Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

Did you never ever try a food as an older child/adult that your parents had never given you? I can certainly think of loads of foods I tried as an older teen and young adult that I was never exposed to in my family home.

okay op have had exclusive HV.

HV never deny cultural or lifestyle changes for vegetarian diet, doesn't mean they alter what they say. both are not same. It is compromise, If any HV said differently, I doubt.

I've not worked with (or personally had) any HV who's expressed concerns about children being offered balanced vegetarian diets. Neither have my friends, colleagues or DH. If anything, most conversations about healthy diets tend to be attempts to encourage the introduction of more vegetables and fruit into children's diets.

The one statement I shared above from HV includes everything.

But you're saying that a health visitor will say a balanced diet needs to include meat otherwise there is a risk...?

"I was advised same from HV , to include all different groups of meat and veg. HV can advise and correct a parent right. same with a doctor. what is wrong.
A parent better take HV advise ,if she ignore the parts of the advises HV's know that parent is taking some risks."

If you're choosing to feed your child meat, then you'll likely get some advice about including variety and different frequencies for different meats, but you're unlikely to be told it's a risk for your child to not eat meat, if you're choosing to feed them a balanced vegetarian diet instead.

Yes, risk not getting all different nutrients baby needs

Maybe you need to list the protein sources and vitamin ranges in the food you cook for yourself/baby. Personally, I'd print it out and hand it over without a word when they started. You sound like an educated and mindful vegetarian. Some vegetarians are on a peanut butter and cheesy baked potato diet. Tiny tummies can't fit in much volume, so it has to be nutrient dense.

Which will be covered by a balanced vegetarian diet. If your health visitor made you feel that you had to feed your baby meat or risk harm coming to them, then that's not ok, as a balanced vegetarian diet is fine for a child, especially a young baby whose main source of nutrition is milk.

Oh you are cleverer than HV . great.

I don't know. Having encountered a number of health visitors in a range of capacities, I've met people with a variety of levels of experience and skill, so I wouldn't like to make a sweeping judgement on cleverness. If your health visitor made you feel you had to feed your child meat, they shouldn't have done that, though. Vegetarian diets and diets with little meat in them aren't hugely controversial and there's no reason why a physically well child can't safely eat such a diet.

You seem to have a lot of anger towards people saying a vegetarian diet can be ok, and it's hard to see where that's coming from. Nobody here has (that I can see) attacked you for your choices about your own child's diet.

@Scirocco seems pretty clever to me based on her posts but I haven't met your HV so cannot make any comparison.

There are often people on Mumsnet complaining about their HVs and the advice that they have given, so I don't think that as a profession they are infallible.

you are making up a lot, never said one can not eat vegetarian when my DH is the one.

I have been vegetarian for major part of my life.

You better stop this

The thing is, if you are absolutely honest about where meat comes from and the process involved, I strongly doubt there would be many children who would eat it. My kids are vegetarian and when they are old enough to learn the truth about meat production, they are old enough to choose what they will eat. As it's basically a fucking horror movie, that won't be til their early teens. But meat eating as a default setting is outdated nonsense,

It is only very restrictive diets that may be considered at the threshold for legal intervention. I have yet to see any evidence of any Section 47 Enquiries based on a restrictive vegan diet without other factors at play.

Stop what?

I'm not quite sure where you are getting that from, my health visitor never said anything to me about feeding meat to my child, and I doubt it is something they would ever say unless you bought up that you were going to be feeding your child a vegetarian or vegan diet, in which case they may have some words of advice.

Saying that, health visitors are notoriously patchy about their 'advice' IMO, it's nice to get their perspective on things, but I would take what they say with a pinch of salt, and they will not report you to social services for feeding your child as a vegetarian, that's just absurd.

I'm a meat eater and we don't have any vegetarians in the family, but my daughter doesn't seem to like meat, she's tried all the different things we eat but she doesn't seem to enjoy the taste/texture so she doesn't eat it, I've stopped giving it her now apart from every now and again to try things, but she's no worse off for it, and I say that as a meat eater.

I don't think they bring it up with vegetarians . doesn't mean statemat is right for one and wrong for another, that's that.

non-vegitarians eat both diets so, why they be talking mean about veg eaters or veg food? so vegetarians should talk decent about other diets in public forum

I don't think anyone has been mean about people who choose to eat meat... Disagreeing with a dietary preference isn't the same as being unkind or seeking to offend people with that dietary preference.

Not all, but a lot of vegetarians won't accept meat eaters choice though, because they have chosen to exclude it from their diet, so they think other people are wrong for not doing the same, it's the exact argument that this is about. It's the same with ex smokers.. no one complains more about smokers than an ex smoker, so it isn't limited to food choice, I think it's just human nature, when you feel you've been enlightened you then want to voice those views to other people.. whether they are interested or not.

Just my opinion of course.

I agree. My son doesn't really eat any meat now (I'm veggie and he has dabbled with chicken in the past) but he does love beans and pulses and veg, which many other kids would steer well clear of.

As long as you are making sure your baby gets all the essential amino acids and an equal balance of omega 3 and 6.

You’re the parent but I don’t agree with pushing your lifestyle on your child as they haven’t been given a choice, I know babies can’t make choices but they need meat protein for development so I hope you’re supplementing their diet. I hope when they are older and want to eat meat and make that choice for themselves you’ll support them.

My veggie sister raised her son on a veggie diet, but she saw their doctor before weaning and got advice on how she could substitute the benefits of meat, fish, chicken etc. It wasn’t easy but she did it, her son is now 30, eats meat, fish etc, by his adult choice, which my sister had no issue with. He is also slim, active and very healthy - as lots of carnivores are, obviously. Our mother did actually say the classic, “But he can some wafer thin ham, surely?” 😂

But we all push our lifestyle onto our kids to a certain degree. Unless the parents are incredibly adventurous cooks, all children will grow up without experience of certain foods because their parents simply aren't in the habit of eating it. My son has never eaten meat or fish (apart from trying ham once and the occasional bit of sausage roll at his friend's house).

However, he's used to eating tofu and pulses, which have a lot of health benefits and lots of his meat-eating friends have never tried. Nobody ever accuses meat eaters of 'pushing their lifestyle onto their kids' by basing most of their meals around meat and fish instead of tofu and chickpeas.

That's not a criticism of feeding kids a non-vegetarian diet, by the way. It's perfectly possible to raise healthy children on both carnivorous and vegetarian diets. But my point is that most children grow up eating whatever their parents are in the habit of preparing, which varies a lot from family to family. Until they're older, the parents' lifestyle is the kids' lifestyle in every family, vegetarian or not.

I'd agree with you if the parents were living a very extreme lifestyle, like only eating raw food or fruitarianism. But there's nothing extreme about bog standard vegetarianism.

We did this with our three and they were absolutely fine. They are adults now - two are still vegetarian and the other eats some meat but not much.