To ask nursery not to let my child play outside when it’s dark out

[Singlema99]

I collect my child from nursery at about 5pm, often children are playing outside however this time of year it’s almost black outside from 4pm and at home my child knows he can’t play in the garden after dark the same way I wouldn’t take him to the park in the dark.

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

mainly because the message is confusing but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

If there is some light in the garden, and I am sure there is at the nursery otherwise the staff would not be able to see the children, I can't see anything wrong with them playing there in the dark. They'll have outdoor clothes on too to keep them warm but they will be active, running about.

My son and his friends always played in our back garden when it was dark, they loved it.

What is the problem?

Of course your nursery will be happy to...
Not!
It's a group setting. Not 1:1.
Get your child before it turns dark if it's so important to follow your own rules for playtime

The child won’t get the message though as they’ll see the other children playing outside. No being adequately dressed for the cold is the issue.

Ask them to ensure he is wearing hat and gloves. Do you want him sitting inside on his own whilst his friends are outside? If there are lights i don't see the issue if wrapped up

We used to take ours on torch walks in the dark, they loved it. Surely there are lights in the garden at nursery? and if you don’t have the at home, get some. Outdoor play before bedtime is great for a healthy sleep imo.

I took my near 3 year old to the local park the other evening, around 4.30pm, when it was dark. He absolutely loved it!
Usually nurseries have lights or something so it's not like they can't see the children

This

Just ask that he has his outside clothes on. But it's easier playing with no gloves and hands soon warm up.

My daughter LOVES a nighttime stroll. Takes her torch and tries to look for bats, shines the torch on the trees to see the leaves light up, looks for foxes and hedgehogs in bushes etc.

You said it yourself OP when you pick him up he is very happy but cold. It wouldn't be fair on him of you said he cannot go out after 4 when it would be supervised and presumably enough adequate lighting and safer than home more likely as usually tarmac grounds not uneven grass. He would see other kids and possibly feel sad. In my opinion nothing wrong with it as others have said different rules for different environments is okay and it teaches change. Definitely though I would ask for hat scarf and gloves currently having the same issues with p1 not applying appropriate outwear and sick of constant coughs and colds 🙄

Agree

Unless your child is being sent out to play in a space with no adequate lighting, then I think you aren't just being unreasonable, but slightly ridiculous. As for the gloves and hat, it would be great if he was wearing these, but I found that my youngest hated wearing hats and gloves and generally refused or took them off. It was frustrating, but the relevant part is ... he survived.

My eyes hurt from the pain of reading this.

This nursery sounds good. Getting the children outside is just so important, I know of nurseries where they barely go outside. It's so much fun in the dark, something different for them.. let them crack on ask to wear a hat etc (although some kids just won't wear them). Relax.

Surely it's a safe enclosed nursery garden. He should be wearing warm clothing though if he's outside.

Oh no! Your child will be darked on!

I very much doubt the nursery garden will be as big as a park. It’ll be small, enclosed, and already fully risk-assessed.

Why don't you let your child out after dark?

What on earth do you think is going to happen in what's presumably an enclosed space with lighting and staff supervision? Vampire bat attack or something?

Our dogs still have to be walked of an evening, our other animals still have to be fed and looked after even when it goes dark early. DC are old enough now to go sort the animals by themselves, and it's only a short walk up to where we keep the goats and chickens, but when they were younger I'd take them up, we'd put hi-vis on, head torches, thick socks in their wellies and warm clothing if it was cold. If you're appropriately dressed and have a light source there is literally no issue. He needs to be dressed appropriately of course, but the dark is not the problem here...

Same! We've done evening walks for years with ds, he loves it. Take a torch, look at stars, spot plane lights.

Why don’t you let him play outside in the garden at home when dark? Fit an outdoor light if you don’t have one and let him crack on.

I’d remind them to make sure he’s appropriately dressed if he’s regularly not but that’s it

Gently, you’re being insane.

What an odd way of parenting. It’s winter, so dark early. It’s not like it’s midnight and your child is playing out.

I am forever baffled by the decisions some parents make.

You do realise that through life what ‘rules’ we have at home don’t apply at other life settings? So for example when I work at home it has been known that I work in my pyjamas. At home at don’t expect my children to raise their hands to ask me a question or to go to the toilet.

Children have to learn that society is based on various flexible rules. It is YOUR job to gentle teach your child - this is our rules and this is nursery rules.

Though as a beside why on earth is your child not allowed in the garden in the dark? I’m assuming he’s going with you what dangers are you thinking will lurk out there?

Ok so I'm just going to guess based on OP's name and the fact that she has a child in nursery, that she's a single working parent to maybe a 3yo.

So am I - to older children now - and as soon as I get home it's into cooking/laundry/all the things mode.

So I'm guessing she's too busy to supervise a preschooler in the garden after work, so that's why she has that rule at home. I don't think that is unreasonable.

But OP kids are really adaptable with rules between nursery/childcare/school/home. He's happy - ask them to make sure he's dressed warmly, and let him have fun. And it's fine if you don't want to stand in a freezing dark garden to supervise him at home.