Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

[tabletopsy]

I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

I'm also very pale, don't tan and use factor 50 suncream.

I would also burn. I know how long I can stay out in the sun for and it's not 30 mins. It's much less. I'm only ever in the sun for as long as it takes me to walk to the shade. I wouldn't go to a hot and sunny country where the plan was to stay in a resort and lie around the pool or walk along the beach etc because I just know I couldn't do it.

I still understand the friend being pissed off. The OP would know her sun limitations as well as I do. She took a chance and it didn't pay off. It's one of those things but still understandable her friend is pissed off.

Going to the toilet? Sleeping? Playing with her phone? Presumably she's not sitting staring at the floor the whole time she's on holiday, and can read/use her phone without her friend thinking it's suspicious!

@GreyCarpet

OP did say that she has sat in the sun for 30 mins with spf50 on before and never burnt.

What a horrible lot you all are! There is something really odd and culturally bound about these responses. I can’t imagine this level of teeth gnashing over a similar issue in the US based websites I read. Maybe we don’t require our vacation friends to be wingman/buddy in the same way?

I understand that vacations are expensive and limited/highly valued but the hysteria about how the friend has lost out on her vacation because OP got sunburned is just bizarre.

OP isn’t asking her friend to cater to her or look after her. She just can’t go out for walks. Can’t the friend manage to tourist on her own?

Buy some flip flops if your shoes are rubbing.

tabletopsy - Are you on any medication? Some medications can cause you to burn more quickly. We discovered this last year when my daughter was on a certain type of antibiotics. We couldn't understand why she was burning when we were so careful. We are also milk bottles & always use factor 50, hat, glasses, long sleeves etc
Hope you feel better soon & can enjoy your holiday

This is very true I took a course of doxycycline (I think it’s called) I got sunburnt whilst wearing SPF on a mildly sunny afternoon in Scotland in October. It does say it causes skin sensitivity to sunlight but I fidnt realise quite how easily I’d burn.

You go on holiday with someone to have fun. It is very lonely to see a beautiful view and not be able to comment on it, nor is it easy to mix into a crowd when everyone else are in pairs.

This. I'd be very annoyed too, a ruined holiday for her as well

As you're in a resort, I'd see if there's an easy way for you to speak to an English speaking doctor / nurse. You won't be the first person to burn in the heat. But burning that severely, that quickly maybe needs medical attention especially for your feet - think about the risk of infection with broken skin. And your friend needs to understand the reality - yes it's annoying, no you didn't do it on purpose and you will be best finding activities you enjoy within the constraints of the sunburn / doing some separate activities.

You should get into the sea. The water is great for healing sunburn 👍🏻

Buy a rash vest and go! Hat and sunnies.

Omg how many people saying they would be pissed off
you didn’t do it on purpose, bless you bad sun burn is horrible, cover yourself completely
do not expose yourself to any more sun
its shit I know …
every body’s skin is different.
do the things u can and f the rest

Op my daughter was in the position of your friend when she went on her first ever foreign holiday that wasn’t with family or school.
Her friend got badly burnt on the first and second days (think black hair/porcelain skin), and spent the rest of the week in the shade.
My daughter just carried on and did the walks/boat trips/wine tastings that they’d planned.
They are still best friends and now that holiday is fondly remembered with a giggle.

You didn’t do this on purpose and you aren’t stopping her from doing anything so she’s no right to be angry with you. Yes it’s not ideal and she might enjoy things more with you doing them too but there’s no guarantee you’d want to do them anyway.

I did this the last time I went on holiday with my parents and my sister. I ended up staying in the room for two days as I could barely walk as I’d burnt my legs quite badly and it felt like they were on fire if I put any weight on my feet. My sister was fuming with me as she wanted to go out drinking and my parents wouldn’t let her go on her own (she was 16 I was 21). Like you I used loads of sun cream but I only need to look at the sun and I burn.
YANBU for not being able to do them if you did put sun cream on but she is NBU for being pissed

Gosh I get that your friend is annoyed as she wanted you both to do things together but surely she can still go and do the things she wants? If not, she’s a bit of a wimp as clearly you haven’t done this on purpose.

i certainly don’t think you needs to take her away to make up for it.

I reckon you've had a bad reaction to the cream exacerbated by the sun, if only 30 minutes. Can happen to anyone. I would get checked out

I got badly burnt years ago across my lower back covered it i live yoghurt for a few hours washed it off and was fine

I don't think it's a cultural thing, more a 'people on MN who love to be cunts and kick OPs when they are down' thing.

I think they get a weird thrill out of it.

Never come to NZ then, it's very easy to get sunburnt here (thin ozone layer, less pollution) - and yet somehow I have never managed to get as badly burnt as the OP claims to be in just 30 minutes. How hot a country is doesn't actually equate to how badly you can burn btw.

I was going to say the same about doxycycline, especially with a winter sun holiday as it’s also used as an anti malarial. My experience was that it made the tops of my feet and back of my hands burn particularly badly, and I know of others who had the same.

You poor soul, it sounds horrible.
In a way you are letting your friend down, but what can you do? You can't turn back the clock and you need time to recover before rushing around in the sun and doing water sports.
Apologise for your mistake, and ask your friend if there's anything you can do to make it up to her. Maybe treat her to a lesson in whatever her favourite sport is so she can meet some like-minded people.
Hope you feel better soon.

Wow , some of these comments... I'm glad you're not MY friends lol!
Whilst I don't understand how you accidentally get sunburnt and agree with your friend being upset, going out into the sun walking or doing watersports is the last place you should be.
Is there a way you can compromise and meet your friend for sunset cocktails and enjoy the restaurants?

Do just take care of your feet. If the sun burn is really bad, and it blisters/raw, then it can be prone to infections.