To ask nursery not to let my child play outside when it’s dark out

[Singlema99]

I collect my child from nursery at about 5pm, often children are playing outside however this time of year it’s almost black outside from 4pm and at home my child knows he can’t play in the garden after dark the same way I wouldn’t take him to the park in the dark.

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

mainly because the message is confusing but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

I really don't think OP is suggesting her child never participates in outside activities while supervised in the dark. There was minimal light in our garden in the winter at night.We could switch on flood lights but there were still areas further away (large garden next to a pitched black field) that weren't suitable for a young child to be left alone.
I think she is tbh. She hadn't talked about the safety aspect, just that her kid is freezing, which is her fault. She also says its a confusing message as she doesn't allow her child to play outside when she's at home
Every child knows there's different rules at different places, whether you are at school,your nans or best friend's house there are different expectations.

Children often have cold extremities, but if their necks are warm, their body heat is good. This kept me sane when I had a young child determined to live in shorts, t-shirt & jumper and hated being bundled up in layers. Active children run hot. They want to feel things with their hands, not through gloves and it's good for their learning; their hand-eye co-ordination, their proprioception, and sensory exoloring of the world.

Playing in a safe nursery garden in the dark is a total non-issue. It is an environment designed for young children, risk assessed and well managed.

We've always gone about our business as usual in the winter months. We walked home from nursery and school, and to/from evening activities. Fortunately the neighbourhood is pretty dozy so it's safe to use the local playground in the dark. We go out on walks for things like stargazing or bat spotting. We go to groups like scouting where there's lots of outdoor activities all year round and the children love the adventures in the dark by torchlight.

There was a thread last night about people's self-imposed curfews in the dark. It's very sad and limiting that a significant minority of women don't go out in the dark, even at functional times like 4pm. It's sensible to consider the environment (I'd rather not run into low branches or trip on roots in a dark, unlit wood), but to have a blanket vetoing on doing anything outside in the dark is not a healthy way to live.

Appropriately supervised outdoor play in the dark is fine and healthy. Children are good at adapting and understanding that different places have different rules, I.e. he can play outside after dark at nursery but not in the park, if that’s something you don’t want to do.

You wouldn’t be at all unreasonable to insist to your son’s nursery that he has to be properly dressed, including hat and gloves.

Of course a young child should be outside supervised in the dark especially when there is adequate lighting. I wouldn't be happy with a 3 yr old playing outside in the dark if I couldn't see them. I still think this is what the OP is referring to, especially if there are areas in the nursery garden where there is poor lighting. There would have to be floodlights throughout & we don't know if that's the case in this Nursery.

I regularly take DD to the part at 5-6pm.

It's my responsibility as per parents to make sure she's dressed appropriately for the colder nights.

YABU, do your job properly and send your child in with appropriate clothing rather than alienating them to be kept inside.

🤣🤣

😂 if you want a childcare regime specific to your needs then get a nanny. Baffled as to why this is an issue.

I really don't think OP is suggesting her child never participates in outside activities while supervised in the dark. There was minimal light in our garden in the winter at night.We could switch on flood lights but there were still areas further away (large garden next to a pitched black field) that weren't suitable for a young child to be left alone.

Of course she is, she’s literally complaining about him being in a supervised nursery garden.

Op not only will the nursery think you’re nuts, but this will not be easy to accommodate. As much as possible nurseries generally get coats on and kids play outside at the end of the day as it’s easier for home time since all the kids are already ready.

Your child will have to learn that there are different rules in different settings, it’s not just the dark garden rule. Kids are adaptable.

😂

I don’t take my 2.5 year old out in dark (yet) mainly because by that time of day we’re on dinner/wind down. But no issue with nursery doing this. Get him outdoors gear. He needs it irrespective of time of day. I think you’d make your little boy quite miserable if all his friends are out to play and he’s got to stay inside. There will be lots of things you do differently to nursery. Kids understand different people places different rules

I don't let my kids in the garden in the dark as it's very poorly lit, has steep steps and I can't see if the foxes have shit on the lawn. I assume none of those are an issue at nursery. My children were always fine with different rules at different places, even when tiny.

*Livinglifetoday · Today 08:26

Of course a young child should be outside supervised in the dark especially when there is adequate lighting. I wouldn't be happy with a 3 yr old playing outside in the dark if I couldn't see them. I still think this is what the OP is referring to, especially if there are areas in the nursery garden where there is poor lighting. There would have to be floodlights throughout & we don't know if that's the case in this Nursery.

Tge Op literally says what the problem is.

1. The child gets cold. Op needs to make sure he has a hat and gloves and possibly a buff Like other parents do. I would also be telling my child, in this situation to have lots of fun playing with their friends.

2 op doesn't allow her child to play out at home in the dark. Thi is fair enough .For this she just tells child that nursery and schools have different rules.
You are just reading things that aren't there.

Where I am, the children wouldn't play outside more than half the year if parents kept them inside in the dark. He's not alone on a dirt road. YABU.

If he gets cold, bring warmer clothes!

Playing in the dark is fun. Being in fresh air is better than being stuck in a germ filled room.

BUT not dressing your kid appropriately isn’t acceptable.
does he have a puddle suit? A snow suit?
they definitely should be telling him to put it on .
and you should be practicing at home to make sure he can.

The message is not confusing.
At nursery you do x, y, z.
and at home...

Teaching them that different situations have different 'rules' is far better for them than trying to control every environment they are in so that it's exactly like you do it at home.

Nursery are doing that so they can tidy up the toys inside while the kids are outside so they can leave on time instead of tidying up after the last kid has left dead on closing time. If they comply with your request they'd have to have a member of staff inside with your child, I would bet they wouldn't have enough staff at that time of evening to facilitate that so it would mean they have to keep all the kids in his class in.
I think you should just ask that they put his hat and gloves on, however surely the garden area is lit if they are going there in the dark? Staff need to be able to see the children all the time they arent complying with guidelines if they are taking kids out where they can't see them. Id not allow my child to be in a nursery where they take children where there isn't enough light to actually supervise, heard too many horror stories on my early years training.

What do you think children have done down the decades? They need to get used to life or else they will end up as hot house flowers. Let him play outside. Tell him to put on his hat and gloves and coat and leave it at that. It toughens them up and gives them a sense of day and night, winter and summer and develops their senses playing in the dark.

My child sometimes goes to a play area outside a community centre with nursery. Once a week I take her to a parent-child group inside the building in. There's another session of the group in the morning sometimes. She understands that when she's with nursery she's not allowed inside the building - only mama takes her inside. Different rules and she's not at all confused.

I'd be more annoyed about the not being wrapped up than playing out in the dark to be honest. Our nursery currently has signs up asking parents to make sure their children have adequate clothes for the weather, scarves, hats etc. Mine would probably take her gloves off herself though so I wouldn't blame them for that, as long as she had her coat and rain dungarees on.

Not necessarily. Maybe the kitchen overlooks the garden so she can see her child easily in the summer while she does whatever she needs!

Honestly? This can’t be real.

YABU I'm afraid.

There's no reason that rules at home have to be the same as the rules at nursery. There might be parents that do let their kids outside at home in the dark. The nursery won't have enough staff to allow both sets of rules.

He may be a little confused at first, but he'll soon get used to the idea that at nursery he can, and at home, he can't.

It might make him extra keen to go to nursery if the home rules don't apply!

It's not like it's 10pm at they're outside unattended with the local foxes ravaging the playground.

YABU and very precious. No the nursery are not going to make a special arrangement because you're too lazy to take your child anywhere in the dark.

Are children like laundry? If you let them get darked on then do spiders come and wipe their willies all over them.

IME children tend to be a bit wired in the evening, after tea, which is why we always took ours outside. Absolutely hated it when the light broke and we had to stay in.
You say your child is happy, that's the most important thing. Send him in with a hat and gloves but don't be surprised if he takes them off. Kids get hot running around.

One of the nicest things you can od with small children is wrap them up and take them out to somewhere dark and look up at the stars.

It is magical being out in the dark. Bonfire night was always one of my favourites as a child because we were all out in the drak and everything looked different, and smelt different.

Don't box your child in.