Not dating 25 year olds liivng at home?

[itstheocto]

I am nearly 25, would I be unreasonable to refuse to date men still living at home around my age?I have lived by myself since I was 18, surely most men by their mid 20's live elsewhere?

I personally wouldn't have this boundary. The cost of living is insane at the moment, and particularly hard for young people. However, it's entirely up to you who you date.

Yeah moving back in wouldn't bother me, but I would advise against someone who has never lived independently. I'd also advise paying closr attention to their relationship at home. Essentially, don't start a life with someone who still expects to be looked after. You don't want to look after them and you don't want to teach them how to look after themselves.

It's different if you both still live with your parents, you learn together. But one person used to running their own household and one person used to being looked after is going to be difficult.

My DP lived with his parents when I met him. But he had lived independently for over 10 years and had moved across the country with them for a short time and was cooking for his parents, doing housework and doing DIY for them. And when he came to mine he did housework and cooked without being asked. Now he does the same, especially as a father, he's up in the night, changing nappies, rocking a screaming baby after his jabs, sorting through clothes organising new sizing. Becuase he was already used to running a household.

They could be living in some house share though (who can afford to rent a single occupancy?) so when you go and stay with him you have to use a toilet shared by half a dozen of his mates and trying to have sex when his mates are in the house can be worse than at home. I don’t see how renting somewhere outside the home is always better. My son, in his twenties, living at home, has his own living area /bedroom/toilet. His gf much prefers it to his previous uni house share.

My ds is in armed forces & lives on his base. He's a grown man but doesn't have to think about household bills, that's taken care of. Does his own cooking & has military standards of cleaning, washing & ironing. He comes home to our house, pointless him renting anywhere else. Saves up a load of money. Does that make him undateable op? You could be missing out on a good man here!

My SILs both moved abroad and married men who were living outside by age 25. As they were expats too. In contrast I married dh at 22 (he was 25) and we moved back home to live with his mum until we were 26 and 29 respectively when we bought our own flat.

We are all in our 30s now and both SIL are living with their in-laws (including with a toddler in tow). They both moved back to their partners home countries and a big factor was paying private rent all those years which mean they now have to move back home to save.

So all I can say is if you want someone who is truly independent, look at their circumstances more closely. What is the point of getting together with someone who moves out at 21 but then has to move back to their parents at 31 with a kid in tow if the objective was independence. You might be better off dating a 25 year old who is due to move out in 1 to 2 years but has a solid career to sustain living independently.

I wouldn't write off someone purely for living at home. There are lots of red flags for those living independently too - I work with one man whose mum and dad support his rent, do diy/decorating for him, mum cleans regularly, and provides lots of homemade frozen meals. Last week he was talking about going out with parents to help him buy a vacuum as he didn't know what to buy 🤦🏻‍♀️

There could be positive reasons for living at home, such as being financially or career savvy, get to know the person at more than a superficial level before judging.

Yes something like 60 to 70% of 20 somethings get help with rent, usually from parents