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Original poster

My fault for DH having a bad day

146 replies

Wowjustwow88 · 19/11/2024 20:39

Dh is going away on Friday for a trip with a mate. He's not the best traveller and as usual has left packing and sorting stuff out to the last minute so is on edge but not sure that's my fault

For context when we go away, I'm the one who sorts out the plans, passports, money etc, I think this is the first time since we have been together (19 years) he has been abroad without me (where as I go abroad for work a lot) I have sorted adaptors, insurance etc for him.

Today he wanted to take youngest to soft play to spend some time with him before he goes. That's fine. I booked it for him. I forgot that the place only takes cash so messaged him just before to tell him. Dh annoyed but it is what it is.

Dh picked youngestbuo from nursery after he finished work (3 ish - I'm still wfh) and the nappies and wipes I'd put in his bag this morning have been used so he rings me (while I'm on a call, which i have to drop off of) moaning no stuff in the bag and when I say oh there was this morning, that's me being defensive

Anyway he nips home (nursery is 1 min car journey away) and I've put together some wipes etc, sarcastic remark about me being able to leave my desk for longer than 10 seconds to help and off they go

Dh then goes to get cash out- machine swallows his card. Apparently my fault for not remembering earlier that he needed cash. Has another card he can use so not the end of the world.

Dh then starts to pack to go away, some of his clothes still on the airer drying. My fault for not being able to dry then quicker and the fact he has to wait another day.

OP posts:
AlertCat · 19/11/2024 20:41

You do seem to be doing an awful lot of organising and generally carrying the mental load for him. Has it always been like this?

Itiswhysofew · 19/11/2024 20:44

He's lucky you do as much as you do. Why should you have to think of everything? He's got a perfectly good brain in his head, I'm sureConfused

Wishicouldnotcare · 19/11/2024 20:44

How on earth is he going to manage when he is away with his pal without you to do everything for him and organise his life?

Livelaughlurgy · 19/11/2024 20:45

You're doing far too much. You shouldn't have booked soft play. Has he been before? Shouldn't have dropped your call. Completely disengage on the packing. Based off this you're doing more than me and I'm a SAHM.

BitterAndTwistedClub · 19/11/2024 20:46

Unfortunately the more you do, the more it becomes your job. When you try to help by packing and organising then your DH just assumes that it is done. He’s never had to do it himself. I’ve learnt this lesson the hard way. Hold back in future and have discussions about sharing the load. But it’s bloody infuriating.

Kaleidoscopic101 · 19/11/2024 20:46

Are you saying he directly said it's your fault for all these things...or is that just your perception, for example from a lot of huffing and puffing? I know if I was in this situation I would be huffy and puffy

neonjumper · 19/11/2024 20:46

I'm watching this because I'm gobsmacked at how awful he is to you !!

Devilsmommy · 19/11/2024 20:47

Bloody hell are you married to a child? How the hell does he get through life if you're not there. I'd be telling him you're not his mommy so he needs to figure shit out himself sharpish

IfYouLook · 19/11/2024 20:47

He’s going away on Friday. It’s Tuesday. Not sure how that is relevant.

Given the amount of spoon feeding you do for him I doubt he’s stressed because he has to hand over all the child related info and tasks for the weekend to you …

Leave him to it.

SapphireOpal · 19/11/2024 20:48

Does it not give you the ick that you have sorted everything for him despite the fact you also work, but he's still pissy about it?

BellissimoGecko · 19/11/2024 20:48

Livelaughlurgy · 19/11/2024 20:45

You're doing far too much. You shouldn't have booked soft play. Has he been before? Shouldn't have dropped your call. Completely disengage on the packing. Based off this you're doing more than me and I'm a SAHM.

This.

Bloody hell, he's an entitled arse. Doesn't he have a brain in his head? You're acting like his personal Secretary!!

Have a serious talk to him about sharing the mental load.

Twat.

UghFletcher · 19/11/2024 20:50

How on earth dod he manage to book to go away when you do so much for him? Does he manage to complete tasks at work without issue?

Tell him to suck it up, he is an adult and therefore can work it out himself

SnowNowMelting · 19/11/2024 20:50

You know that room you use to WFH? Leave your brain in it in the same way your husband’s leaving his at work. He’ll cope amazingly well over the weekend just as he does as an employee. Don’t be taken in by him.

applestewing · 19/11/2024 20:50

Tell him to enjoy his trip, wave him off

Then pack his bags and change the locks, I think you’ll find you’ll be much happier without him

Anotherworrier · 19/11/2024 20:53

I never ever pack a bag for my child when my partner takes him out.

Honestly, some things I read on here are just ridiculous and a lot of the women allow it. Stop sorting all his shit for him.

hailu · 19/11/2024 20:53

He's pathetic. When he gets back you need to tell him to sort himself out. And then stop organizing things like soft play and so on.
If he wants to go to soft play he can go on the website, book it himself and then he'll know it's cash only

Bruisername · 19/11/2024 20:56

So you are doing all his washing and then he’s bitching because the things he wants to take aren’t dry 3 nights before he leaves?

I think you need to spend this weekend thinking about all the stuff you do for him and cutting the list in half

Original poster
Wowjustwow88 · 19/11/2024 20:56

Kaleidoscopic101 · 19/11/2024 20:46

Are you saying he directly said it's your fault for all these things...or is that just your perception, for example from a lot of huffing and puffing? I know if I was in this situation I would be huffy and puffy

The message i got was 'if you'd have told me earlier I would have sorted it so it's your fault for not telling me sooner and forcing me to go to that machine" followed by a conversation of "well if you'd of done more washing sooner rather than working I'd be able to pack tonight instead of tomorrow and I wanted it done tonight"

So directly blaming me

OP posts:
Original poster
Wowjustwow88 · 19/11/2024 20:57

UghFletcher · 19/11/2024 20:50

How on earth dod he manage to book to go away when you do so much for him? Does he manage to complete tasks at work without issue?

Tell him to suck it up, he is an adult and therefore can work it out himself

His mate booked it and he sent the money over

OP posts:
Bruisername · 19/11/2024 20:57

He resents you working - how long have you been back at work?

Gimmeabreak2025 · 19/11/2024 20:58

Stop doing stuff for him

Dollshousedolly · 19/11/2024 20:58

Wowjustwow88 · 19/11/2024 20:56

The message i got was 'if you'd have told me earlier I would have sorted it so it's your fault for not telling me sooner and forcing me to go to that machine" followed by a conversation of "well if you'd of done more washing sooner rather than working I'd be able to pack tonight instead of tomorrow and I wanted it done tonight"

So directly blaming me

Show quote history

I wouldn’t launder anything for him any more.

Kaleidoscopic101 · 19/11/2024 20:58

Wowjustwow88 · 19/11/2024 20:56

The message i got was 'if you'd have told me earlier I would have sorted it so it's your fault for not telling me sooner and forcing me to go to that machine" followed by a conversation of "well if you'd of done more washing sooner rather than working I'd be able to pack tonight instead of tomorrow and I wanted it done tonight"

So directly blaming me

Show quote history

Ah in that case...Sheesh. I would not be impressed!

Olika · 19/11/2024 20:59

Your DH needs more looking after than your kid by the sound of it. Stop babysitting him, he is a grown man he can take care of himself.

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