Not dating 25 year olds liivng at home?

[itstheocto]

I am nearly 25, would I be unreasonable to refuse to date men still living at home around my age?I have lived by myself since I was 18, surely most men by their mid 20's live elsewhere?

I don't recall her saying she was a home owner at 18?

I left home at 17 to flat share. I later rented a house & eventually bought my house.

i had great parents but I was a teenager who wanted to spread her wings. I was working full time & doing my degree part time.

I had a quick look and this didn't suggest that:

https://www.statista.com/statistics/285330/young-adults-living-with-parents-uk-by-age-and-gender/

Are you worried they'll always be at yours? That they're still being tickled into bed by their mamas? That they didn't make the same priorities as you? You can refuse to date anyone, but it might be worth breaking down for yourself what it is that repels you?

Both our sons left home at 25 , having been away at university and then returned . Both have professional jobs and are now in their thirties . They both got onto the property ladder at 25 / 26 having saved their deposits by not paying rent . So glad their lovely wife / partner didn't think like you OP .

How long ago were you living independently at 18 tho? Ime most 18 yos living alone these days have been pushed out by parents to make room for the other siblings/ due to poor relationships/ because of a step parent.

This.

A 25 yo living with parents playing video games all day not working, definitely a red flag.

A 25 yo working hard, contributing at home, saving for a deposit. A big green flag.

Of course it completely up to you who you date and what works for you. But living independently is very expensive these days, so a 25yo living at home isn’t necessarily a red flag at all.

You can date whoever you like. I'm not aware of any organisation that will force you to date a man who still lives with his mum, but I've been married for 25 years and i may be out of touch.

Apologies it's the census
amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/may/10/number-adults-living-parents-england-wales-up-700000-decade

Oh yeah, to clarify, I don't think it's typical to live alone at 18. For me this was in 2008ish, but I have done the odd month stint at my parent's in between things.

For me, what would matter in a date is a plan. Someone happy at home just drifting along wouldn't be attractive, someone living at home with a clear sense of what they want their future independence to look like would be fine.

You can refuse to date whoever you want to.

I moved out very early.
But I wouldn’t expect others to do the same.

If someone has a nice family home and it’s cheaper than renting alone, then you could say they’re being smart by living with a family member.

I’m sure there will be men who won’t date you because you don’t drive, don’t own your own home, have a child, don’t have a good enough job etc.

Anyone can choose who they do and don’t date.

😁😁😁

Your choice. Which even if not others should be respected.

In 30 years time you'll be back on Mumsnet complaining there were no good men around. Quite a few of the men you are passing over will probably be married and busy being good husbands and good fathers.

That's a ridiculous question my son is 25 still at home can't see him moving out any time soon due to not being able to afford it.

Bit harsh, especially in this climate.

Living at home saving to buy a house (plus being capable of washing, cooking and cleaning) vs using all money to pay rent and having no savings. I know which one I would rather date! If you’ve got your own place you don’t need him to have one too, as long as he takes you out etc and doesn’t become a cocklodger.

It's not that I think you're unreasonable but I look at it in the opposite way to you.

I see someone who is thinking about the longer term by living at home for longer and saving for a future mortgage as far more attractive than the alternative.

You're cutting out a huge number of eligible nice men if you do that.
My son moved out at that age to be with is girlfriend who was also living at home at the time, so they could get a place together.

That article says:

About 30% of 25- to 29-year-olds now live with their parents, and more than one in 10 (11.6%) adult children aged 30 to 34 – up from 8.6% in 2011.

So 70% of 25-29 year olds don't live with their parents and it's not a big deal to only date within that pool

It doesn't make you big and clever op. Maybe a 25yo has parents who are supportive enough that their son is saving to buy a home.

You can decide a dealbreaker for yourself. Some won't date blonds, some won't date dog owners. You can draw the line at someone luvign with their parents. I personally feel the same.

It depends. I lived independently since I was a teenager but met my husband when he was 25 and at home. But he'd been away and come back so not liked he'd never left.
These days especially it's very normal, even on the last decade or so it's become more the norm. Most of these men will save for a mortgage and move on to become independent, successful men, with careers and families.

25 year olds living with their parents might not want to date women in their early 20s who are living in flat shares with no savings, of course.

(I appreciate I don't know your circumstances, so I'm guessing, but it's likely that a lot of your wage would have gone on making ends meet if you've lived independently since 18).

Well if they live in London that's pretty harsh. Rent would be about £1200/month in a shared house. Plus bills. And food. So say £1600/month minimum. So this 25 year old needs to be earning about £25k. But what if they are trying to save to buy? Or help out their family with expenses? Or just don't want to scrimp every month?
I'd say it's quite normal for a 25 to still be at home. If they are working and contributing to the running of the house (not just financially) I wouldn't cross them off the list.
If they are taking advantage and acting like they are still a kid with all meals and laundry done for them and no plans to move out then that's a red flag.