How to handle this competitive mum in reception

[bloomsburys]

She's always wanting to know how everyone's child is doing and then says her child is always miles ahead already- so if the kids are just starting to read- hers is already reading novels. That kind of vibe.

She talks a lot about how the teachers say her child is very bright and the perfect student.

It's really annoying.

I avoid her as much as I can, but she is always coming up to me and talking about this stuff. I never really engage but she just goes on and on.

I wish she'd just never speak to me again tbh. But she's always coming up and pulling this rubbish chat out.

How do I just shut her down, once and for all, without being rude ?

When people speak to me like that, I look beyond them to behind where they are standing. Then I look at my watch. Then I look behind me. Check my 'phone etc. Just be unavailable. She'll soon get the message that she has no audience.

Why though? If she's an awful person to be around, don't be around her. Let's stop telling women that they are responsible for other women. Men don't tolerate that bullshit.

Just move on and leave her to it.

You could say that the school want to do tests on your child as they feel she may be gifted. However, you don't want them to do so as you don't want her to stand out from the rest of the children!

That's just brilliant

@yabbadabbadonot hahahaaa Thankyou for this I’m pinching it for future

Recently I was given info about my inner self.. Some mumbo jumbo scam that costs people to part with hard earned cash.... I met her in passing no cash handed over. She waffled on and I stared right at her and asked her what do I do with that information?! I suggest you ask the dm just that. Then walk off while she ponders your question..

I had something similar on the mums whatsapp
one of the dads was the DJ for the upcoming school disco and asked if there were any requests (these kids are 8/9) one of them tongue in cheek said how their child liked a dr hook song they played in the car and could they have that (tongue in cheek) which started a barrage of people saying could their child have all array of retro and 80s etc songs that no child would like and were blatantly just being put to appear different.
i just said can my child have happy by pharell like a normal child.
it was so weird and cringe.

This.

And do not volunteer any info about your child. If she asks just say "I don't know, I haven't asked, it's Reception year not University"

I've worked in a few care homes, and loved the residents , but one always stands out, she was always telling people her advice that If someone is basically talking shite ,( not her exact words lol) but just answer them with; Really?

My Youngest on the other hand was quite good at doing the competitive talk himself lol and can see him being the competitive Dad one day. He actually had a teacher believe he'd been back - packing in North Korea, she questioned me at parents evening, this was year 7 at time 🤣🤣 very vivid imagination

Brilliant!

Be rude.
she is obviously an insecure twat…

Make friends with other mums and talk to them instead?

Hyperlexia (very advanced reading) is an autistic trait. I imagine mum is struggling at home in many other ways and is trying to cling desperately to the positives. I would also guess she has undiagnosed neuro divergent traits herself.
Smile and nod, smile and nod.

Do it the Mrs Brown way with a "That's nice" (Indirect F*ck off). It needs to be said in a patronising tone, pat her on the head/arm, smile&nod, walk away.

Frankly I’ve got to the point now where I realise that even your children’s friends mum that you chat to in the playground aren’t actually friends…. You don’t even like this woman so frankly I wouldn’t be concerned with whether I was rude to her or not…. When she asked me about my child I would just tell her that frankly your child’s progress was non of her business and her child being the next Einstein was if no interest to you!… then just walk away!!

Simple but effective

Smile, tilt your head and say “ODFOD”.

I was reading fluently at the age of 2 and autism runs in the family. My ds has been diagnosed (though he was a very late reader) and sometimes I feel I should ask for a referral. I'm 60 next year so probably wouldn't change my life so not worth it. All 4 of my dc have been labelled eccentric, as was I, and have various sensory issues.

I have a group chat with my 2 friends, every parents evening they used to plaster on there how their children were brightest in the class (would a teacher even say that?!) and how they’re working at greater depth etc…. This went on all through infants and juniors… I used to just say oh that’s great!… and say ‘DD is where she needs to be & im happy with that!’…
They then applied for seniors and chose based on their children being high achievers so wanted the school that achieved highly… I chose the school that had half the students and had a
good pastoral set up… 3 years on one of the friends now has 2 children who are barely coping with school and is being threatened with court because their attendance is below 50%… her brainiacs have gone from supposedly top of the class to now needing extra help just to catch up because they’re about 2 years behind!!…. The other friend in the chat, hee child is still achieving high, but is having to spend every minute of their time studying to keep their position of brainiac in school… as a result has severe mental health issues, an eating disorder and several suicide attempts under their belt and self harms almost daily! But at least they’ll leave school with 12 top grades in gcse!! (Sarcasm)….
My DD is still achieving targets, probably round about or just above average, she’s happy, healthy and knows what she wants to do when she leaves school…. She does sports, enjoys nature, has a great relationship with me still, is kind and polite, teachers all like her because she’s keen to learn and polite….
Being intelligent isn’t the most important thing in life!!
Again I have a friend, she’s of a different culture to me, education is prioritised in their culture, lots of pressure to do well and even attend extra lessons on weekends, she took all her GCSE’s a year early and got top marks… then had her first nervous breakdown and attempted suicide!
So now when parents brag about how well their child is doing I just remember how most of the most intelligent kids I went to school with work in tesco now… while some of the more average students went into college and university and have wonderful careers now. In fact the only millionaire from our school year was very average at school, now owns his own business and his secretary was the brightest girl in our year! The brightest boy used to deliver my post … Funny how things turn out! (And I’m by no means putting down working in tesco/ being a post man… but just saying the people you think will be barristers or air pilots at school don’t always do so well)

@T1Dmama I think you paint a very bleak picture! I was considered very bright at school but haven't amounted to much. I suspect I'm on the spectrum but I'm almost 60 and my parents like a lot of British parents always downplayed my intelligence and were very careful not to praise me generally. I did go to university but sort of drifted.
Anyway my 4dc are all exceptionally bright and I followed my parents' example in lots of ways so certainly no boasting or over praising. And of course intelligence isn't everything, I would much rather they were happy then came top in everything. My exdh is fixated on test results, exams etc and I was only laughing yesterday with dd2 about her maths' teachers face at parents evening probably around y11 when she gave us dd2's latest test result. She told us dd2 had got 99% and exdh started going on about where she'd lost the 1%!! The teacher wasn't sure if he was joking- and neither were we.

@T1Dmama children were brightest in the class (would a teacher even say that?!) and how they’re working at greater depth etc….

Teachers have said many things about my 4dc (dd3 is in y12) - one even called ds, who is autistic, God's gift to the world when he was in y6. I was told by more than one teacher, on more than one occasion, that they would love a whole class of children like ds. I've also been told that dd3 is an inspiration to her teachers with her work ethic etc. Another told me they expected to see dd2's name in lights. And surely at parents' evening the teacher would say at what level your child was working at. Greater depth was only a thing with my youngest but it was definitely mentioned.