Not dating 25 year olds liivng at home?

[itstheocto]

I am nearly 25, would I be unreasonable to refuse to date men still living at home around my age?I have lived by myself since I was 18, surely most men by their mid 20's live elsewhere?

Another classic Mumsnet thread. If it’s not anti NHS, it’s belittling people who live at home. It’s 2024. Hell yes most 20 somethings will still live at home. At 25 assuming you’ve been uni, you will be a couple of years into your career and not likely to be a baller of any description. So your options are pay an extortionate rent alone (very unlikely on a single wage), house share (also expensive) or home and save.

The only people I knew that lived in their own properties at 25 were coupled up and had help from their parents. Usually after renting for a period together.

It's up to you of course, but it seems a bit illogical to me. I know lots of perfectly decent young men and women who live with their parents in their 20s. My DS is at University currently but hoping to get a job in our area when he graduates. If he does, I anticipate he will live with us at least for a few years. We have plenty of space and it will allow him to save a decent deposit for when he does get a place of his own. Plus we'll get a contribution towards the costs of running our house. Obviously if he didn't want to move back in I wouldn't force him but from an economic perspective it would be fairly daft for him to be paying a small fortune to a private landlord whilst a few miles away we have 3 empty bedrooms.
I see financial prudence as a positive trait personally. My DD and her fiancé lived with his Dad until fairly recently which helped them to be able to buy their own home rather than struggling to save for a deposit whilst paying high rent, bills, student loans etc. They're not what you'd call well off but they are in a much more stable situation than many others their age,

Well of course you don’t have to date them if you don’t want to but I think it’s very shortsighted. There are lots of people living at home because of the expense of renting or buying. My son is twenty two and could quite easily be still living at home at twenty five rather than paying rent (which stops you from buying nowadays). Luckily his very lovely gf doesn’t have a problem with it.

It depends on the man. You could get a lovely hard working 25 year old living at home to save hard or help his parents. Or an immature one who can't live independently and wastes his money.

You don't need to ask the internet for validation on who you choose to date, it's entirely up to you but you're living a very different live to me if you don't know that huge numbers of people in their 20s life with their parents

In this economy?

In my area, the average age for moving out into your first property is 34. So a lot of people of that age who want to get on their property ladder are still living at home.

Well I hope when my son next starts dating its a girl who can match the amount he has so far saved for his house deposit cos I would hate to think of my babied back bedroom wanker being used as a means to get a property by a piss poor female independent female who hasn't been able to save whilst renting

A 25 year old living at home paying rent, working and saving money, and doing their fair share of cooking and cleaning is very different to a 25 year old living at home still expecting mummy to wash their pants.

I have 2 adult sons at home.
Both are now working.
They have done their own cooking and laundry since their teens.
Why hand over their hard earned money to grasping landlords?

Stealth boast. Not even stealth, actually.

You can date/not date whoever you want, for whatever reason. Do you think that people who haven’t moved out at 25/have moved back in after uni don’t intend on ever moving out? Because most of them definitely do!

Date who you want. Everyone has different needs and wants in a partner.

I don't think you are being unreasonable - when I was your age (10yrs ago I might add), I was also renting my own place, living alone, and had no interest in dating someone who lived at home with their parents. I was (still am) pretty territorial about my space and didn't want my home to become "the default."

Living at home can sometimes cause weird dynamics, not everyone has the space, sometimes there are younger siblings involved and, let's be honest, trying to have a romantic/sex life under your parents roof can be really fucking awkward.

Well voddy, you were right. OP dropped a goady first post and then didn't return.

You can date whoever you like. You might find that the pool that you can pick from is more limited, but if living with parents is a dealbreaker for you, then it's a dealbreaker.

There are a lot of 25yos living at home these days though...

I think it your choice - that being said if I was you I rather a working man saving up for his future home.

You can date or not date whoever you choose. You don't need anyone else's approval.

I don’t think this is unreasonable at all, especially if you don’t live at home. Totally fair and I felt the same at your age! I prioritised moving out and felt that should have been a priority for any partner I met too.

You could be ruling out a lot of good guys..A bit narrow minded..35 yes

I was 27 (living in a flat share) when I met my husband and he was 26 living at home. 21 years later we are still together but live in a five bed detached house with two gorgeous kids. Imagine if I had turned my nose up at him because he lived at home!

Living in a grotty overpriced bedsit for the sake of independence when you could live in a large luxury home for minimum rent and save a deposit isn't that smart.
Unless you can afford a one bed flat a lot of people would rather stay with their families. If they have local family with a big enough home of course. I'd say twenty years ago it was more common for people that age to have their own place. The only people I really knew who did were council tenants, or subtenants.

I feel like this could be said about any quality. If someone has a preference there is always someone to whom it is not a deal breaker and an example on why it totally worked out. I don't think this being a deal breaker is anymore outrageous than other deal breakers. And if those who have a £££ by the time they're 25 think op not having her own house is a deal breaker that is fine too.

My sons (and daughter) are early 20s and will likely still be home at 25, but will move out at some point.
They date, drive, and go on holiday with whoever they are seeing. They are saving up. I wouldn’t look down on them, because by 25 they will have enough saved for a small flat bought outright each, in London, do you have that? Maybe they should avoid someone like you then….your choices might be your necessity but a bf in a better position might not want to carry you financially, so you might not be the catch you think you are.

I wouldn't have anything to do with a man who'd been over-parented and not got away, but don't worry - you can tell them a mile off.
Simply continuing to live with your parents if that suits everyone, however, is perfectly reasonable.

Totally agree with this. My frond's 25yo son is a lovely boy with a high earning great career. Buying his own house next year at 26 but you wouldn't date him this year??