To be fed up of having to work Christmas because I don't have children

[boogiewoogie24]

I work in a 24/7 sector so christmas day is a normal working day.

This year we have a new manager and we've been told that apart from christmas day and boxing day, we have to work our normal shifts. Those 2 days, we have to work either christmas or boxing day

I work weds-sun one week and weds-fri the other, so never work Mon and Tues. I've been informed I'm working christmas eve, which is a Tuesday. Of the 3 people who normally work the Tuesday late shift, 2 have very young children so are being allowed to either finish early (normal finish time is 11pm) or just don't have to work. The other person has older kids so is happy to work as normal.
So I've been told I'm working the Tuesday until 11pm. I questioned why when I don't work Tuesdays. Response was "you don't have kids" yeah that'll be because I've had 3 miscarriages over 10 years of trying for a baby.
I'm one of only 3 people who work at my place who don't have children. The other 2 are only in their early 20s so plenty of time for them to have in future. I'm nearly 40.

I'm also having to work both christmas and boxing day because it's Jane's first christmas as a mum so she can have both days off and Jill's got her kids this year and last year they were at their dad's so she can have both days off, and Mary's family are in Scotland (we are south england) so she can have the 2 days off to visit them. No doubt Sue and Karen will go off sick like normal... you get the picture.

I'm rambling I know. But basically I'm being penalised for being unable to have children. It doesn't matter that I find christmas incredibly hard and painful.

Well quite! It doesn’t take much imagination to think of many reasons someone would want to have it off.

But these “Christmas is for the kids” people won’t accept anything other than their own children should be first and foremost, even to people who don’t know them, even without a thanks to the those people who are taking it on, even though they presumably took on a job that requires working Christmas.

Fairness to me means turn about.

Do you do a job that actually requires you to work over the festive period or are have you just decided people without children dont matter as much?
It's all very well saying this is what you would fi when you know you will never have to do it
Also do you think people with out children should always work Xmas?,because whilst their colleagues children won't always be newborns or excited children s ,there will be newer colleagues who also.have newborns and excited children.

This question has been asked many times on this thread, none of the “Christmas is for kids and the childless should work” brigade seem to have an answer to it.

Honestly you should push back. New year is not equivalent to christmas - lots of people couldn't give a shit about new year. People need to take turns.

Absolute bollocks. And I have a child.

I was a HCP for the NHS in a former life and worked in a 24/7 service. This sort of shit simply wouldn't fly because it's blatantly discriminatory, and if any of the managers had tried this then childfree staff would have (quite rightly) gone to their unions and involved HR. So there was a fair system whereby everyone could put in requests but it was made clear you WILL all be working a shift either Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or boxing day. Those who worked Christmas Day the previous year were prioritised for Christmas Day off. We usually worked 12.5 hour shifts but during the Christmas period people could request to do a shorter early/late shift so that meant that even if you were working Christmas Day you could have some time to see family, go to Church if that's your thing etc.

This "give the childfree people NYE, they'll prefer that" bullshit really pisses me off, and I say that as someone with 2 kids. It's fucking offensive to presume that those without children are stuck in some sort of eternal adolescence where all they care about is partying. I've always hated going out on NYE and even before I had kids I used to volunteer to work the night shift on NYE because I was happy to avoid it.

OP, do not put up with this shit. Are you in a union? If so I'd take it up with them.

Not about partying but they can also have a day of just seeing their parents et cetera. It just leaves actual Christmas for the children which I do think is fair especially when you have running care agencies or people that need to be there for people at Christmas time, obviously if you’re very religious as well, maybe.

I understand but I think they try to do it this way at the moment as short care workers. Plus actually there are many that don’t celebrate Christmas so they can swap for the lady writing this post to

Forgot to mention, those saying "call in sick". I've been in the unfortunate position of having to come into work at Christmas (having been given the time off because I worked it the previous year) because someone did this. It was shit. Don't do this, raise it through the proper channels so that the system can be made fairer for all, don't just pass the unfairness onto someone else. Because you can bet that it will be your hardest working, most reliable colleagues who will be drafted in to cover you and not the ones who do the bare minimum all year round.

I once managed someone who thought the fact she had young-ish kids meant that she was entitled to the festive hols she wanted every year (we didn't work Christmas Day or Boxing Day) and the rules didn't apply to her. Despite the fact that many other people in the team also had kids of similar ages, and some were single parents (she was not, and had family locally), and most people wanted to take at least a few days leave. So even if you take out the people with kids / people without kids argument, she basically thought she should have priority over EVERYONE.

We used to operate a 'everyone fill in spreadsheet in Nov with what you'd like, and let's see what we can do' approach, and most people used to work together so that everyone had some time, people's responsibilities and preferences were accommodated where possible, and we had skeleton cover in the office.

Not this woman - every year she used to submit a holiday request on the system months before, and fill in the box where you were basically supposed to add a comment like 'agreed with team' or whatever with a load of guff about her kids only being young once and how she had to be at home to make it magical for them. Every year I would reject it and tell her to wait like everyone else, and every year she would kick off ("but I have CHILDREN, I NEED to be off Christmas week because MAGIC!") and mope about with a face like a fizzog.

However, this is also a woman who decided to study for a qualification totally unconnected to her role, and thought we should give her paid study and exam leave and pay for her study costs. And also thought she should retain full time annual leave entitlement when she went part time.

Some people are just entitled twats. And thick as mince.

They can get up earlier then. Have the magical morning and go to work. Easy.

Complain in email then go to grievance

I'm someone's child. Why shouldn't I see my parents at Christmas?

One situation doesn't trump another.

Well that’s all well and good but my colleagues personal circumstance have fuck all to do with me and I wouldn’t sacrifice my plans because someone else home situation apparently trumps mine

it just needs to be fair and equal if you choose to take a job that you have to work Christmas then that’s on u

I’ve been in both side of the fence with this
and pre kids I used to look after my sisters kids in school holidays and at Christmas travelled to see relatives
all I expected was to be treat fairly and get my fair share of leave over premium periods like everyone else

I don’t think you realise the margins are running a care company and that these employers can’t afford to lose employees and literally some of these parents probably would not want to work and it’s a way of trying to be fair they do try to be fair in some companies they do do that but a lot of the times they do try to do it for the ones with small kids

Except for I don’t know if you know anything about the care agency as a client of carers come to my house I’m telling you now they are literally shortstaffed. They are on the bones of their asses and if Nicer for the ones with kids then that’s how it works. I’m not saying it’s 100% fair but I understand it and if I didn’t have kids, I would understand that.

There, s a difference between choosing to work Xmas because you don't celebrate it or its not that important to you ,then being expected to work Xmas because you don't have children ,when I was a nurse I worked many Xmas, days ,in my experience selfish people remain selfish ,so they expect Xmas off because they have young children, but their attitudes change when there children are not so young and it's now their turn ti work Xmas because other colleagues now have young children
All of sudden their attitude is Xmas is for everyone,.
The only fair way is to take it in turns ,some people might volunteer but it should never be expected.

So an employer doesn’t want to loose employees with children but it’s ok to be unfair to those without children?
Can you imagine the number of grievances which would be raised in these circumstances?

But whyyyy do childless people HAVE 'to leave actual Christmas' for other people's children?

I might OFFER to cover if my good work friend Dave wants to spend Christmas with his young kids, when I know he would do the same for me if it were the other way round, does other favours for me during the year, and that he would never take offence or pressure me if I said no.

But just being EXPECTED to work instead of Mavis, who I don't particularly like, just because she has procreated and I haven't, so that some random children I don't know and couldn't give a shiny shit about can have 'actual Christmas' while my DH spends Christmas Day alone - fuck you Mavis, and the sleigh you rode in on.

🤣🤣🤣

Not convinced by those saying "think of the poor children". I know a lot of people who work in the Emergency Services. Their kids are not traumatised by them working on Christmas day every other year.

If they're on an Early shift they do Christmas dinner and presents in the afternoon (as some families choose to anyway) and if they're on a late then they get up early to see the kids open their presents and maybe the kids are allowed to stay up late to see them after work, which is exciting for them. If they're on a night shift on Christmas Day they have the day with the kids. If they have to work a long shift on Christmas day then they might do Christmas dinner on Christmas eve or boxing day. I have a friend who works in a Nursing Home and when it's her turn to work Christmas day her DH and the kids come in to visit for a couple of hours. The kids hand out cookies they've made to the staff and chat to the residents, who love to see them. They call it "going to visit all our Nans and Grandads" 🤣
They love it. It's called making the best of it, and kids take their lead from adults. If the adults are weeping and wailing about Mum having to work on Christmas day then of course the kids will be upset. If the adults are matter of fact and positive about it the kids are more likely to be too.

Alternatively, if people with kids aren't willing to suck it up and find creative solutions to making Christmas feel special when you have to work part of the time, they can do what I did and look for alternative employment in a service that doesn't run 24/7. Although my reasons were not related to Christmas. Ultimately, I don't think people have any right to accept a job in a 24/7 service and then act shocked if they have to work unsocial hours.

I agree with every word!

I had a Christmas alone when exh got lumbered working last minute and it was miserable.

So you think Employeers should risk losing their Employees that don't have kids, in case they risk losing their Employees that do have kids 🤔

@neverbeenskiing
I have a friend who works in a Nursing Home and when it's her turn to work Christmas day her DH and the kids come in to visit for a couple of hours. The kids hand out cookies they've made to the staff and chat to the residents, who love to see them. They call it "going to visit all our Nans and Grandads" 🤣
They love it. It's called making the best of it, and kids take their lead from adults.

That's so lovely. 😊

(Oh look - turns out us childless people don't actually have hearts of stone.)

@stormee
I think all adults who are Christian should have at least the right every other year to celebrate Christmas and go to church
Would you deny other religions their religious celebration because the world had decided to celebrate it too.