Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

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I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

I mean YANBU to tell her you can't do them, but she's NBU to be annoyed.

You've spent a day indoors and now can't do any activities because of something you did - she's right to be frustrated. She's also paid a lot for a holiday that she now can't enjoy properly!

Yes, tell her to carry on and enjoy herself. Im sure you would if it was the other way around.

Yes, tell her she can go and do them herself. She probbaly feels she can’t do them without you.

Put on suncream, cotton clothes and a hat and go out with your friend. You can do beach walks, watch and encourage the water sports.
Prostrate yourself with apologies or you may lose a friend. This would thoroughly piss me off too, I’m afraid!

where are you that is so hot? desperate for some winter sun!

I’d be pretty pissed off too to be honest. It’s reasonable for her to be angry so just accept that. Maybe make a nice gesture to refund her some of the cost if you can?

… but you put your heath last when you went out without sun protection on the first day.

You’re right she’ll have to do those things by herself. But you’ve really ruined her holiday. Not nice of you.

I would also be really annoyed. Buy a long sleeved swimming top, shorts, and water shoes and join her

Take pain relief, slather on sunscreen, wear a hat and long sleeved cotton shirt - cover all your skin and walk out to watch her sometimes, especially in the evenings and in the morning.

At night you should be able to join in activities.

Keep putting your feet in cold water and lay cold wet towels over your sunburn to take the heat out of it.

How about rather than long walk suggest hiring a car or doing an organised coach tour so you can see some sights while you recover. Also boat trips for snorkeling etc don't involve any walking. Just keep yourself covered up, high factor suncream and a hat and you'll be fine.

Honestly, I'd be pissed off too if I were your friend.

I think her being pissed off is reasonable.

At the same time, you can't do stuff you can't do due to pain.

In her shoes, I'd go and do what I wanted anyway. I wouldn't let you not joining me stop me but I probably wouldn't be booking a holiday with you again.

I know you didn't do it on purpose but you also didn't prevent it from happening so I wouldn't risk it happening again.

You’re going to need to find a way to make this up to her. You have pretty much ruined the holiday and therefore wasted her money. Presumably if she wanted to do all the activities alone she’d have gone on holiday alone.

I'd be pissed off too. Getting sunburnt on your first day was ridiculous, you've got a lot of grovelling to do. You've definitely spoilt the holiday for both of you.

Yes, she can do all the things on her own but it's not the same or as fun as doing them with a friend. She's spent a lot of money on this holiday and probably wouldn't have booked it if she knew she was going to be alone.

Can you offer to treat her to a weekend away in a few months to say sorry? Maybe a city break to Rome or somewhere nice.

Sorry you are suffering but I would be really annoyed too. Not much fun doing stuff alone when you didn't plan to and it's all self inflicted.

We accidentally got a bit of sunburn on one holiday, think it must have been a faulty batch as it was only on specific areas (and DS fortunately used a different bottle as he was fine). We had to change what we'd planned to do so there was more sightseeing indoors, boat trips to other islands, some shopping, a bit more time spent in our apartment. It was annoying but there was nothing else to do but compromise.

In your position I would suggest doing alternative activities while the sunburn is at its worst (sounds far worse than ours tbh) and apologise profusely.

I'd be massively pissed off aswell, having looked forward to this expensive holiday and all the activities, only to have friend ruin it on day 1, then be in their room, then not able to do any activities.

Why did you have to stay in all day yesterday, could you not have covered up in the shade?

I have to ask how you got so burnt though. If you put factor 10 on once and were in and out of the water without reapplying I'd be pissed off. If you were diligent and somehow managed to get burnt I'd have a little
More sympathy.

Well she will probably have to accept going and doing things alone but I think it’s reasonable for her to feel pissed off about it.

I’d probably hide the “my health and comfort is more important” attitude to be honest. If that was true you wouldn’t have let yourself get so badly burnt!

I remember my friend getting badly burnt on holiday and she was miserable for days. It really put a downer on things.

I’m guessing by “I used sun screen” you mean that you applied once in the morning, probably went swimming and got wet and didn’t reapply repeatedly throughout the day.
As long as you keep reapplying, and take some breaks from the sun, you do not get sun burn like you’re describing.

I’d be really pissed off if I was your friend. You’ve ruined her holiday as well as she obviously didn’t want to do this expensive trip alone since she booked it with you, and now she is going to have to do it alone. You’ll have to tell her to go and do all the things she wants to do by herself but if I were you, I’d be apologising profusely and offering to pay for a wee weekend away or something to make up for it a little.

Oh you poor thing, that sounds awful.

Contrary to others, I think she is being a cow. You put on sun cream and you ACCIDENTALLY got burnt. Effectively, you had an accident. If you had tripped over and twisted your ankle, would she still be bitching and whining?

I would absolutely go for a walk on my own etc BUT I do understand doing things like that is difficult for some people. So she can't do things alone (no criticism) and you can't walk (ditto, accident.)

I think you'll heal better if you don't push it, so don't be tempted to join her to appease her. She is being unkind to her friend, who has got hurt. Personally, I thnk we'd all rather be her than you - sunburnt, in pain, upset, having a crap time - and maybe she could think about that. She is not the injured party here, and some kindness and sympathy wouldn't go amiss.

Is it wrong of me to hope she eats a dodgy shrimp....?

Sending cool and healing vibes, and sympathy (especially for having to suffer a grumpy friend, literal insult to injury)

You have kind of ruined the holiday. She can go off and do stuff herself but that’s not the same as enjoying it with a friend.

There’s nothing g you can do now though except look after the sunburn and stay hydrated to help it heal as quickly as possible. Have you spoken to a local pharmacy to see if they can help?

She did use suncream. I bet your in fuerteventura... it's the wind! People chronically burn because of it.
Hope you feel better soon.
It has ruined things for both of you but there are some good suggestions to make sure your friend doesn't miss out and you stay safe.

You could try the canaries, cape verde, Mexico etc

You’re getting lots of lecturing but what you need is solutions to the current situation.

Acknowledge your friend is right to be angry.

Encourage her to do stuff without you.

Do as much as you can even if it hurts a bit.

Buy some clothes, shoes or UV swimwear so you can do some stuff. Accept this is the price you have to pay for your mistake.

Refund some of someone's holiday because you got sunburned?