To ask nursery not to let my child play outside when it’s dark out

[Singlema99]

I collect my child from nursery at about 5pm, often children are playing outside however this time of year it’s almost black outside from 4pm and at home my child knows he can’t play in the garden after dark the same way I wouldn’t take him to the park in the dark.

would it be unreasonable to ask the nursery to keep him in from 4pm

mainly because the message is confusing but also often he’s not adequately dressed to be outside not wearing gloves and hat and has been happy but freezing several times picking him up.

Are you concerned about trip hazards?
What is it that you're actually worried about?

I personally do like my kids out, in the dark, we go to well lit places, in the cold, well there's wellies, puddlesuits, or coats, with their gloves and hats.

If others are out then I think it would be upsetting for him to not be able to play too. I'd ask for adjustments to their play to make you feel more comfortable, but I think it's also really important to allow kids all the joy they can get.

I'd be concerned if the lighting was inadequate, dark corners etc or pitched black places a child could hide without being seen. If there were floodlights in the play area & staff could witness their play at all times I'd be fine with it. If not I'd feel the same as you OP. Safety first.

I thought it was just washing which was darked on?

Let him play with all the others outside - he is happy and will be learning something different. Send in extra warm hat and mitts if needed.

I thought it was just washed and wet clothes people were worried about being darked on?!?

If anything I think it's a good thing learning rules are different in different places. As long as he is properly dressed for the weather I can't see a problem.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere with no street lights , we used to walk home from the school bus in the dark, regularly go out with torches on walks, it was great, yea, we may have bumped into the odd cow or pony ! I took my kids to the park after tea in the winter... in the dark... or they'd play in the garden my daughter is now 16 and his off to hang in the park at night with her friends... ...

Funny thread, my son has been walking home in the dark every day and he's only just 2. And my older son has been going for night walks from time to time to explore since he was about 3 I think. All with an adult, but we live in London so it's busy and lit enough even later at night. Maybe in the middle of nowhere we wouldn't.

I do this with my children, they absolutely love it! We wrap up warm, snap some glow sticks, get the torches and head out for half an hour. This time of year there's the added bonus of looking at people's Christmas lights

Middle of nowhere is even better. Little light pollution, the stars are incredible. You need to use a torch to see where you're going, that's part of the fun

Is the whole nursery outside?
if so, then that wont happen as there will not be enough staff to look after him inside

If other ages are inside, then it would mean that he had to be with other age groups, potentially alot younger, whilst his friends all play outside without him
Even then, ratio’s still may not allow him to be in another room.

You are being very unreasonable

Have you seriously never been to the park after 4pm???

Although going out early morning is best:

I love it when the sun has not long rose, its been snowing all night, the snow is untouched and its magical
The kids have the BEST time

When you say he is "freezing" when you pick him up.....is he cold to the touch or actually shivering with blue lips?

If you pick him up in your arms and think "bloody hell you're cold!" but he is otherwise fine, then its simply because your outer body temp is warmer than his (I am guessing that you drive to get him). If he is genuinely shivering and showing signs of a low body temp then that is different, but I suspect that this isnt the case.

Don't worry about him being 'darked on*' but make sure to dress him in appropriate clothes.

*obviously the MN rule of bringing your washing in before it has been darked on (spider's willies) doesn't apply to young children

I don’t think you can dictate something like that to nursery. You’d be looking at a nanny if you want that level of control over your child’s activities.

What's wrong with playing out in the dark?

why are you trying to make him scared of the dark?

Anyway, you're not unreasonable to ask, they need a good laugh, I'd love to hear their creative reply. Shame they can't be honest & just say 'No of course we won't make him stay inside 'because it's dark' 😂😂😂

I agree with you, @Singlema99 . I wouldn't want my kid playing outside in the dark and also without proper outdoor clothing to keep warm. It is just the kind of thing I very much dislike about nurseries. I'd say you don't want your child going out without being properly dressed, and you aren't comfortable with them being out when it's got cold and dark. Talk to the manager. I would. Do it.

YABU.

The nursery knows how to keep children safe and fresh air is good for them.

I took my DC to the park once just as it was getting dark. Never again it was really hard to supervise them properly . Both have severe autism my son was a runner. Ex's brother took his DC to an adventure playground in the dark. His DD walked into a tree got a black eye.

What I'm saying is I don't think they will be taking them outside in the dark. It would be impossible to supervise all the children safely. They will most likely have outside play when it's daylight hours.

Everyone's already said it, but asking your child to stay inside is one of those you will look back and feel embarrassed of asking.

Don't do it, your child will be fine will enjoy the novelty and if not will let you / the nursery know. __

Nursery rooms have ratios. Probably the whole group would be impacted by your child staying inside. Don’t be ‘that’ parent. Ask that he’s dressed appropriately, but it is silly that he has to be inside at 4pm simply because it’s dark. I presume it’s a fenced area. Nursery will have different rules and routines than home.

Delighted to see fellow MNers had the same thoughts as me about spider willies and being darked on.

I think the situation is irrevocable. Throw him away and get a new one. Or you could give him an extra wash in the washing machine and hope for the best. They’re the only possible options.

Oh no….wait….that’s washing. Not children.

Children are perfectly able to differentiate that different people mean different rules.

Please tell me this one of those reverse April fools early/late joke things?

Presumably, if we discount the risk of spiders willies and being 'darked on'... you're worried about what exactly... trip hazards?

I'd assume there is some light, and that the outside space at nursery is, unlike your garden, specifically designed for very small children to run around in safely...

Dark walks were my favourite thing as a little 'un, we used to walk to a friends house and back in the pitch black with Mother and without the torch for most of it as she demonstrated first time how the torch actually reduced your vision in many ways and we'd see more without it.

If clothing is an issue.. well supply appropriate clothing that is easy to get on and off for staff. Being out in the cold actually won't hurt him as long as he's dry and running around, if he's happy then he's happy!

Why? What is the issue with playing outside in the dark?
Appropriate clothing is another issue, but OP just needs to make sure that its provided and ask staff to try to make sure her child wears his hat and gloves (but if he takes them off because he's too warm from running around then that's up to him really, unless its below zero)

OP, you can't ask nursery to keep your child inside, they most likely will not be able to staffing-wise, and it would also be incredibly unfair on your child to separate them from their friends. The end of the day play outside was the most looked forward to part of nursery for both my children, and for half the year it was always in the dark (and cold, as cold as -20 before nursery would keep them inside, grumbling as they'd want to go out)