To find a lost wallet and keep the money inside

[FindersKeepers1]

Today I found a wallet on the floor in ASDA. A decent leather, heavy wallet with credit cards inside etc. I quickly handed it into a security guard who then handed it into customer services. Told DH and he asked if I kept the money inside? He was half joking but said that he would keep the cash as a “finders fee” and that it served the boomer right for dropping their wallet (it was a wallet of an older man)

Tried to talk to him, would he really keep the money he found and he would! Although he then accused me of starting a fight.

Ok, just read your updates and take back the "hope he was joking."
He clearly wasn't and sounds like an absolute arsehole, sorry (a thieving, foul mouthed racist one at that)

Oh it's you.

Jesus what are you doing still being with dick. You deserve someone much better!

I dropped my purse having just taken £500 out of the cash machine to buy Christmas shopping. I realised pretty quickly, I was rushing with the kids etc and somehow managed to drop it not in my bag! I retraced my steps but couldn't see it. I went to security and some lovely person had handed it in. Never got to thank them, but still think about their honesty.

So we'll done for handing it in, in tact.

DP is a charmer (not), how honest is he with you? Does he steal from you too? Hmm... I def couldn't be with a dishonest person.

How about if someone did that to him? So what if it was an older person who dropped it .Your DH will be old someday(if he's fortunate). Of course some people can't empathize with others. It's a sad state the world is in now.

Absolutely not. I still remember someone handing in £10 I dropped in a nightclub 25 years ago! I was so impressed with their honesty and wish I'd got to thank them!

Your husband's attitude is stealing.

I would be tempted to wait until he has a decent amount of cash in his wallet, take out the cash, ring the doorbell and hand his wallet to him and say. Someone just returned your wallet.’ See how he reacts to the finders fee.

My vag would slam shut forever if he were my H.

Haha! Brilliant idea.

Not sure why you need to keep asking him after everything you've said about him. You already know what sort of person he is

I think I must be very naive as I like to think that most people would do the right thing. DH said I’m in the minority and that most people would just pinch it. I disagree and like to think most people are honest.

We talked about morals I said that I’m not perfect but I try my best to be a good, decent, honest person. I will always strive to do the right thing in any situation. He called me a hypocrite but refused to say why he thought that.

I commented on this post earlier in the week to say how I had found a wallet in the snow on Tuesday and returned it to its owner.

Well yesterday, I lost my purse on campus at Uni and some kind soul has just handed it in to reception for me. What goes around comes around.

I’m glad a decent human found my purse and not your husband.

Your DH is using all of that language in front of you as a control mechanism, and just because it’s his car, it doesn’t mean he should subject you to it. Uber would go out of business if their customers had to sit through it.
The wallet business aside, any man who used the language your DH uses hates women. It is that simple. And he’s passing that onto your son.
The whole situation should have you thinking - do I want to spend my life with a dishonest man who clearly disrespects women?
You deserve better.

I’m so glad it was returned to you. I lost my husbands credit card once and returned panicked to the shop and thankfully it was handed in. I have had a purse stolen in uni which I never got back, it’s a horrible feeling.

I’ve told him multiple times that it makes me very uncomfortable but he accuses me of controlling him and controlling what he says. He’s driving so he can say wherever he likes apparently, even in front of the kids 😔

It really is! It was too late to call uni last night when I realised so I’ve been panicking all night. Everything, including cash, is still in there. I hope the person who handed it in left their details so I can thank them.

You sound really lovely OP, you deserve an equally lovely partner.

The question is confusing…it reads ‘AIBU if I keep the money’…and 87% say no! (Currently). I’m guessing they mean yes… ie that she is not the unreasonable party in this scenario (and they are ignoring the original question/title). I wasted my vote 🤣Re: DH. I can only assume it’s a joke on his part, though OP’s reference to ‘half joking’ suggests she knows he means it. Warning signs right there. He’s unethical (hopefully the security guard didn’t have the same outlook). That poor man dropped his wallet and was probably frantic. The fact he uses cash at all suggests to me he’s not Mr Moneybags. Does the OP require validation that she’s not going out of her mind…being with someone dishonest weighs heavy on your ability to trust 😟

I apologise that the question is confusing! 🙈

So he wasn’t with me when I found the wallet and handed it straight in. There’s no thought in it really, that’s just what any decent person would do. It’s hard to say if he was pulling my leg. We returned to ASDA and had a coffee a day later and I pointed out the spot that I found the wallet. He said - “should have kept it” again - was he joking? I constantly doubt myself and his intentions. I have ADHD with autistic traits and struggle with tone etc. But when questioned he could not give me a straight answer, he couldn’t tell me what he would do if he was in that situation? Not if the person was standing right next to him but if they were long gone he wouldn’t answer properly.

Surely it’s a given? You hand it in! You shouldn’t have to think about it.

Your DP sounds like a right piece of shit.

Honestly? I feel you are seeking assurance that you’re not the one in the wrong here…because your husband is making digs, destabilising you. You’re not happy with him but when you’re in a live-in relationship with someone, have a child/children with them, and especially if it’s legally tied by marriage, changing that situation can seem an insurmountable hurdle. I feel this is less about the wallet and more about you wanting validation from others due to the fact you just can’t relate to him or his values. It’s a shame. You do you (ADHD or whatever conditions you have may muddy the waters…is he taking advantage of your vulnerability?), don’t let him change who you are

Interesting that he doesn't hurl insults at people to their faces only from the safety of his car. Not daft is he? Just cowardly as well as deeply dishonest.

@FindersKeepers1

You did what everyone should do!

The definition of theft is [a five part test] Dishonestly - appropriates - property - belonging to another - with the intention to permanently deprive.

Ugh! Just read the bit about him telling you (his wife!) he can do what he likes as it’s ’his’ car!! In what world does a family man tell his wife it’s HIS car? In particular to excuse his unspeakably (well actually, speaking is the problem!) vile behaviour? You really picked a bad ‘un there and it’s important you realise that. Otherwise you’ll let him undermine you. Don’t you have ‘real’ friends or family to confide in? To give you emotional support? Sounds to me like he’s hellbent on turning your son into a macho alpha male too...you’ll be last in the pecking order. Maybe the only way he’ll accept that in law you own half the car too…is if you divorce him. And take your ‘finder’s fee’.

If I lost my purse, I would hope that someone would be honest enough to hand it in, along with its contents and therefore if I find one, I hand it in with everything as it was.
I hate to say this, but I hope your husband loses something and the person finding it is as dishonest as him.