Sunburnt on holiday and friend frustrated with me

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I am currently on a resort style beach holiday with a friend.

I stupidly got badly sunburnt on the first day, despite applying sun cream. I know I am stupid so please don’t turn this into a lecture on sun protection, I already have a lot of regrets.

It’s still quite painful and red a couple of days later, although I think it’s slowly healing. My feet are the most badly burnt and any significant walking really does hurt. I stayed in the room for a day but now I’m venturing outside to sit covered up in the shade.

My friend is growing increasingly frustrated by me not wanting to do any fun stuff. She wants to go on long beach walks and try out all the water sports activities. I really don’t want to given the pain I’m in and how much of a terrible idea it is for me to go out in the sun again. I am a little upset because this holiday was expensive and I feel like I’ve ruined it for both of us.

AIBU to tell her that she needs to do these activities alone if she wants to do them? I feel bad for abandoning her but I need to put my health and comfort first.

Also if anyone has suggestions for what to do in this scenario, please let me know! Given we’re at a resort, there aren’t many indoor cultural activities (e.g. museums) to fall back on

I'm struggling to see how it can be both an absolute accident with the precautions an adult should be taking knowing their skin type and sun strength AND so bad it requires all this fuss. So my guess is your friend is irritated at you either because you were actually a lot more careless than you're admitting or you're playing on it a little. However if you're determined that's your stance, then I guess you will just have to accept she's going to be annoyed with you.

Why? The worst sunburn of my life was 30 mins in the sun in Cambodia. Lots of countries get very hot and minimal time in the sun is needed to get burned if not careful.

UV does not depend on temper just fyi.

Neither of you are being unreasonable. I don’t blame you for not wanting to go out especially if you are in pain but I don’t blame your friend for being upset either.

Nope. OP clearly says she got burnt despite applying sun cream. First day of the holiday, possibly didn’t realise how hot it actually was.

Rash vest and board shorts for us too in the sun. Relying on sun lotion makes it so easy to get burned by missing bits or not reapplying enough. Obviously you still need some on arms/legs/face but so much more manageable. Clothing and shade seeking is really the best way to avoid sunburn.

Are you sure it is sunburn and not an allergic reaction to the suncream? I got burnt a couple of times using a factor 50 and it turned out it was a reaction and cleared up quickly after antihistamines. Have you put it on since the day you got burnt?

A nurse told me that anti-inflammatory painkillers like ibuprofen can help relieve sunburn so buy some (there is always a pharmacy somewhere nearby in these resorts) and take the maximum dose at regular intervals. Vaseline is good for healing so lather that on the worst areas like your feet. Aloe Vera gel also good for skin healing, if you can get some. Vit C is good for skin so take some or eat citrus fruits.
Sympathies with the sunburn. I just spent a week in an Egyptian resort, I don't lie in the sun but I go snorkelling. I wore a T shirt to prevent my back getting sunburnt but somehow the tops of my thighs got very burnt through the water!

One of the mantra’s on MN is never to rely on someone else to make you happy. Shit happens, her friend is an adult and moaning about it won’t help. This is the start of the holiday and in a couple of days OP will be joining in. Until then are we really saying that a grown woman can’t take responsibility for her own enjoyment ?

Nobody is BU here. You're not being unreasonable by wanting to stay in the shade and if you're in pain you can't do activities obviously, but I also don't think your friend is unreasonable to be annoyed that the plans you had are now messed up and she has to go do things on her own instead of you two being able to do them together and share those memories in years to come. She probably thinks the sunburn could have been prevented. There may be some truth to that, but sometimes the strength of the sun can take you by surprise, you don't realise you needed stronger factor cream, etc. It does happen and it's one of those things, both of you will need to adjust your expectations and allow for each other's frustration/disappointment. Could you take her for a nice meal or a fancy cocktail, is there anything nice you could do that doesn't involve being out in the sun or being very active?

I’d feel bad for a friend who got sunburnt, (which yes can happen quickly, badly and accidentally to pale people in hot countries!) and try to make the best of it for both of us, think most of my friends would do the same. Glad to have the friends I do after reading some of these comments about buying people new holidays or grovelling all week. Hope you feel better soon OP and that your friend finds she can enjoy some of the planned activities without you.

Luckily for MNetters as some of them would cook themselves alive 😂😂

It would be dramatic to say that this would spoil my holiday! If I was away with a sunburnt friend I'd be happy carrying on mostly alone in the day but suppose I would expect company in the evenings. How long is the holiday? You should be ok to sit covered in the shade after a day or so?

When I've been to Cape Verde half the people walk around with serious sun burn, the UV rays are strong and the wind lulls people into a false sense of security!

Exactly. I'd be so annoyed. That said, I'd leave you to it. No use in wasting her holiday too.

Damn it😂 can't edit anymore.
Temperature 🤦

Some harsh responses here OP. Things happen, people make mistakes. Whether it was laying in the sun too long, or drinking too much the night before, or catching cold, it's part of life sometimes and our plans get spoiled. Has she ever done anything wrong? If she's a good friend, she will let this go. No reason why she can't enjoy herself though. Also, if you haven't got them already, get yourself a long-sleeve rash guard tee (they make tights too with UPF), big hat and sunglasses, stay hydrated and stay in the shade during peak hours, lots of aloe gel. You should be feeling better soon, good luck and try to enjoy yourself.

Many years ago I feel asleep under a tree, the sun moved and I got badly burned (and yes, I was wearing sun cream too!). Sometimes shit happens. Anyway, this is going to sound mad, but the locals told me to put slices of tomato on the burns. And it works! OK, once burned nothing will reverse it, but it did reduce the pain and make the situation more tolerable.

Oh gosh mistakes happen especially when you’re not used to a new environment and strong sun. As an Australian, I can tell you that as vigilant as I am with sunblock there’s been times I’ve gotten sunburnt by mistake.

Try get your hands on some aloe Vera and long cold showers if you can tolerate.

Do not expose yourself to more sun as other posters have recommended. Find things you can do together. Organise a spa treatment together as an apology.

Cover up completely - trousers and a cotton shirt. That way you won't get anymore damage,

Don't feel bad, it isn't like you did it on purpose. Can't understand the anger directed at you. If it happened to my friend I would feel sorry for them, help them get lotions and find shady spots, then do anything I really wanted to do alone. There shouldn't be bad feeling.

You didn't mean to get burned, but I'd find the whole "I must protect my health and comfort by sitting indoors all day" schtick annoying.

I'd be covering up, slathering on the creams and painkillers, and trying my best to find ways to enjoy the days together.

The fact that you're just telling her to lump it is probably the annoying thing.

Personally speaking I wouldn't be angry like your friend and a lot of posters here. I don't mind exploring alone and would accept the unfortunate circumstances. I'd cheerfully resign myself to couple of days adventuring solo while your sunburn calmed down. You didn't do it on purpose and these things happen.

I'm not someone who needs company for everything.

Have you every had bad sunburn? I have and I spent a week lying flat on a bed as I was in so much pain. I couldn’t even have a sheet over me. Going out, even in the shade, is going to be even more painful for OP.

As for everyone lecturing her, she knows she made a mistake so I don’t know why you are being so critical of her.

I'm super pale skinned (red head) & my guess is that you & your friend have different skin types & she thrives in the sun

I don't go on beach holidays with friends for this very reason. Mismatch of expectations / needs / desires which can lead to frustration on all sides.

I have travelled extensively in very hot places like Australia, Arizona, Thailand etc with my dh (who tans v easily) but he loves me & is happy to accommodate my need for shade & he actively enables it.

We often split up & do different things - he loves to swim & lie on the beach for an hour so he heads off to do that when I'm mooching around the hotel / apartment getting ready. We meet up after he's had his hit of hot sun & when we're sitting at a cafe / bar / restaurant we'll always make sure I'm under an umbrella & he sits with his head in the shade but his legs in the sun etc

In my experience it's FAR harder to navigate all of this with friends if one of you is a water sport / sun lover & the other is pale & burns easily. So I don't put myself in that position.

Were you using the correct factor sunscreen? And water (sweat) resistant?

I use factor 50 at all times & have never been burnt since I was an early teen & my parents brought us to the beach for the day with NO protection & I fried!

Burnt tops of feet are the worst as all shoes / sandals hurt

Hope you feel better soon op

Keep covered in loose clothing, a hat, move gently and wear a t shirt and leggings/shorts to swim in.
I’m a snorkelling fan and I always wear a t shirt to snorkel in order to protect my back.
If there is any aloe vera anywhere slather that on. It really helps remove the sting.

I get where your pal is coming from, it’s annoying to not have a buddy to do stuff with and she may not feel confident to do some of the stuff solo……

However, no one in their right mind could think you intended to spend your holiday this way. Has there been a suggestion of you reimbursing her? Because that is nuts!?