Not dating 25 year olds liivng at home?

[itstheocto]

I am nearly 25, would I be unreasonable to refuse to date men still living at home around my age?I have lived by myself since I was 18, surely most men by their mid 20's live elsewhere?

Good luck is all I can say lol

Any reason is a valid one. Always protect yourself financially

Everyone has their likes and dislikes. If you don’t want a man who lives at home, then fair enough. Some don’t like skinny, fat, certain professions, facial hair, tall, short, etc. You don’t have to justify it, but you also don’t have to make it a big deal.

Did you have any financial support to leave home?

All of my sons still lived at home when they were 25. All left by their early 30s and are all normal, nice men who have their own families now. You could be missing out on a nice man if you follow this rule but if it's something that gives you the ick then follow your feelings

Stop coming here for validation. Women here are not going to agree when many of them are twice your age and have sons the same age as you living with them.

YANBU but you need to be more confident and secure in your decision.

You wouldn't be unreasonable, it is completely up to you how you filter the people you consider dating. If living away from their parents is important to you that's fine. I do think it would limit your choices though. Many people go back home after uni now to try and save. I think focusing on their level of independence would possibly be more useful to you than a blanket ban on those who live at home.

Your choice. I felt the same.

Depends on why they are still living at home.

DH and I both lived with our respective parents until our late 20's, we travelled the world together, had a lot of fantastic trips and experiences and saved for a house deposit and wedding whilst developing our careers. Moved out of our parents and straight into our own house at 28, married at 29.

If we'd moved out and rented, I doubt we could have done any of this, sometimes it's just financially prudent.

Depends.
If they are living at home, paying minimal rent and pissing the rest of their money away, then YANBU

however if they are paying their way at home and are saving proper money for a house deposit then YABU.

But do whatever you want. It is you who might be missing out on someone amazing because they dont fit into your box.

You can not date anyone for any reason you wish- if you don't fancy someone you don't fancy someone, and clearly financial security (or lack of) is a deciding factor in attraction for you.

Sort of get it but these days it's flippin' hard to get on and started on the property ladder.

Good for you, stick to your standards, at your age I refused to date men who couldn't drive and men who were unemployed.

I mean, you can refuse to date someone for whatever reason you want.

But I know very few people in their early twenties who are fully independent, so you may be restricting yourself for no reason.

You can choose not to date someone for whatever reason in the same way someone may pass over you for another reason.
Most people cannot afford to live by themselves from 18 these days.

How did you manage to leave home at 18 and support yourself financially in your own home? Did you do it all by yourself?

@itstheocto have you noticed there's been a housing & cost of living crisis for the last few years & it's likely to continue for the foreseeable future?

As its been said on lots of threads lately, it makes sense to stay in the family home to share costs & try to save money. Your choice, but you need a reality check 🙄

I think it's a green flag; I'd much rather a 25 living at home and saving money and could buy a house in a few years than one who is renting and is therefore unable to save. It's more stability in the long run

So, what if you met someone and sparks flew, you had a great conversation, and tons in common and then found out about their living situation? Would you refuse to see them again even though it might be great?

I agree actually.

I suspect many of those men living on their own at 25 are actually not in good financial situations because of extortionate rents and likely to have poor family support plus it's unlikely they would be in anything more than a flat share or HMO.

So sure be picky and ignore them all but personally I'd be wary about discounting all those men maturely saving whilst living with supportive families.

You can have any standards you want when you're dating

Both my Sons are still at home, 28 and 32, younger one is finally moving out, only because he’s buying with his gf. Older one has savings, but not enough to move out on his own.

ANOTHER pop at people in their 20s still living at home.

See you in about 10 years @itstheocto when you're posting on here aged 35, saying 'why am I still single?' 😢

I agree with you op and I have a DSS of 27 living with us.

YANBU imo. Obviously it will vary from case to case though - someone stopping at home for a couple of months between jobs or rentals and paying their way is a very different kettle of fish to someone who has never lived independently and is still looked after by their mummy or daddy.

There are some other questions you can ask, like "So what do you like to cook when you cook for your parents?" and "How do you guys split the bills? Do you do it like a house share?" Or even "It must be nice having all your laundry and cleaning done and dinner on the table" should weed out the useless ones.