Daughter getting fat in school

[joey197860]

Teenage daughter has gained 22kg in new boarding school. No medical explanation for it and she's very happy, wrll integrated and academically excelling. School has a shop on site and girls have access to kitchen in the evenings. Daughter had major surgery last year and specifically should not eat sugar loaded food. What am I to do? I want to pull her from the school at the end of this term. The school is absolutely no help when I discussed this with them.

@ConstanceM op has said she is a disabled mum of 3 in previous posts

I’m a moron now am I ? have a look back through the thread and you’ll see that there were at least three posts referring to the OP’s last thread in which she detailed herself that she was disabled and a single mum of three children. One poster even provided a link to the previous thread. The poster you answered was upthread and I answered her myself with the relevant information. So I am neither twisting things nor pathetic. You on the other hand……………..

All very good points thank you. Yea absolutely they work for some and I guess my strong point was more about being aware that they aren’t perfect and not that they are bad. Totally take your point though and you are right. My sister lived and worked overseas for work and her kids went to international school in the country as a lot of kids did so there are alternatives too but isn’t easy if parents have split.

Most kids at boarding school are either military or have parents who work abroad for part of the year.
Bursaries and scholarships exist in order to pay fees for less wealthy families..
Please link to the data for "95% of places are rich folk", or did you just make that up?

Hwy @ConstanceM in June 2019 @joey197860 posted

"... I have exactly the same problem with a 22-month-old toddler... I, as a disabled single mother with 3 children..."

It's all there. Advanced Search is your friend

I didn’t claim anything. OP said it herself in a previous thread which has been linked to by several posters in this one. And your posts come across as anything but intelligent if you can’t link back to what’s been clearly said upthread, preferring to throw unfounded insults. Why don’t you own that ?

At no point was there mention of an oncologist. You do know the word tumour doesn’t equal cancer, right?! The vast majority of tumours removed are benign, but depending on where they are located (eg hypothalamus / adrenal gland etc) can cause other clinical issues.

Unfortunately the vast majority of scholarships at major public schools now have no monetary value, and they are for the “honour” (eg arrogance) of having one. When I was at school they awarded up to 50% fees for academic / music / other talent. I have no idea why this has changed - but the idea seems to have mostly gone.

Okay thanks that helps and makes sense. I didn’t realise that boarding schools were full
of children from rich disabled single mothers. I thought it was rich people who couldn’t be asked.

If she had a tumor that could have affected her hormones that is probably your answer. 100% of weight gain or loss is determined by the complex interplay of hormones. Among other things, hormones determine 100% of appetite. Take her to an endocrinologist and figure out what is really going on. If they close the kitchen and she's starving because of a hormonal imbalance, she will get food elsewhere. Stop blaming the school and look for the real problem.

A few posters have assumed that this was cancer haven’t they ? Odd, since the OP has never actually mentioned the word and has said several times that her daughter is not on any medication.

Sorry that's incorrect. Scholarships, whilst usually a lower % ie 5-15% and linked to academic/sport/music achievements, do have a monetary value. Bursaries are the ones which are means tested and usually are 20-100% of fees

Sorry, that’s incorrect - since I’ve just been through the application process with my child where the vast majority of scholarships are worth nothing. Bursaries are a different matter - but you basically have to prove much lower income than would actually cause struggle with fees.

Please could someone point out where the OP says she’s disabled? I’ve just been back through her posts again and cannot find where this has come up?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3599365-Neighbours-complaining-about-toddler-noise?reply=87490643&utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Boarding schools are not full of children from rich disabled single mothers. There’s no indication that OP is rich. If she’s disabled and there’s a significant reason that her child/ren would be better served by boarding school, there are bursaries available specifically targeted at those who would otherwise be unable to afford it. If you have a look at the posts by @StormingBurt as they can explain it better than I can. I was involved in supporting disabled parents whose children had received bursaries in certain circumstances and only have a basic understanding that they are provided in certain circumstances where families would benefit but are unable to afford the fees.

I’m not prying into the type of operation or tumour but if it was anything pituitary related, could she have developed Cushings? Or thyroid or something? These types of tumours can really mess about with hormones and thus weight.
*I’m not medical but had tests for this sort of thing and was cushingoid due to a combination of meds I was on.

Rubbish

Each indy school is different but in our area ie County, every indy school offers a scholarship up to the value of between 5-15%. Yes they are more for bragging rights than monetary value but a quick search shows that every indy school in a 50 mile radius offers a fee reduction with their scholarships

Happy people do not pile on three and a half stone in three months which according to doctor isn't medical.

Three and a half lbs ? Maybe but no that is a huge amount of weight and would be a significant impact on her body and health.

Can you explain what you mean by that?

This sounds very sensible. It's a huge amount of weight to gain in so short a time even if she was eating loads of junk every day, so it does seem likely to be linked with her medical history.

Read the thread properly. The school doctor said the cause wasn’t medical, not the childs’ or OP’s own doctor. DD had surgery recently to remove a hormone related tumour which is likely the explanation for the sudden rapid weight gain, not overeating. OP is taking her DD back to the GP and hopefully will be re-referred to the original specialist who treated DD to check that all is well. That’s the most sensible starting point given the recent medical history, rather than assuming she’s miserable and over eating.

OP hasn’t said how old her DD is, beyond saying she’s a teenager. That could be as young as 13, so it may have been a shock when that poster suggested birth control.

I’m glad that’s the case in your area!