To break with hair stylist over politics?

[momtoboys]

Please try to be kind, because as silly as this sounds I am very upset about this situation.

I am currently in the US and I have been going to the same woman who does my hair for 25 years. Over the years we have become friends but do not really see each other socially (occasionally talk on the phone, text, cook a meal when someone sick). We seem to have made this unspoken agreement that we would not discuss politics both knowing we are on opposite ends of the spectrum in our beliefs. The US has recently had a presidential election and the person elected is a VERY polarizing character. This is the person my hairstylist supports.

I had my hair done last night and it appears that since the election results our silent pact not to discuss politics has expired. She really wanted to talk about how much better the country will be and how smart the president elect is. I asked her to stop and that I didn't think we should discuss it but she kept on and then I went at her both barrels. we played the "well, what about THIS" game for a while each trying to outwit the other to prove our point. We were able to pull ourselves out of a terrible spiral and the last 1/2 hour of the appointment was fine. I hugged her goodbye which I normally don't do and I realized that was because I think that may be the last time I see her. I don't think I can go back. I still enjoy her as a friend but her support for this megalomaniac makes me think less of her. If this is the end do I call her and tell her why or just cancel my next appointment and just move on?

What don't I get? I know the reasons people voted Trump. From the reasons you've given, and from reading your other posts, I know that you and I wouldn't be friends. Our views are too opposed for us to get along. And that's just fine. You're entitled to your opinion and not everyone can be friends...

I think the trouble is that people listen to the mainstream media too much. In my view neither of them are racist.

What happened to not talking about religion or politics?

The funny thing is most of my friends are lefties. So you wouldn’t necessarily know because, unlike this hairdresser, I wouldn’t discuss it with obvious leftists

I am kind of a right-wing NPR type … I actually work in the arts lol

Yes.

@clickclack8 how is that in any way relevant to the thread?

I hate 'previous thread gotchas'

This one is particularly low.

OP it would be very silly to break up with your hairdresser over this. Tens of millions voted for Trump. Are you going to jettison everyone from your life who expresses views you don’t like? If I’d had a vote in the US, I’d have been pretty hesitant over voting for a party/VP who were unable to stop a man who was not all there mentally being president for 4 years. That’s not to say I’m a fan of Trump - but like our politics here, often the choice of leader is bad or very bad.

I wouldn’t pay to be trapped in a seat listening to someone bang on about how great Trump might be, no matter if they were the best hairdresser on the planet. Find someone else.

@momtoboys

well I have no friends who voted Brexit.
i thought if they did we really had nothing in common. So I ditched them

i would think the same of trump voters

ditch her

Yes find another hairdresser. She was unprofessional.

The thing is OP this isn't just a hairdresser, but a friend.

That creates a situation where people will be more open about their thoughts. On both sides, which is likely why both of you went down that road.

Just don't talk about it again. But it's healthy for society to have positive relationships with people across the table from you on politics.

Also - have a little humility. She may be feeling similarly now towards you - finding your thoughts hard to understand.

The Laken Riley case is appalling, hadn't heard of it. It is hard to gauge sometimes how things are in Springfield as some reports say that most are legal immigrants and some of the locals came out in support of the legal immigrants. I do think the misreporting of 'they're eating the dogs' really didn't help that. Surely highlighting the Laken Riley case would have had greater impact???

My question is, while this case is abhorrent, why then vote for someone/republicans who supports the gun lobby, which given the lack of screening of gun owners has led to the deaths of hundreds of innocent children in schools and colleges in particular, not forgetting if course the overall deaths related to gun violence, leaving America one of the worst statistically for gun violence and death. It seems that a simple introduction of something like appropriate screening of gun owners would help prevent future horror outcomes like school shootings. The fact that the gun lobbyists are so against this is baffling.

I think voting in a person who directly negatively impacts the life of millions of people (immigrants and women particularly) and who has committed sexual offenses, was friends with Jeffrey Epstein, is against reproductive rights and body autonomy, etc. is different from having different opinions than me on some topics. I don't want anything to do with anyone who justifies their voting for Trump ("better exonomy" or "better stance on immigration" doesn't come close to make up for his horrible actions and beliefs). They are at best delusional, at worst they condone his actions and words.

Also, how do you exchange ideas, debate, have healthy conversations with people who support someone who spreads lies and conspiracy theories? It's impossible to discuss facts and opinions when someone just replies with pure fabrications and lunacy. "They're eating dogs"?! Come the fuck on!

Why do you put this as either/or? I’m for reasonable firearms control as gun violence is also a big problem in America?

But illegal immigration is really much more simple. There were multiple points where Ibarra should have been detained and deported, but the Biden admin (and local authorities) were remiss in their duties.

and did she sever links? no.

So you are so incredibly close to her that you told her you’d had an affair with a married man for 11 years, and she carried on?

and here you are

I have known about what is happening in Springfield and other Midwestern towns in America. When I tell Americans abroad what is happening (tens of thousands of migrants are being resettled in small towns across America, changing them for the worse), they don’t believe me or are shocked they didn’t hear about it on the news.

Only two things changed that: a boy killed by a Haitian driving recklessly into a school bus and Trump casually dropping that line …

It shouldn’t take sensationalism to get people to understand what is really happening … Trump mentioned eating the cats and suddenly people are questioning wtf 20,000 Haitians are doing in a small Ohio city. They should have done that one year ago tbh

Here you are what, though? OP doesn't object to hairdresser having own political views. She objects to her talking about it in a professional environment. Especially after being asked to stop. OP pays, she has the right to receive a service in a comfortable environment..
If the roles were reversed and the OP was a hairdresser who updated her client on every saucy detail of her affair at every appointment, she would also be dropped like a hot potato.

Maybe, but she is not the one charging for the privilege. Her hairdresser is.

My point is that you are indignant about this case because it was an immigrant, but don't carry your indignation across to something that kills thousands. I get that unregulated immigration is problematic in a number of different ways. The name dropping by trump is disingenuous, he didn't name drop the shooters or the NRA that permits randoms to carry army quality guns that nurser and maim every day i the USA. It isn't a case of either or , I know which one strikes greater fear in me with the greater amount of casualties. When the home grown maniac kills a classroom of children due to unregulated gun control the government endorsing/ covering up and redirecting other issues to divert away from that should never get one vote. This has been an issue for decades and nothing has been done about it because the NRA have so much control. On another point it was Obama who deported the most people due his tenure despite trumps ratcheting up the immigration issue. Deflection at its best/worst.

Leftists were also insufferable during Obama’s time, and literally called him ‘deporter in chief’.

They are unserious people who don’t understand that people respond to incentives. (ie allow unaccompanied children to be released to ‘relatives’ in America and are then somehow shocked that people literally send their kids with coyotes over the border to be housed with strangers just to take advantage of this loophole).

Honestly speaking, if a Democrat promised to deport ten million illegal immigrants and revoke TPS status for other groups, I’d probably vote for them. But they don’t, even when they traditionally were the ones against open borders!!!!