Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

No posts from OP since midday. What’s the betting she’s not coming back. Can’t say as I blame her.

Not just my area, most of the top public schools also offer fee reduction via Scholarships. Maybe you're just in an outlier area.

I did red it properly.A medical professional has said it isn't 🤷‍♀️

Worth ruling out any medical factors, of course, but if the weight gain bothers her, she needs to manage her food intake. That’s a lot of weight to put on in a few months, suggests more that a few treats from the shop/kitchen. Disordered eating is easy to hide at boarding schools.

I think her daughter is 14 or 15.

However the ‘type of girl’ comment is uncalled for.

all she needed to say was she is comfortable that her daughter isn’t sexually active. No need to evoke terminology from a bygone era used to shame women and girls.

https://www.etoncollege.com/admissions/scholarships-and-awards/s/

https://www.winchestercollege.org/admissions/election

https://www.wycombeabbey.com/admissions/#scholarships

As I said in my original post it’s the big cheese public schools removing value. Here is an example of just two I’ve bothered to search. Wycombe Abbey girls makes clear also that their scholarships carry “prestige but limited financial value” - ie up to 5% fees.

https://www.wycombeabbey.com/admissions/#scholarships

I could add many more links (including the ones we came across - which were not these). Again, as I said, a world away from when I was at school. Hard to deny that this is scandalous considering scholarships were a way of attracting talent to a school, which in turn reflected well on the school. Now it’s a totally one way street - we’ll take your talent and you’ll still pay - but get to gloat. Anyway - won’t derail the thread further.

https://www.etoncollege.com/admissions/scholarships-and-awards/s/

https://www.winchestercollege.org/admissions/election

https://www.wycombeabbey.com/admissions/#scholarships

As I said in my original post it’s the big cheese public schools removing value. Here is an example of just two I’ve bothered to search. Wycombe Abbey girls makes clear also that their scholarships carry “prestige but limited financial value” - ie up to 5% fees.

https://www.wycombeabbey.com/admissions/#scholarships

I could add many more links (including the ones we came across - which were not these). Again, as I said, a world away from when I was at school. Hard to deny that this is scandalous considering scholarships were a way of attracting talent to a school, which in turn reflected well on the school. Now it’s a totally one way street - we’ll take your talent and you’ll still pay - but get to gloat. Anyway - won’t derail the thread further.

A school doctor who is most likely a visiting GP unfamiliar with DD’s history. Why else would OP be taking her DD to visit her own GP to get to the bottom of it. Hopefully she will get a referral back to the original consultant for a review.

You said NO monetary value! I said scholarships are low monetary value ie 5%-15%. The links you have posted support my assertion of low monetary value with the exception of Eton + another who are £0

Fruit is full of sugar, your body doesn't know the difference between healthy and unhealthy sugars

Winchester and Eton have NO monetary value. Nor does Benenden / Kings Canterbury and many many others. St Paul’s girls has removed scholarships altogether. You can keep arguing, but again - I attended one of these schools with a 50% scholarship, which was in parallel with other top schools. This is no longer, and that is fact. Do some research - even where you find there are 5% awards etc, this is a joke compared to what a scholarship used to mean. The purpose is now as I described - for honour / prestige, or as some might see it - arrogance.

That thread is over 5 years old now. I don’t think we can make assumptions that the OP is still single and disabled. Some disabilities resolve over time. It’s a huge assumption that she has a permanent disability, she may well have a relationship now; she hasn’t confirmed any of this in the current thread, so I don’t think it is relevant.

St Paul’s is not a boarding school. It has music and drama scholarships and a bursary programme.

It’s a moot point as there are state boarding schools where you’re only paying for the board.

Difficult to tell without any information on age, tot weight etc. but assuming it’s as bad as you portray have you tried having a conversation with your daughter about her apparent obesity? How does she feel about her current appearance?

Eton offers over 100 no fees scholarships per year
https://www.etoncollege.com/eton-outwards/broadening-access/

What a horrible way to talk about your own child… “daughter getting fat”

Just imagine if she ever stumbled upon this thread (however unlikely that may be is irrelevant)

This 😔 Poor kid

Just to give you an idea of the calories involved:

Let's say 17 of the 22 kg have gone on in 17 weeks. So that's 1kg a week, 143g/day, and a gram of fat is 9 calories. So that's almost 1,300 calories per day, every day, beyond what she needs.

For reference, a digestive biscuit is about 70 calories, a can of Coke is about 130, and a Big Mac is about 500.

Somthing similar happened to me. How old is she?

Reasons why it happened to me... I had an eating disorder prior (did a 'skinny' sport and then gave it up) and then I started eating 'like other girls' and that really hit me. I was also quite stressed, big lifestyle change from being active to suddently having to study hard and stay in more, so had a big bowl of cheesy pasta for stress relief as lessons finished, and then snacks to help with studying as the evening went on. Was also surrounded by people that throught junk food was normal food.

Similar happened to my cousin when she changed schools and had a big lifestyle change (harder academics, loss of full-on sport routine).

Similar happeed in first year of uni as well, again, similar factors.

You're right that if the school is creating an obesogenic environment and think that is normal, that is probably not the place for her. Environment and habits are so important as a teen.

Could she live at home?

She needs to find other ways to manager her stress. A step away from eating out of boredom/ stress, and a move to use physical activity and outdoors time to help with the change instead would be good.

How she learns to cope with changes and environments now is probably pretty key to her future health.

People may slate you for it, but there's actually nothing wrong with being in a more health conscious, active lifestyle oriented environment. Teens eating junk food is not normal, no matter what popular culture tries to tell us.

Those are bursaries. As I pointed out, they are different. Election (as it’s called) holds no value.

Thanks I was being facetious.

It seems looking at the back story that this young girl has had an awful lot to deal with one way or another.

Disabled single mother, with much younger siblings at home. Seems like a bit of an unconventional family, reading between the lines. I'm guessing she has been given a bursary/scholarship to board because of some challenging circumstances at home? And then to cap it all she has a malignant tumour diagnosed, resulting in the loss of an ovary. That's a lot for a 13 year old girl to deal with. She may be putting on weight because her surgery has messed up her hormones just as she's going through puberty or she may be comfort eating because she's dealing with a lot of shit.

I'd be interested to know how much she weighs and what her height is.

@joey197860, thank you for justifying the prejudice I have against the sort of parents who send their children to boarding school.

Er, no. My DH is type 2 diabetic and fruits with a low GI won’t spike blood sugar - even high sugar fruits like melon, pineapple and cherries can be eaten in moderation,