Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

We had such cases, a parent wanted to get her child away from traditional education and portrayed her child as child goddess too. When courts involved she took her away and put up with vedic school and after 14 years the girl still was in an attire of yogic

OP can choose the diet for the child, and keep away from family no issues. but she can't judge others when she dint want to be judged.

@CustardCreams2 Christ, all of the medical professionals who I've mentioned it to have been very supportive and know that children (and adults) can be very healthy eating a vegetarian diet, likewise with meat

thepariscrimefiles

You are a doctor and you say the giving a child a balanced vegetarian diet is tantamount to child neglect? Do you report your vegetarian patients to social services

That’s not what this poster said. They said some vegan diets can be neglectful of young children’s needs . Which they can.

And what in anything the OP has said, suggests she's feeding her child a harmful diet? There's nothing that suggests she's doing anything to harm her baby, just that her dietary choices aren't what you would like to do in her situation.

As a doctor, you should already be mindful of the distress which can be caused by the casual use of phrases like 'child neglect', especially when a mum is already receiving unnecessary judgement and criticism from people when she's feeling vulnerable enough to seek advice and support from a parenting site.

Maybe, you could instead give the OP advice about how to deal with feeling undermined and disrespected by people who are meant to be supporting her, and about how she could ensure her dietary choices for her child are as balanced as possible - eg recipes, vitamins, seeking advice from relevant specialists (eg paediatric dietitians).

There seems quite a big jump between "8 month old baby doesn't eat meat" and "vedic schooled family-proclaimed child deity"...

@MrsSkylerWhite no, in the first post where they mention child neglect, they're saying that anything other than an inclusive meat diet is child neglect

it is about parental rights for babies . child godess also been vegitarian.

Being vegitarian is just a choice ,they have no right to humiliate other foods.

who does, they must be depriving their children in many ways.

Nobody here has been humiliating anyone...?

Why would being vegetarian mean depriving your children "in other ways"? What are you accusing people of doing here?

only responded to such comments.

In an earlier post, she said:

'A meat inclusive diet is tried and tested. You can eat leaner, organic, occasional meat. Things like chicken are so rarely an allergen it is a very safe choice. Plus the protein, iron, b vitamins etc that you absorb in a very specific way from meat alone, that Is not replicated by absorption by beans, plants. The default position should be an all inclusive diet until young adulthood, where they can then most likely decide to adopt your views. Because you would have influenced them. To do otherwise is really quite morally questionable in my option, your child’s welfare comes before that of the greater animal population. It may even tantamount to child neglect.'

She is advocating for a meat inclusive diet. In a later post she refers to a vegan diet, but in this post she is stating that any diet that is not meat inclusive may be tantamount to child neglect.

Well, you've been responding to me, so where have I humiliated any food or people who choose to eat it?

You can't humiliate a food. You can only humiliate a person. Do you mean that people have no right to humiliate people who feed their children meat?

OP did not do that. She has done her research and made an informed choice with her husband about how they should feed her baby. Not letting grandparents give the baby meat isn't humiliating them.

OP agreed with such statements too.

why would I pick your name if you haven't, please check back by yourself.

Fair enough, I only read the comment about vegan diets.

I can't see any posts humiliating people or food. I've asked if you could explain why you find it offensive to refer to the presence of a dead animal in meat production processes, but you haven't explained why this is offensive to you. Is it an issue of needing to feel detached from the animal in order to feel comfortable eating it? Or something else?

I was advised same from HV , to include all different groups of meat and veg. HV can advise and correct a parent right. same with a doctor. what is wrong.

A parent better take HV advise ,if she ignore the parts of the advises HV's know that parent is taking some risks.

That speaks alot about you. bye

But actually by doing what you are doing he won't ever be willing to try it because it'll be something completely unknown - he won't be not eating it because he agrees morally, he'll be not eating it because he's never tried it.
Really you are making the choice for him by preventing him even trying it.

OP's HV hasn't told her that she is taking a risk by feeding her child a vegetarian diet.

You are massively projecting your experiences onto the OP when it is obvious that your lifestyles and values are completely different. You seem very angry with the OP and feel that she has insulted you in some way. She hasn't.

What does?

Asking why someone finds something offensive?

Recognising that when I eat meat, the animal it comes from used to be alive? It's hard not to recognise that when you have experience of country living. I don't feel it as being offensive to talk about animal welfare and slaughter in food production - so if you do, I'm genuinely interested to understand why that is?

I think this will have to be a topic that we all agree to disagree on. As long as everyone has properly researched the realities of the meat industry and are happy to either continue supporting it or not, and how to provide proper nutrition for themselves and their children. Then we all have to make decisions that we're comfortable with.

One thing I do disagree with though is throwing around the term 'child neglect' for people who are raising healthy, happy, loved children (although I'm sure that poster has realised they shouldn't have said that now).

so you htink only some health visitors suggest moms about wholesome diet , okay. great.

A balanced vegetarian diet is a wholesome diet so OP's HV would have no concerns.

My elder children are 6 and 3 and both have seen various paediatricians for various reasons. All of the paediatricians have confirmed that a well planned vegetarian diet is fine for them. They're both healthy and growing well.