Instead of birthday party my DS (8) asked if we can go to a theme park, just him and his best friend (let's call him Mark) with me, DH and our younger DS (2).
I messaged Mark's dad and asked if he was allowed to come with us, and he replied saying he'd love it and we would sort out the details nearer the time. My son was absolutely delighted as has been going on about it for weeks but last week told me that Mark's dad and younger brother are also going to come. I replied that I hadn't heard anything about that and maybe he'd misunderstood etc.
Then yesterday at school pick up, Mark's dad approaches my DH and says he'd like to come to the theme park and bring the younger brother, he would pay for them both, maybe we could all go in one car and is that ok? My DH felt completely put on the spot because this was in front of the three kids and the younger brother had clearly already been told he could go but he muttered something about speaking to me and needing to check plans 🙄
Am I being unfair to be annoyed with Mark's dad about this? I know from previous play dates that it's a difficult dynamic when it's the 3 of them because the younger one feels left out and this was supposed to be my DS's birthday treat so shouldn't it just be who he wants to invite, not all the hangers on?
I can't shake the feeling that the dad just didn't want to have the slightly harder conversation about why the younger son couldn't come. My DS is now disappointed at having to "share" his birthday and his time with his best friend. Am I being unfair? Any thoughts on how to untangle this without it turning into a big drama?