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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wouldn't dance to our special song

253 replies

marmitesarnies · 23/11/2024 13:43

Last night, at a bday party, our special song comes on. We are standing in a group, I look at DH with my most alluring face, say "our special song, let's dance", but he didn't respond. It was humiliating.

Has anyone else ever experienced such rejection and what do you think should do now?

OP posts:
Thefsm · 24/11/2024 19:33

My husband would have stiffened up and got a furrow in his brow if I suggested it - he had an affair two years ago and any time from when that started I know this is how he would react. It makes me feel like he won’t cheat on the memory of the other woman by touching me or acknowledging special times.

Girlking · 24/11/2024 19:36

marivaux · 23/11/2024 13:50

Were you a bit tipsy when you were doing this 'most alluring face'? Because I'm picturing you as being a bit tipsy when you were doing this 'most alluring face'.

"Ooh, love, is are shpecial shong, les dansh 🥴 💃"

😂🤣

Girlking · 24/11/2024 19:43

tuvamoodyson · 23/11/2024 14:50

‘If you want my body and you think I’m sexy…’

😆😁😂

pineapplesundae · 24/11/2024 20:50

😂

shehasglasses48 · 24/11/2024 21:12

I’m sure you were having a reference to Miranda when you mentioned ‘ alluring’. Unfortunately there may be just some humourless mumsnetters on here. Yes it would have been a bit disappointing for you but some men…

Mamabearsmile · 24/11/2024 21:22

I have, I dont want say a mean thing. My partner was having an affair. But in time it didn't take anything away from the original memory's. But all of the things you felt I felt too. Just ask him about it some time in a stressless way. But don't do it unless you're ready to hear the answer. I'm praying it's something else, it could be something else. Facing the worst can lighten the actual or prepare you for the truth.

HelpMeGetThrough · 24/11/2024 21:43

shuffleofftobuffalo · 23/11/2024 13:50

Also here to see the alluring face.....

.

DH wouldn't dance to our special song
Haveadayofflove · 24/11/2024 23:49

'My most alluring face'

I'm actually saying that in my head in Stevie's voice from Miranda

BlueFlowers5 · 25/11/2024 03:19

Get Down on It?

notzen · 25/11/2024 08:39

maras2 · 23/11/2024 19:11

My DH recently put on his 'alluring face' when he was a bit pissed at a party. and they played 'our special song'.
Special song was 'Black Dog' by Led Zeppelin that we used to cut a rug to in 1971.
As we're now in our 70's his dribbly, drunken allure face didn't really have the effect that he was hoping for as I looked lovingly back at him with my best Death Stare.
Other party goers, much younger, must have thought that there was something wrong with our facial muscles/motor skills as they bought us more drinks and offered to get us stuff from the buffet.
When we got home, we asked Alexa to stream Led Zeppelin 2 and held hands while arse dancing, sitting together on the settee. Smile

That’s beautiful. ❤️

It’s great to read that some people are actually ‘living the dream! ❤️

WinkingJadeEye · 25/11/2024 08:44

OliviaRodrighost · 23/11/2024 14:01

Actually snorted at this!

Show quote history

I'm glad I'm not the only one!

GettingStuffed · 25/11/2024 08:49

Do people have special songs? I have no sense of rhythm so can't dance, on the other hand DH can but we don't to protect me from my awful dancing.

I know I can't dance it's not DH telling me.

If your DH was talking to other people did he even notice you wanted to dance

Suchasonganddance · 25/11/2024 15:22

He was doubtless mortified.

Do try to stop being so needy if you are over 16.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 26/11/2024 05:10

Boutonnière · 23/11/2024 16:56

Rule of thumb I’ve come to realise - the more PDA or gushing over ‘our song!’ In
by the, say, over 40s, the greater the likelihood of one or both having an affair at the time.

Ive found the same with social media posts, the friends of mine gushing the most over anniversaries and partners birthday's are the ones I know are in toxic or abusive relationships or who's partners have recently cheated.

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 26/11/2024 05:30

LaMarschallin · 23/11/2024 18:59

Sure OP, sure!

I don't think it matters if the OP was really light hearted about it originally or not.
She's taken all the teasing really well and styled it out beautifully - I'm not sure many would have coped as well with some of the things said here.
I know I wouldn't.

I think she's taken it really well too. She's taken it with grace. I'm not sure I could have done half as well.

Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:34

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 26/11/2024 05:30

I think she's taken it really well too. She's taken it with grace. I'm not sure I could have done half as well.

Show quote history

Thanks both! First time I have done an AIBU, and it was fun to see responses. It was definitely light hearted, it did happen but I wasn't really humiliated, but I was interested in the hive mind thoughts.

Overall I was quite surprised at the antipathy to dancing.....and/ or the idea that DH might like to dance!

I am 55, been married 26 years and DH and I regularly dance at parties, as do our friends! 👗💃

OP posts:
Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:36

notzen · 25/11/2024 08:39

That’s beautiful. ❤️

It’s great to read that some people are actually ‘living the dream! ❤️

Show quote history

Lovely!

OP posts:
Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:36

Haveadayofflove · 24/11/2024 23:49

'My most alluring face'

I'm actually saying that in my head in Stevie's voice from Miranda

Yes you got it!

OP posts:
Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:37

shehasglasses48 · 24/11/2024 21:12

I’m sure you were having a reference to Miranda when you mentioned ‘ alluring’. Unfortunately there may be just some humourless mumsnetters on here. Yes it would have been a bit disappointing for you but some men…

😀gotta love Stevie!

OP posts:
Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:39

TheHangingGardensOfBasildon · 23/11/2024 18:06

That was a real anti-climax for me, OP - I've never even heard of that song.

Hitherto, I was trying to think of the most poignant romantic songs that I could and had narrowed it down to only three realistic contenders: Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, Hev Yew Gotta Loight Boy or The Marrow Song.

Sorry to disappoint! It's from pulp fiction when John Travolta and Uma Thermal dance.....

OP posts:
Original poster
marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:40

KimberleyClark · 23/11/2024 16:44

I’m amazed at how many people are talking about “dancing in public” like it was having sex in public.

Ha ha yes agreed, a terrible, embarrassing mortal sin!

OP posts:
LaMarschallin · 26/11/2024 19:47

marmitesarnies · 26/11/2024 19:39

Sorry to disappoint! It's from pulp fiction when John Travolta and Uma Thermal dance.....

Show quote history

That confused me.
You said the song was "Misirlou" but I thought they danced to "You Never Can Tell" (which seems much more like an "Our Song" to me).

Persianpaws · 26/11/2024 22:54

Next time put dancing queen on OP and dance by yourself and show your husband what he’s missing. Make sure you are in the middle of a dance floor so everyone can stand back and watch.

I just practiced my “alluring face on DP” he said “are you ok? Have you hurt your back?” 😂

SouthernBelle2 · 27/11/2024 12:51

Is this all you have to worry about?

Pickandmixmood · 27/11/2024 14:52

SouthernBelle2 · 27/11/2024 12:51

Is this all you have to worry about?

Don’t be so ridiculous. She has given us all a laugh with this lighthearted thread

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