To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

Agreed. Don’t tolerate this nonsense. So glad my Workplace isn’t like that. It never even gets mentioned.

Thanks for the heads up, twats shall be ignored in future.

That's terrible. I'm suprised people are ok with that.

Always hated NYE even as a young 'un.

Expensive and overrated and so much pressure for it be the most Amaaaaaazing night of the year.

SM must make that pressure even more hellish with all the #FeelingBlessed type bollocks.

This really annoys me and I'm a mother. When my DS was small I always did my share of Christmas. I chose to have him and I didn't expect others to supplement it.

I work Christmas now because both my DCs are older and they work. But if anything this entitlement to have Christmas off because people are parents is worse. I once worked Christmas and had the first week of the new year off to go away. Upon my return the rest of the team (all parents) had booked every bank holiday week off between them. I complained and I was told it was first come first served. So make sure you book Christmas off next year in the new year!

I was told recently that it was ok for me to have the first week of the new year off as it was quiet. From someone who is having the full two weeks off! I don't know where people get off.

Just because you put up with a ridiculous policy doesn't mean everyone should have to.

It's totally ridiculous and insensitive to just assume that people won't want to be off at Xmas because they haven't had children.

Holiday approvals aren’t based on the reason you want the time off! There is no difference from someone wanting the time to go on holiday to New York versus someone wanting the time off to do nothing at home. No one has to provide a reason for the time off work

Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off

Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off

Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them.

If I was the colleague of Jane, Jill and Mary I would feel terrible making them work knowing Jane would miss out on this very special first Christmas with her baby, Jill's children have been through such a lot and want to see there mum at Christmas, and she needs to see her children as she didn't have them last year, and poor Mary cannot now visit her family :(

Even though I have kids I'd probably offer to work Christmas if these were my colleagues, so my colleagues could see their children and family. I live near-ish work and my needs are not as great as theirs. I can still see family and children around work. These people really do seem to have good reasons to be off. I really would feel pretty heartless doing anything other than offering to work these shifts for these people.....

This wouldn’t be allowed at my workplace. It’s discriminatory.

And to assume that everyone who doesn’t have kids wants to be out partying on NYE.

This valid reasons idea is a slippery slope from employment law/equitable working conditions POV.

Plus - having kids is a lifestyle choice for most. The decision not to is also a choice. Both are valid but in the context of Christmas time off having kids is no more valid a reason.

So because you worked Christmases in your 20s, OP and others should have to work far more Christmases into their 30s and beyond? How is that fair? How is it "swings and roundabouts" if someone never gets to have children?

You are shockingly insensitive about fertility problems and childlessness.

If you had a colleague with a new baby and his would be their first Christmas together, would you really feel happy having the day off and making them work? I'd feel terrible unless I also had a very very good reason to be off.

There is law and what is legally ok. Then there is ethics and what is ethically ok. It might be legally fair for everyone to have equal rights to be off at Christmas, but morally and ethically most decent people recognise when others have needs greater than their own.

Exactly. I really had no words for this level of insensitivity but you’re spot on. As if not having Christmas off for one decade is the same as someone potentially never having it off ever due to either not wanting kids or not being able to have them.

I used to feel sorry for my foster sons SW. She was the only one at her workplace who didn't have kids. They timetabled her to be the emergency SW every Xmas day for 6 years. The following year she had a baby and was just back from maternity leave and her manager had the nerve to ask if she would do it again as she had just been off for 6 months. She did say no and someone else had to do it.

But it clearly isn't. It is so unfair for someone to be told your child status impacts on days off.

So someone never gets Xmas day dinner with their family because of the fertility lottery!

Honestly there are such ignorant managers out there. Challenge it OP how dare they make such sweeping generalisations.

The thing is because managers or colleagues who are parents in my workplace, don’t act entitled and say insensitive things like that I’d happily work Christmas this year of the choice was between me and someone wanting to spend it with a young child as I have no plans.

Last year I was travelling to visit close friends and family, so I wouldn’t have but this year I could and would.

Again I really don’t think they’re allowed to say things like that nowadays. Everyone should report their managers/workplaces who have these sort of divisive and insensitive policies in place.

Holiday approvals aren’t legally based on need or reason . Everyone has the same rights regardless of the circumstances of their own family life.

If the OP works this year to give those with children time off, what happens if those employees leave and three new employees have the same family circumstances. Is the OP expected to work next year as well?

It's a baby, it doesn't know if it's Christmas Day or Halloween.

😂😂 that’s a very good point!

You say, I’m afraid I won’t be able to work both Christmas Day and Boxing Day, nor will I be able to work on my non-working day.

it is discriminatory for the organisation insist on me working both.

I will leave it with you, please let me know which one I will work.

It's about doing what is decent.

I honestly wouldn't enjoy my Christmas day knowing a newborn baby could not be with her mother for her first Christmas, or that children who couldn't see their mum at Christmas last year won't be able to again this year because of me.

If someone is the kind of person that can live with themself and enjoy Christmas despite the impact on others, then sure they can crack on, raise complaints etc.. it's with their 'rights'.

But I personally prefer to live in a world where we do what is right and decent for others and sometimes that means a little self sacrifice. Humanity has become very selfish sadly.

Wow. That's pretty heartless.

My first Christmas with my baby was one of the most special days I will ever remember.

Sleep in the instance you describe them yes, provided I've not been shafted the last few years (if so, can someone else do it?) with Christmas time off then I would. With an understanding this individual doesn't think think their kids are a passport to never working Christmas again and took their turn.

If it was someone who had this assumption or the situation wasn't being managed properly then I'd challenge.

But it's wrong to assume childless means you don't have priority at Christmas. And I don't agree with your last statement that "but morally and ethically most decent people recognise when others have needs greater than their own." makes this the default.

So someone without children shouldn’t expect to celebrate Christmas Day?