Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

[tabletopsy]

I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

Honestly, I’m surprised at the number of people who say they would be annoyed with you. Clearly no one sets out to get so horribly sunburnt that they start raining their own holiday. I think two things here. One suggest she goes ahead and do some of these activities on her own. Secondly, you should be alright to do some of these activities as long as it’s early morning or late afternoon and you are covered as much as possible.

Don't be ridiculous - she did not have an accident FFS! tripping over is not forseeable. Burn to the extent the OP describes doesn't come out of nowhere, she would have realized she was getting a bit pink/sore and stayed in the shade.

Sorry but I'd be raging too.

You need to make the best out is a situation now. I presume you were going to spend some days doing stuff and some days chilling reading books by the pool etc? Shift it around so your lazy days are now at the beginning of the holiday and promise your friend you’ll do the watersports etc later in the week. Can’t you have a cocktail day🍹Help with the pain and would cheer you both up 😄

Yes, tell her to carry on and do activities without you.

Are there no busses or excursions out of the resort at all??

Take painkillers (including ibroprufen for the swelling).

I hope you feel better soon and can enjoy your hol.

I've been sunburnt despite regularly applying factor 50, thinking I was sticking to shade and being mindful - it happens!

It's annoying for both of you,but it's just one of those things; definitely rncourage her to do the water activities herself, but for nice long walks you could still join her; just keep covered up, buy a sun umbrella.

Have you bought after sun? One with aloe Vera in would be good, keep applying it every hour.

It'll feel a LOT better in just a day or so!

Sun burn is hideous and I really feel for you as I have to be extremely careful, my sister on the other hand can sunbathe etc and no probs.

i would suggest you get a sun bed in the shade and she can do water sports? My sister did it one as we had been in the sun for ages and I could not risk being in the water for another 45 mins as would have been cremated, she wasn’t annoyed, I wanted to do it but I sat in the shade and watched then went back in the water when the UB rays were lower etc.

take pain killers and be extra careful rest of the time! How bad is the sunburn and how much longer are you there?

Im very sorry you have sunburn and some of the nasty responses you are getting on here . Feet / ankles is awful . Feet up , wet towels , aloe Vera gel ( if skin not broken ) and OTC pain relief. Perhaps you can join in with evening activities instead ?

I go on holiday with friends regularly and shit happens.

My understanding is that OP has burnt the soles of her feet? So walking is painful?

Friend needs to get on and do stuff on her own. It’s the same as if OP had D and V and couldn’t leave the hotel room for a couple of days. Is she a bit wet? Many of us holiday solo.

She needs to dig deep and find her empathy. I hope you feel better soon 💐

@tabletopsy keep soaking your feet in cool water.
Take ibuprofen
Use aloe vera on the sunburn.

You are not responsible for your friends entertainment or happiness. It's unfortunate this has happened but ultimately she now needs to make what she will of the holiday solo. She can choose to go do stuff on her own or not, I wouldn't feel guilty. Lots of people holiday and have fun alone if she lets this spoil her fun it's on her

I just wanted to give you a tip for your sunburn. Get some natural yoghurt and slather it on your burnt bits, leave it until it’s dry ( 10-15 minutes) then rinse off with cool water. It really helps. Take care. x

If friend wanted to do stuff by herself she would go on solo holidays.

Agree with ithers that this level of sunburn is self inflicted nkt some little accident (I say that as someone who burns within 20 min in UK fgs) and x days out of action is annoying for the friend obviously. I would be well annoyed too

Moisturise the fuck out of the sunburn….im not sure if you know this but the quickest way to heal it is to slap it on and then an hour later slap more on….repeat ad infinitum.

Things happen. Instead of being 'pissed off' why doesn't your friends galvanise herself into action and go do what she wants instead of self pitying?! Life goes on regardless and I am sure you did not purposefully set out to get sunburnt.

How on earth did you get so badly sunburned that you can't do anything? I've had severe sunburn in the past but still carried on with life, and I live in a place where it's very easy to burn. Take some pain relief and try and do a few things with your friend, she has every right to feel frustrated.

Thanks all.

I wasn’t completely stupid and only sat out in the sun for 30 minutes after I had put on factor 50. It is very windy so maybe that’s it. Or a dodgy batch of sun cream (?) as someone else mentioned, I’ve now moved to another type too. It’s not like I intended to get burnt.

I will try and do more activities with her and I have said I’m happy to go sit on the beach if she wants to swim etc. then I’ll watch. Hopefully the worst of it has passed too and I can do more towards the end of the holiday.

As much as I would like to make it up to her, I simply cannot afford to reimburse her for the holiday. It also feels a bit extreme for what was a true accident. I will be as apologetic and supportive as I can otherwise and push through some of the pain. I do appreciate that she didn’t choose to come on holiday alone.

If her friend has wanted to holiday alone, she would have!

Poor you, bad sunburn is really painful. Did you fall asleep in the sun by any chance?

as a friend I would feel a bit annoyed but also feel sorry for you missing out all the fun

i would just do things by myself, and spend time with you in the evening but I guess she is not the sort of person who feel comfortable doing things alone?

People who say they would be fuming or demanding money back are silly imo

shit happens, you did not do it on purpose and are in pain, she’s just needs to get on with it instead of sulking and cutting off her nose to spite her face

Sorry, but I'm really struggling to understand how you can be so badly burnt after only 30 minutes in the sun.

Sunburn is awful and as a natural milk bottle myself I have been there a few times in my life. Never intentional just under estimating the strength of the sun mixed with wind and water when SPF 50 only seems to works for 15 minutes.

These days I stay in the shade, covered in water resistant SPF 50 with a hat and I wear (after reading on MN about them) a rash vest. It was a game changer, I can now bob about in the sea for ages without burning and once wet, it keeps me cool when out of the water too.

Any chance you can buy something like that whilst you’re there to make getting about a bit easier? Not sure about the feet though, sorry, I’ve never burnt my feet.

I don’t think she is unreasonable for being annoyed, sunburn is preventable. She was probably looking forward to doing the activities together and not everyone enjoys their own company. You shouldn’t be reimbursing her for anything though!

Get some painkillers, use aloe vera gel kept in the fridge, get some better suncream and apply it regularly, keep any burnt skin covered up and you can still go out or do activities? A few resorts I’ve stayed at have done cooking classes or cocktail making in the middle of the day that are out of the sun.

If she was with you when you got sunburnt, was she reapplying cream more than you? Unless you were telling her you didn’t need it, surely she should have spotted you were at risk and reminded you to reapply or take time in the shade. She will feel frustrated that it’s not the holiday that was envisaged, but shouldn’t be cross with you unless you were going against her advice and then burned.

I use 50 factor and still get burnt - I am very fair, practically a vampire. I wear 100 factor on my face when abroad (too expensive for me to use for whole body)

Aloe Vera! Go to a local chemist, they will have seen this a hundred times and will advise the best. There is a green gel aftersun you can buy with aloe vera in and takes it right down. Aveeno cream is also good for sunburn - something to do with the oats (hospital gave me this for 2nd degree burns caused by sunburn)

Loose fitting cotton clothes, and a hat (again go somewhere local for this if you are in a hot country)

Paracetamol and anti histamine will take down any swelling.

Poor you OP! I’ve been in this situation. Worst sunburn of my life after just 30 mins. I remember I couldn’t sleep for a couple of nights the pain was so bad. I found that having cold baths really helped (it was my shoulders and chest I burned). I didn’t find my friend sympathetic and I just carried on as normal, thankfully I had packed some loose clothes anyway.

I don’t think you need to reimburse her for the trip! It sounds like you’re making an effort to do things with you now, and the pain will likely be subsiding with every passing day. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your holiday!

I wouldn't be pissed off at the OP. She didn't do it on purpose. I'd be a bit pissed off at the situation but that's different.
The friend should,of course, do things on her own.