Family is against me for not feeding baby meat

[Foxtails]

Sorry if this has been brought up before, but could do with some advice please.

8 month old baby, stopped breastfeeding at 6 months. So far I have not fed anything with meat in it and do not plan to. I am vegetarian and have been for 8 years. DH is not veggie but does eat veggie meals in the house with me (his choice). For now, while my son has no way to make his own decisions, I won’t be feeding him meat. Once he is old enough to decide for himself, he can choose. We will always have vegetarian meals in the house but if he wants to eat it outside of the house that’s up to him and there will be no judgement from me.

It seems like absolutely none of my family members can accept this. My mum, dad, grandparents and also DHs parents have expressed to me how they think this is wrong. I have told them that as long as he is fed and is healthy then there really is no problem, and it’s up to me how I do this. It’s got to the point where it’s being brought up almost every time I see anyone because they are so so against it. I feel attacked. They are telling me not to force my views upon my child, but isn’t that what all parents do?! People parent their children how they think is best and in line with what they agree with. Everyone does this.

I am feeling upset and overwhelmed and feeling like i can’t go and see anyone without them starting this argument with me and I worry that they will feed him meat behind my back. Please could I have some advice on what to do and how to handle this? Has anyone been in this position?

There is no problem at all if you want to make them vegitarians and do everything towards it, but you don't have to come for advise and insult other people opinions including op's parents. parents to can equally have their own stand act on it.

@whyhere

'There’s something about vegetarianism that always brings out the ‘start a fight in an empty room’ brigade'

That's so true! It always reminds me of the Peter Kay joke about when he goes into a shop and tried to pay with a £20 note:

'She looked at me like I came into her house on Christmas Day and pissed on her kids'.

They feel personally insulted that someone that they don't know and will never meet has made a decision about how they will feed their child that is different from what they would so.

@Runssometimes, @Scirocco

furniture , wood (floors and doors etc.) all from dead trees, we should call dead tree chair, table ...infact everything of any material we come across is dead form of some thing. meat is also a material .

I want all people who call meat a dead animal, can stop eating, living. please if water is not a living thing then better have only that.

This kind of attitude in OP's and few others posts annoyed. my DH is vegitarian , So I know the cycle

@Foxtails I hope my experience will help. I’m a lifelong vegetarian married to a carnivore. Children were raised vegetarian until about 9/10 at which point they could choose to eat meat. Actually, I lie, they’ve always eaten fish too so pescatarian.

Vegetarian at school because let’s not pretend most meat in school lunches is the best quality 🫣

Whichever way you go, it’s a choice. I chose a vegetarian diet for my children, others might choose a carnivore/omnivore diet. But both are a choice.

I don’t mind my dc now eating meat if they want to, but I do have a STRONG preference that it’s proper, organic meat - not ultra processed nuggets and ham etc (that so many children eat non stop)

One child has never eaten meat and never wants to. One is happy to eat meat occasionally but is quite discerning about only eating “good” meat.

People can be so weird about this. I was also told it’s ok to raise a girl vegetarian but not a boy 🫣

Sounds like you’re doing a great job OP. Sorry you’re getting so much flack. But yeah - it’s a choice either way isn’t it and maybe framing it like that will help with extended family?

But, yeah, a wooden piece of furniture is made from a dead tree. That's why people care about things like sustainability, recycling, reusability... What's offensive about that? It's just a statement of fact.

"I want all people who call meat a dead animal, can stop eating, living..." - does that include all the people who eat meat who recognise that the process of the meat getting to the plate involves an animal dying?

I think most people would find wanting death for people based on their dietary preferences to be a bit more offensive than a factual understanding of meat production, tbh.

Why feed a child ultra processed meat replacements and just plants 🤷🏼‍♀️

No need for ultra processed meat replacements in a balanced vegetarian diet.

meat eaters are being called names . so protesting those racists . OP failed to make her point across so, she exposed dangerous opinions

https://avibirds.com/scavenger-birds/

only for who don't feel shamed of calling names to others.

Yes but we have to deal with reality. And the reality of the situation is that vegans and vegetarians statistically do eat more UPF than omnivores. Having lofty ideological theoretical views is one thing, but the practical reality of a child’s health and diet is more important.

How is a factual description of a process calling names? And wanting death for people simply because you've experienced something as being rude or upsetting still feels a bit excessive...

What is it about those factual descriptions that is offensive for you?

Grandparents don’t get to dictate how their grandchildren are raised. The OP is not choosing a harmful way of feeding her child. She’s proposing a vegetarian diet while her child is young, not mainlining crack cocaine. All they have to do is respect the choices of the parents.

It's not particularly lofty or theoretical to offer a child a balanced diet (whether vegetarian or non-vegetarian), and it's not hard to avoid ultra processed meat replacements.

Given most people are meat eaters, we have a significant number of young children being overweight and obese, I don’t think vegetarians are a big part of the problem.

I don’t think you can draw that conclusion from that statement?

BetweenThem
**
What?
Yes, my children are glad that they’ve never eaten animals. They don’t need to have eaten them to feel that way. Are you seriously trying to tell my children how they can/can’t feel based on the ‘logic’ that you have to have tried things that are ‘legal and normal’ to know how you feel about it?

Would you be upset if they decided that they wanted to?

I just don’t get why, as a parent, you would want to risk your child’s health and development in this way? A meat inclusive diet is tried and tested. You can eat leaner, organic, occasional meat. Things like chicken are so rarely an allergen it is a very safe choice. Plus the protein, iron, b vitamins etc that you absorb in a very specific way from meat alone, that Is not replicated by absorption by beans, plants. The default position should be an all inclusive diet until young adulthood, where they can then most likely decide to adopt your views. Because you would have influenced them. To do otherwise is really quite morally questionable in my option, your child’s welfare comes before that of the greater animal population. It may even tantamount to child neglect.

So according to this thread, because I feed my child a vegetarian diet and called meat a dead animal, I have been wished dead and have been told I'm neglecting my beautiful, healthy children 😊

Not feeding your child meat isn't child neglect. It's just a dietary preference you don't like (and which you don't need to implement yourself). A health visitor or social worker wouldn't give two hoots about a kid having a balanced vegetarian diet.

My DC is currently refusing to eat meat, and is living off veg, beans, hummus and fruit smoothies. Someone had better call social work...

And what would a social worker know..?

Hopefully, the legal definition of child neglect.

I’m a doctor, not a lawyer. Some forms of vegans diets enforced upon children absolutely do amount to child neglect.

You are a doctor and you say the giving a child a balanced vegetarian diet is tantamount to child neglect? Do you report your vegetarian patients to social services?

Throughout history, people have actually really not eaten very much meat. It's not as though cavemen were out there catching animals for every meal. It wasn't a big part of their diet because the berries and veg were right there and easier to harvest. It's relatively recently that people have eaten so much of it.