Husband picking au pair up from airport

[Wanttokeepmyprivacy]

Husband did the 3 hour round trip this eve as au pair went home for a few days. I am going through cancer treatment and I had another operation on Friday, discharged yesterday. Husband is a wonderful man but I know he is knackered. Au pair is a 21 year old stunner who is also a really lovely girl but I can’t help think she is young and fit and can make her own way from the airport and it’s not late at night. And my hubby could have spent the evening looking after me and the kids, or even relaxing rather than be a taxi driver for her. AIBU?

I haven't used childcare yet as I don't have kids yet, but if I ever used a nanny , I'd get an old mature nanny for her experience .

Absolutely! All these pathetic posters who seem to equate attractive female = loose morals!

Maybe - just maybe - a journey in the car at least one way, alone, gave your DH a small boost, to play the music loud and step away from the reality of what you are going through as a family.

Feel better soon OP, sending positive vibes your way.

Are attractive people not worthy of having jobs? 🙄

I have children, friends and family I would go to the ends of the earth for, but we live in London and send an AddisonLee or a taxi for airport collections and drop-offs. Did the same in our au pair days. I do not consider airport collections acts of love and devotion.

Sorry you're having a rough time, @Wanttokeepmyprivacy. Hope your recovery goes well.

Why? What trouble is this young woman 'asking for'?
That's a scary rape apologist view point.

It could very likely just be as posters have suggested that he would welcome the break anyway, as well as wanting to help her. I can imagine that myself.

If he had romantic feelings for her wouldn’t he dissemble by not doing anything so openly?

I think you have been through a lot and are vulnerable. Please try not to worry.

Agree op, a nanny would really offer more than an au pair. I can't imagine why he would choose to do such a journey. How were they when they got back ?

I think your husband should automatically be picking you up from treatments. I can see why it would sting he went out of his way for her. It’ll feel more hurtful when you aren’t feeling physically the best and she’s beautiful and young. It’s bound to make you feel insecure.
I wish you the very best for a full recovery op

What? Whats rape got to do with anything. You made quite a jump there.

No I mean I wouldn't have another woman living under my roof at all.

I don't think it's a natural and healthy set up.

Im thinking of all the celebrities who had affairs with their nannies.

If I used childcare, I would use a nursery, or a live - out childminder.

Did you say “let’s pay for a taxi instead, I’d prefer it if you were here”?

@Lisanoonan what 'trouble' is being asked for then?
-the young girl and the dh are suddenly attracted to each other and have an affair

• the young girl is uncontrollably attracted to the dh and jumps him
• the dh is uncontrollably attracted to the young girl and jumps her?

I think the poster meant ‘trouble’ for the OP, as in them having an affair, not the DH raping her?!

It would annoy me as well op. Was there discussion about it, were you given the opportunity to ask him to stay at home and send a taxi instead?

As for your update where you don't ask him to drive you to appointments, is this something you've decided yourself so he can focus on his work, or something he's told you he needs?
Because I'm just wondering if you're missing out on being supported, and your DH is missing out on a way to support you.

I meant it leads to potential trouble like this.

Having a woman living in the house all the time, and being round the husband all the time, leads to temptation . Familiarity breeds temptation.

I read sharon osbournes book recently. As sharon osbourne wisely said in her book :

"the hardest part of trying to find a good nanny, was trying to find a nanny that didn't try to fuck Ozzy in the house. "

Isn't it my choice what I do? I don't want an au pair in the house, and i would never have an au pair in the house.

It may suit other people

Mine too!

Well no more of a jump than thinking some young girl wants to fuck her husband, just because she's pretty! Both bonkers irrational!

I've a feeling it was more a case of finding a nanny who Ozzy didn't try to fuck.

She’s young and attractive public transport can be dangerous for young women.

Do you not care about her safety outside of your home and being your employee.

Just because she young and attractive doesn’t mean she wants older men pawing at her, she’s probably more interested in boys her own age.

In fact, my friend still goes on about how her parents never cared enough to pick her up in the dark but that she'll never forget my Dad's kindness in giving her a lift home when he picked me up.

I think you may be blaming the au pair for using up your husband's time, which is totally understandable, but she probably just hasn't realised. She's 21 and unless she's dealt with serious illness personally, she's probably a bit naive and clueless. I know the Mumsnet view is that as soon as we hit 18 we should all be fully formed, perfect adults but I think we were all a bit selfish and unaware at that age. Give her a break and mention to your husband that you need him at home as much as possible. Be kind to yourself, what you're going through is not easy ❤️

Did you have the conversation to say this? Sorry for what you’re going through?

A lot of dads would. They’d feel it was their duty. He may feel he is in loco parentis. Au pairs are supposed to be treated as part of the family.

The post I was responding to was not the op...

I hope you feel better soon OP