To ask nursery not to let my child play outside when it’s dark out

[Singlema99]

I collect my child from nursery at about 5pm, often children are playing outside however this time of year it’s almost black outside from 4pm and at home my child knows he can’t play in the garden after dark the same way I wouldn’t take him to the park in the dark.

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

mainly because the message is confusing but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

What if all the other children are outside and he has to stay inside? Being outside is good for kids.

I don’t even think the clothing is an issue. If he’s happy that means he’s probably warm enough. If he was cold he’d go back inside.

Might I suggest getting a copy of The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark?

What do think children in finland, norway, sweden & iceland do in winter when there's little/no daylight? The darkness isn't going to hurt him.

Why can't he play outside in the dark? Genuinely what do you think will happen. My kids woulds dometimes play out in the garden in the early evening at this time of year. We also took them walks most evenings unless it was pouring or too windy. We would often stop at the park on these walks for a quick play. I really don't understand why they can't go out to play in the dark.

Presuming all the kids go out at the same time who exactly do you think will look after your child indoors if all the staff are outdoors with the other children? Do you want them to employ 2 more staff for that hour to sit inside with your child or do you want them to not take any of the kids outside? As a parent with 2 kids in nursery I’d be extremely pissed off if the nursery altered their usual routine because of one child not being allowed outside in the dark 🙄

I took both of my boys (4yrs and 21 months) outside to play in the snow when we got home from nursery this evening, it was around 6:15 when we went out and do you know what? They loved it and no monsters got them or anything.

Our nursery let the toddlers play with real utensils and saucepans. This has led to both my kids practically begging me to play with my kitchen equipment which I won't allow. Yes, they got upset, a few times, but eventually learned it was a nursery game. Not a home game.

(And yes, they had toys of this stuff, but of course that wasn't as fun 🙄)

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

Yes. As nurseries work on a staff to child ratio.

If you ask to keep your son inside he will need a staff member plus X amounts of kids with him too.

It’s good for development to experience the seasons, elements etc.

We used to go for “dark walks” with torches, usually in that nightmare hour between dinner and bath time. It was a great way to tire them out without creating additional mess in the house.

Is it beyond your capability to make sure your child has adequate clothing for being outside? You are being ridiculous - your poor child!

I'm another one who is incredulous that a child can't play out in the dark! I've lived in northern Scandinavia where the sun goes down in November and comes back for half an hour late January.....everyone is out in the dark. Children play out in it all the time, in thick snow for months of the year. There's nothing wrong with playing in the dark.

Make sure your child has proper clothing at nursery and ask them to check he's dressed appropriately. Being outside is so much healthier than staying cooped up indoors. It's perfectly OK to have a different rule about being out in the garden in the evening, your child will understand it may be harder for you to supervise the garden whereas the nursery is differently staffed (or whatever the reason). At nursery age he's also old enough to understand a simple age-appropriate explanation as well.

mainly because the message is confusing

No it isn't. There are many things he'll be able to do at nursery that he doesn't do at home and vice versa.

but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

So raise this with the nursery rather than asking them to ban him from a perfectly healthy pastime.

I assume it's an enclosed garden so a safe space. Although he should be dressed for the weather.

My ds after-school club gives them torches and high Vis jackets to play out. They love it!

If you want childcare that caters to your child alone then get a nanny. A nursery can't just leave your child inside either unattended or disregard ratios because you don't like the dark.

Don’t set your child up for being scared of the dark, you are doing them no favours.

It's threads like this which really make me miss my late DF. He used to enjoy hearing about the bonkers things which cause some MNers such angst!

I think they would have lights on in the nursery garden so he's not playing in the dark.

Any nursery worker will tell you children behave very differently at nursery (eating nicely at the table, napping with no trouble) so don't worry about the not playing in the dark rule. Literally every thing is different from home and kids understand that.

My local playpark is floodlit and you can see parents with young children there right up until 9pm when it closes.

Your child is probably smart enough to understand that different places have different rules. If they get confused then explain that playing in the dark is ok at nursery, because they allow it. It’s not ok at home because you have different rules.

And send the poor kid in with mittens!

Are you afraid of the dark OP?

Surely it's fun?

It’s much better for your child to be out in the dark than inside in brightly artificial lighting. It’s exactly what kids need to wind down and sleep well at night. We go out in the garden with torches in winter in the evening, the kids love it. Especially if we do a little fire pit as well.

So did we! The kids loved it, so much fun being outside “At night”!!

The bogeyman isn't real.

The nursery will not have enough staff for just your child to be inside whilst all the other children are in the garden.

Check with your child that he is not refusing his hat/gloves, or that he is not off running to play whilst the staff are trying to kit out children with hats / gloves etc.

Sorry OP - another who thinks he'll be fine outside, although you're not "unreasonable" to worry about your child and want to take a minute to consider what is best for him.

Even if the nursery could accommodate it though, would you want him being singled out as having to stay inside by himself whilst his friends could go out? Sounds like the "cure" for being cold, would be more damaging than the cold itself.

If his hands and face are cold, no harm will come to him. If his chest or back are cold, you would be more than justified in asking the nursery to make sure he is wrapped up x