To say no, as I was an afterthought

[SkunderlaiSkendi]

I went to visit my Mum last week

Whilst there, she mentioned that her and my two siblings (along with their partners and kids) had booked a xmas meal

I was then invited - in her words- ''if we can change the booking''

Me and OH have made very loose plans that involve staying home and would have loved to have gone, but the fact we are an afterthought has pissed me off to such an extent I have said no

AIBU? - clearly it matters not to anyone if me and my husband are there or not?

😂😂

Yes thank you for your enquiry, I am still on my way out

To anyone who is interested - I did ask. In the sense of removing any resentment from myself, I thought id just ask - which I have to say is NOT the norm in my family which is why I avoided it

Normally I have a fairly good relationship with my family - I live an hour away from my Mum and Sibling 1, and Sibling 2 lives abroad so do not see them as much as I used to

I did speak to Mum and Sibling1 about this, why were me and DH not invited, and they both became very unconfortable, blustered, embarrassed, blaming each other - and Mum actually slammed out of the room and sibling 1 said they had to go fairly soon afterwards - and i did not get a straight answer at all, I almost felt guilty for having put them on the spot. As I was leaving Mum said oh i must go in and call Sibling 1 to check they are OK.

it is very much like that in my family there is no healthy discussion about anything and as a result even I do nto know how to assert myself

Right now, I realise I will never get any answer but I am OK with that. I know what I will be doing Chrimbo day and it wont be with them

That's very sad, and quite weird, that they'd do this, not least if you're ill. Very crap of them. I hope you manage to enjoy Christmas and make the most of the peace and freedom you'll get now.

Is it on Xmas day or just an event before ?

How strange. You could just style it out and join them on the day by changing the booking. See what transpires. I would.. They have treated you badly.

As I was leaving Mum said oh i must go in and call Sibling 1 to check they are OK.

That's awful.

And perhaps an answer?

I mean if they both thought that the other had asked you that is what would have been said isn't it?