To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

What about someone without children wanting to spend Christmas with their family who don’t live locally so can’t just see their family after work as travel is involved?

As PP said, what about someone who never has children, a terminal illness, a family emergency? Do you expect these people to work every Christmas? That's selfish.

If it's a case of:

Jane has a new baby this is her first Christmas with her new baby

And

Sandra is going to mum and dad's like she does every year

It might be kind for Sandra to let Jane enjoy this magical day with her new baby and next year Jane can cover for Sandra so she can have the day off.

It's about common sense and seeing who has greater need on a year by year basis.

I've worked plenty of Christmases for colleagues and knowing they were having a special day gave me pleasure. Equally, people have worked Christmases for me, one of which was my first Christmas with my firstborn and I will forever be grateful for the memories that afforded me.

There's a name for this. Discrimination.

The Tuesday one is easy, you just say NO you don't work Tuesdays - just say you do something else on that day. They literally can't make you work it SO DONT

The other days the same rules applies, if you have to work one then so does everyone else - so you work ONE

If either of the above are a problem you have to be treated the same as everyone else so you raise a grievance

Not to mention OP would no doubt prefer to be working Christmas day and going home to her baby, than having the day off without a baby to go home to.

People do not appreciate their luck in the "fertility lottery" (as a PP so accurately described it!)

If I had a job that required me to work Christmas Day and miss all the magic of Christmas with my young children I'd just find another job. Hospitality isn't a family friendly position

What is Sandra gets great pleasure from going to to her mum and dad's every year? One situation doesn't trump another.

No they shouldn't have to work every Christmas. But it's unlikely there will be special circumstances for everyone every year.aybe two years in a row, but even that is unlikely.

Next year OP can have Christmas off and my advice to her would be to give this Christmas to her colleagues, enjoy the pleasure that gives them and next year apply for leave in August and explain to her manager she had to work this year so would like next year off.

I’m glad I don’t work in some of the workplaces mentioned on here.

Me too. I would hate to work somewhere like the OP does - where the manager openly said childfree/childless people need to work Christmas and it was just expected of me and I was taken for granted.

So glad that isn’t my reality and as a result I already have goodwill to pick up the slack at Christmas if necessary providing I don’t have travel plans.

You get so much more out of people when you don’t act entitled.

And for those saying “if I didn’t have chidren” I’d give up my Christmases” - that’s all very well and good speaking in hypotheticals but the reality is you do have kids so we don’t actually know what you’d do if you were unable or chose not to have kids ever.

It's not about people without kids missing out. Its about personal circumstance.

Such as the personal circumstances of KNOWING when you applied for the job that you might have to work Christmas?

If I had no kids but my husband had been away in the army for a year and this was our first Christmas together, then I might think it's fair for the colleague with kids to work this one and give me the day off. If they were a nice colleague they might agree.
If I had a terminal illness and this was my last Christmas, then Bob might work this Christmas for me despite having his kids this year and wanting to be with them.

So you insist on giving them a tier, so army beats kids, and terminal illness beats kids. Does army beat terminal illness? See how it's going to end up with someone having to rank reasons?

It does though dosnt it, your babies first Christmas does trump Sandra's day with her parents. Just like if two people have a birthday on the same day and both want it off but only 1 can, one's turning 46 and one's turning 50. Both deserve a day off but one's clearly more of a big deal that's just life.

Fine. If Sandra is happy to enjoy her Christmas knowing her colleague will miss out on her first Christmas with a newborn, crack on. I personally wouldn't enjoy my day knowing I'd caused another person to miss out on their first Christmas with their newborn. Each to their own but I think humanity is sadly less empathic and kind and decent than it used to be..

It might be kind for Sandra to let Jane enjoy this magical day with her new baby and next year Jane can cover for Sandra so she can have the day off.

Except we all know that next year Jane will argue that she needs the day off, because her precious darling child understands it so much more than last year. Then repeat this for the next 15 - 25 years, (depending on how many children she has) because Christmas is all about the Children don't you know. 🙄

Or it might be kind for Jane to let Sandra visit her parents because Sandra has had a tough break up and Christmas is painful for her.

Or Sandra thought this year she would be with a new baby and now she isn’t so it’s super important she travels to go see her parents in Scotland.

Jane will finish her shift and go carry her bundle of joy that Sandra dreams of but can’t/doesn’t have. Jane can celebrate Christmas on any day with her baby who has no idea of the concept !

Maybe when Jane’s baby is old enough to know what Christmas is Sandra can repay the favour.

But what if Sandra’s parents are really old and sick and it’s their last Christmas? Should her colleague not feel guilty for not letting her spend their last Christmas together I mean after all the newborn has plenty more Christmases to come and has no idea it’s even Christmas as a PP said!

What if Sandra knew it was likely to be her last Christmas with one of her parents? After all the newborn will have many more Christmases.

when my DC were small (including the one who was born at the end of December) he worked in a restaurant that was always open on 25th and 26th and he always had to work those days. The whole staff did even when either of those days fell on a Monday when they would normally be closed.

We moved our Christmas day to 27th (unless i had to work in which case we just checked the calendar and picked a day) for years - even the Special Magical Ones between 4 & 9 years old. And... nobody died. Nobody is traumatised for life. We got to eat fishfinger sandwiches and watch daft films on Christmas Day and we still talk about those fun times 20+ years later.

And when you work in an industry that is 24/7 you suck it up, and everyone gets a fair crack at the special days off. And if you don't like that? as @Tessasays : get a different job.

They can easily celebrate on Boxing Day, what exactly will the baby do on Christmas Day? It wont be excited for Santa, opening presents etc. It will be a normal day for the baby.

Sandra's parents will know it's Christmas Day and be very aware if they celebrate on a different date.

Exactly. There’s no way this rotten system would be allowed at my place for this exact reason - the manager sanctioning it would be explaining themselves to HR quicker than you can say employment tribunal.

Perhaps I am being a bit thick here. Probably.
You say:
I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues.

So using that as your working contracted hours you'd be working Christmas and Boxing Day this year. AND New Years Day and thereafter.

In making you work Christmas Eve are you

1. losing the obligation to work CD or BD as an alternate? Or
2. are you basically getting an extra contracted day bolted on without your consent?

In the first option it sounds marginally better to me but should have been discussed.
In the second option it would be a this is not happening event for me. If someone wants CE that badly they can swap for CD or BD whichever is more important to you.

Our place is shut on Christmas day, but we are abroad and most of the team don't have any family local.

I was refused any leave over Christmas (so impossible to see family - on shift until 9 p.m. Christmas Eve, back on at 6 a.m. Boxing Day) for five consecutive years. I missed my DFather's last Christmas. I had to complain to HR to be granted leave the following year to be with my widowed mother, who would otherwise have been alone, and was still only given three days.

It's not on and it's discriminatory. You should definitely complain now, I wish I'd never let it go on so long.

No. It's about colleagues deciding what is kind and decent and fair. I'm pretty sure most decent people would think giving Christmas to their dying colleague trumps having Christmas with their kids which they can do next year instead. It's the kind and right thing to do.

Likewise, I think most single people would rather give the leave to the mum who has a newborn than take their Frist Christmas from them.

It's about being kind and fair and decent, not just saying 'its my right so stuff you all...'

Then judging by what happened at my previous workplace. The youngest turns 12/13 and is clearly old enough to understand that mum has to work, then the oldest child becomes pregnant and they can't possibly miss their first grandchild's first Christmas!

Well that's different. But OP hasn't said this is her last Christmas with her parents. That would be a massive drip feed and change everything.

It seems from the OP that OP has no special reason for wanting to be off this year. I think she should just work this one and make sure she applies for leave in advance and has next year off.