To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

No because it is as important culturally. That isn't the same for other religions. Countries practically shut down, we don't have public transport or typically shops here. It is a national cultural holiday in Ireland.

If I lived in Turkey that shuts down for Eid for 3 days I wouldn’t expect to get that holiday period off every single year because I had children.
I would respect fairness and rotate with others, especially as some people have religious reasons for that very special time.

Whatever your reason for celebrating, children, family, religion or tradition….no one reason trumps the other.
OP is in a situation where, if she is religious, she will completely miss out on the opportunity to go to a Christmas service ( as she is being expected to work both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day ) they dont do the same thing on the next weekend.

Not only should working Christmas be alternated but so should Christmas Eve and consideration should be given to those who want to go to Church. Just as it is for those who need to pray several times a day for their religion.

I have been clearly stating she should have it off. To be quiet honest I don't attach any religious aspect nor did the OP.

Quite frankly Christmas is significantly bigger than its Christian celebration or the Druid celebrations which predated it.

No one has to miss their kids opening presents. My dad worked a 24/7 365 safety job and if he didn’t show up well let’s just say your kids probably wouldn’t see another Christmas (think Chernobyl). We weren’t traumatised at all, if he was day shift we’d get up early, open presents and have dinner at 5 when he got home. If he was night shift we’d wait till he got home at 9am to open our presents then have dinner at 5pm ish. If he was bavk shift and got home at 1am he’d help my mum set up get up for an hour or so when we did, go back to his bed for a few hours and we’d have Christmas lunch before he left at 3pm. He didn’t work every Christmas but he worked several. We never ‘moved Christmas’ and he saw the present opening every year.

Its the actual gall of some people to say ‘I’m more important than you’ in an inclusive work setting the pisses me off. No one’s Christmas is more important than anyone else’s and that’s it! Whether you have kids, cats, elderly relatives etc you are not more important than anyone else and that attitude will see people back off from helping you with any favours.

i have worked Christmas before but now I work in a company where I get the standard bank holidays off (4 as I am in Scotland). I have booked 4 days around them so I finish on Christmas Eve and turn up again on 6th January. A colleague suggested I shouldn’t request holiday as I had it last year and the moral thing was to work year on/year off. Bollocks, in October we submit our preferred days off for Christmas and our managers work with that to see his to accommodate us all. If they can’t we come to an agreement. This year they needed x number of staff over the period and they have exactly x number of staff who don’t want holidays or have no leave left.

It may be my mothers last Christmas at home as she may need residential care next year but that doesn’t trump anyone else, we are all entitled to a FAIR allocation.

Oh go away with your ‘children are the most important things in the world and everybody else should bow down to them’.
I am so sick of being classed as a second class citizen because I have chosen not to reproduce. Childless and child free people still have family and feelings and responsibilities. Why is my entitlement to a nice Christmas morning less important than those with children? What about people who are potentially spending their last Christmas with a loved one? Do they have to step aside for the parents of children so they don’t miss out on those ‘precious years’?

Christmas morning is just as important to everyone who celebrates it. I can think of plenty of adults in my own life who are just as deserving of a nice Christmas morning. People who have cared for other family members all year and dealt with the awful strain that has gone along with it. People who have just lost their wife 3 days ago. Both of these examples from my own life.
So go away.

I worked seven consecutive Christmases because for those years, someone in my team always had a baby or toddler. I finally got last year off - all of my colleagues complained about me to my boss, one went to HR, and the one rota’d on instead called in sick having threatened to do so the entire month before (to guilt trip me).

She’s delighted this year as she’s got it off again and I’m back on.

Which of us is selfish, please?

I work in a hospital. When my kids were younger, I never mentioned my children when discussing Christmas leave. Thankfully people’s family status was not considered by management when arranging the rota. Obviously, unless somebody had a seriously unwell relative, in which case most people would understand.

It makes me furious when people think that workers without children don’t need Christmas off. It makes no sense. Christmas is not just for children; that is just a twee comment made by a certain kind of smug parent.

I remember your story from last year and feeling furious for you. I thought you were going to leave?! I have such feelings of anger against your colleague…

Agree with this completely. I cannot bear such a mindset from some parents. They really exist in such a precious bubble. They get a bad name for all of us parents.

Its not specifically around Christmas but employers can not legally force women to work unsociable hours because of childcare issues

No, and remembering always that childcare isn't an employer's responsibility they can't be forced to employ parents of young children either - at least, not unless they're very stupid around recruitment records

Rightly or not, the explosion in entitlement, "yes buts ..." and "s'not faaaiiirrrs" is leading some to avoid such parents like the plague, and sometimes it's hard to blame them

Edited to add I also recall your post last year, @fitzwilliamdarcy
You might hope there'd be just a little understanding after all you'd given, but no - some don't consider fairness but only what they want, and god help anyone who presumes to say the dreaded word "no"

I think most children are adaptable and flexible and would be happy to celebrate at a different time of day or even a different day if the parents had a positive attitude and embraced it.

This is not about the children. This is about selfish and entitled parents who think they are special because they have procreated.

Yes to all of this! I'm in my late 30s and CFBC but my husband and I host Christmas for our family, including young nieces and nephews. We love making it a magical day for our young family members and enjoy spending time with our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

NYE, however...just another night, typically don't even stay up past midnight.

I would be furious if my employer scheduled me to work every Christmas and off every New Year's on the premise that I don't have children, therefore don't prioritize family and just want to party. That's awful.

Those work places where parents always get Christmas off, does it ever stop? Like when the kids become a certain age then they're considered 'childless' again? Or will this perk continue forever?

And they’re the very same people who will say the childfree are selfish!

Ime, it never stops. It becomes ‘kids home from uni’, ‘kids only around for 24th’, ‘grandchild’s first Xmas’ etc etc

fuck you Mavis, and the sleigh you rode in on. @thiswaypleasethankyou . 🤣🤣That has got next username written all over it!

@thiswaypleasethankyou Actually scratch that, print it on a T shirt and wear it wordless around work. Should get the message across.

If we are going to make these dumb general rules like parents always gets Christmas off then we really should start asking peoples Christmas plans and ask for proof. (No I'm not serious). But imagine a divorced parent who won't have kids that year will get the holidays off cause they're a parent. Or the parent who has a large extended family and their kids would have grandparents, other parent, aunts, uncles and cousins around will get time off. But the childless one has to have their elderly parent or spouse spend holidays alone because they're working. I don't think anything should be this black and white and unfair.

I am job-hunting but struggling to find anything that wouldn’t involve a pay cut or moving to a cheaper area, which I can’t sustain because I’m single and my money doesn’t go far enough as it is.

Believe me, I wish I could leave - these people drive me bananas!

Yeah, I figured. My colleague still always takes half term off. Her kids are 25 and 28. No grand kids. It doesn't really matter in my work cause we always have cover but I'm not suprised that it continues forever. Even if thw children will go to their own in laws for Christmas.

Not in my experience. The first Christmas I worked so a colleague could have it off, the child was 3. He’s now 12 and she’s still demanding (and getting) it off.

My mum works in the NHS and I have family working in care. We often had a 'late' Xmas after mum had done the early shift or we had 'Boxing Day Xmas' if she was on the late shift, once we waited till about 28th to get us altogether for our given everyone's varied work patterns. As a kid it was brilliant, it meant we could eke out the celebrations for as long as possible, Not traumatised because of it.

Do you work in a role where you work Christmas Day?

My inlaws used to take May half term off every year, years (decades) after they'd had school aged children.

I used to laugh about it until this year when we went away in May half term (ds is at university).

And if you do, I take it you stopped taking the day off as soon as your children stopped believing?