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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need a hand hold -Part 3

993 replies

Imbluedalale · 16/11/2024 20:16

Episode 15 Hello GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

OP posts:
Thread gallery
70
Munchyseeds2 · 18/11/2024 10:25

Woohoo go girl!! Xx

Nottogetapenny · 18/11/2024 10:34

🔑 🏠 🥄 🥄🥄’s 😘

RaspberryBeretxx · 18/11/2024 10:51

I’m back in the land of WiFi and phone signal! I came straight home purely to catch up on this thread and say a massive massive HAPPY HOUSE DAY Laura! 🏡🏡🏡🏡. Super excited for you 💐💐💕💕💕😍😆😆.

That’s such a beautiful song you posted Laura. I was so sad reading your MH team observations. You’ve been through far far more than anyone should ever have to and deserve every bit of help and support to get back on your feet. Accept all of the help you can. It exists for a reason. I can feel the control your ex had over your life, your family and friends slipping away. I know it’ll take a long time to fully undo all the damage (or patch it like the beautiful pots glued back together - can’t remember the name!) but you have all of us, your parents, your children and MH team all willing you on and rooting for you.

I’m so happy for you that your eldest misses you and was going to see you yesterday (even if he was hungover in the end, we’ve all been there as 19 year olds!). Hopefully he will come with his sister to see the new house soon. I’m also so happy that your parents are being amazing! Enjoy the shopping. I’m also so pleased you’ll have your bed all set up to sleep in later.

Sending you lots of luck and vibes for the school situation. They will surely get it and have dealt with similar situations before 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞.

Hello to all the spoonies, im loving the book launch outfits 👌😆.

Apolloneuro · 18/11/2024 11:23

Bloody hell laura, that song’s got me going today. I need that message today.

I’d hazard a guess that a lot of us spoonies know hard times, as I think that’s generally what makes people empathetic.

We are so proud of you my darling. Can’t wait to hear more news later xxx

CookiePookie · 18/11/2024 11:37

Oh all of the very best of good luck today, choosing your home bits and slippers, getting the keys and popping The Queen of all Spoons in her own drawer. You deserve so much joy. Maybe you can get yourself a lovely spoon keychain for your home keys. Have the most wonderful moving in day!

Need a hand hold -Part 3
Giraffe888 · 18/11/2024 11:40

@Imbluedalale and @nornironlady Tuesday is a good day to go on holiday isn’t it, I’ll always think of each day described how Laura did early on in these threads now 😂

we’re going to fuerteventura and it’s my children’s first time abroad so they are buzzing with excitement. We were setting off early hours tomorrow morning but because of the heavy snow forecast we’ve booked a hotel for tonight near the airport so we’re setting off this afternoon instead xxx

Munchyseeds2 · 18/11/2024 11:53

@Giraffe888 have a fantastic time
I'm only (a little bit) jealous 😂

ChoccieCornflake · 18/11/2024 11:53

HAPPY HOUSE DAY you absolute wonderful, superstar of a woman!! You deserve this, and all good things, always!!

I am crying here at that clinical report, and at how far you have come. I hope you are starting to realise just how incredible you are, and how strong you are. You are awesome, and the absolute best role model your kids could ever have.

🥄🌷💕

workingholiday · 18/11/2024 11:58

You are truly amazing Laura. Thank you for sharing that report. Your decency shines through in that even when you were feeling at your most desperate. You so deserve this house - I hope you love it and I wish you and your children many happy years in your new home.
Also thank you for these threads that have given lovely people an opportunity to show such much compassion and kindness in what seems a mean and scary world.

Adhdday · 18/11/2024 13:10

It’s @Ruralretreating here - forgot my personal phone (ran out of adhd meds!) so had to use a different account to log in as I could not miss wishing you well today @Imbluedalale ! Congratulations on moving day and this exciting new start.

Adhdday · 18/11/2024 13:11

Also wanted to check what happened re school?

TealPoet · 18/11/2024 13:20

RaspberryBeretxx · 18/11/2024 10:51

I’m back in the land of WiFi and phone signal! I came straight home purely to catch up on this thread and say a massive massive HAPPY HOUSE DAY Laura! 🏡🏡🏡🏡. Super excited for you 💐💐💕💕💕😍😆😆.

That’s such a beautiful song you posted Laura. I was so sad reading your MH team observations. You’ve been through far far more than anyone should ever have to and deserve every bit of help and support to get back on your feet. Accept all of the help you can. It exists for a reason. I can feel the control your ex had over your life, your family and friends slipping away. I know it’ll take a long time to fully undo all the damage (or patch it like the beautiful pots glued back together - can’t remember the name!) but you have all of us, your parents, your children and MH team all willing you on and rooting for you.

I’m so happy for you that your eldest misses you and was going to see you yesterday (even if he was hungover in the end, we’ve all been there as 19 year olds!). Hopefully he will come with his sister to see the new house soon. I’m also so happy that your parents are being amazing! Enjoy the shopping. I’m also so pleased you’ll have your bed all set up to sleep in later.

Sending you lots of luck and vibes for the school situation. They will surely get it and have dealt with similar situations before 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞.

Hello to all the spoonies, im loving the book launch outfits 👌😆.

Kintsugi :) repaired with gold, more precious than before, and proves it’s loved. It’s a lovely thought for today!

RaspberryBeretxx · 18/11/2024 13:28

TealPoet · 18/11/2024 13:20

Kintsugi :) repaired with gold, more precious than before, and proves it’s loved. It’s a lovely thought for today!

That’s the one! I knew it began with Kit- 🤣. It’s so lovely, I’d really like a bowl 💕

BeNavyCrab · 18/11/2024 16:40

Hi everyone, and Happy New House Day Laura! It's finally a reality and you are moving in.

Not such a good day for me, I'm bed bound again and coming down with the nasty cold/cough my husband is getting over.

Lovely to hear there's some SEN Mums here too. @Ruralretreating and @RaspberryBeretxx I've got two lovely young adults and know the fight you have to go through both with school and life in general. My youngest is at uni and it's pretty full on trying to support her at the moment. She's finding it tough being an adult and dealing with things that she'd normally have support for. She's also got major sensory sensitivities.

I agree with others that it's the outcome that's important Laura.@Imbluedalale It's really important that they know that you are fighting for the future education of your kids and that you are concerned about them slipping through the cracks, like your ex's family have done with their kids. It is hard thinking about the teachers judgement about you but I bet they are much more likely to have admiration for you, like we do.

Here's a funny story for you. We were due to go to a parents evening at secondary school with our son's tutor. There were some important things that we wanted to talk about, as my son has hearing issues and short term memory deficit. We had been trying to address things via email but got no response whatsoever.

When we got there, it was the first time meeting the tutor, who seemed overly solicitous and nervous. The meeting went well, we had been able to explain the problems and we had agreed on an action plan.
Driving home again, I was discussing with my husband about how the tutor was nice, supportive and willing to make changes. Quite different than the person who hadn't responded to any emails etc. I also said that he'd initially seemed quite worried.
My son piped up in the back of the car and said "That's because he knew he was in trouble". I asked him what he meant. It turns out that our son had heard us discussing the meeting and that we weren't happy with getting not response to emails. He went into tutor time and announced, "You better be careful because my Mum is going to come and tell you off. You are a rubbish tutor and they are angry with you" 😬😂😂

To be fair he wasn't wrong, but it wasn't the way we would have wanted to express ourselves or the first impression I wanted to make.😭

The tutor wasn't quite as bad as first it seemed, he was new to the role so didn't know what was expected of him and had actually made some changes based on our emails. He just hadn't let us know that he had.

ChoccieCornflake · 18/11/2024 16:46

I'm sorry @BeNavyCrab that you're unwell - take things easy and I hope you feel better soon.

That story about your son is fab! Maybe not the approach you would have chosen, but as it worked, all's good! 😀

Apolloneuro · 18/11/2024 17:28

Oh @BeNavyCrab brilliant story. Sorry you’re poorly. Do you have a chronic illness, if that’s not too personal. I’ve had Long Covid since 2020. Xxx

BeNavyCrab · 18/11/2024 18:27

@Apolloneuro Yes, I have disability that causes chronic severe pain and requires me to use a wheelchair. It happened during the birth of my son when I was 28, so was a massive shock. I'm also diabetic and now suffering from the aftermath of having sepsis that turned into septic shock. However so many people don't survive sepsis and you wouldn't have bet on me to do so. So I still feel fortunate to be here and have a lovely family too.

We've got a few close friends who have long COVID, it's such a horrible thing and can leave life altering symptoms too. How is it affecting you? It's tough to stay positive and upbeat when you have a long term condition, isn't it.

Adhdday · 18/11/2024 18:46

That’s so funny @BeNavyCrab , got to love a bit of “tell it like it is” from children 😂

Apolloneuro · 18/11/2024 19:15

@BeNavyCrab you have been in the wars. I’m so sorry to hear this. For me, I’m lucky that I was mid 50s when the pandemic started. I feel so sorry for young people with Long Covid.

I do ok and am better than I was a year ago. I’m lucky that I can afford to only work a few hours a week. Mainly I’m annoyed because I’ve lost my physical strength and have got fat.

I’ve gained things though. I look after myself and don’t feel guilty for doing things for myself. I also prioritise listening to audibles and relaxing.

Adhdday · 18/11/2024 19:18

Sorry to hear about the health struggles though, for you @BeNavyCrab and @Apolloneuro .

RaspberryBeretxx · 18/11/2024 20:08

@BeNavyCrab so sorry to hear about your health issues and that you’re coming down with a cough/cold on top. Such a lovely funny story about your DS and his tutor! Brilliant that it sent a rocket up the tutor 😁 even if not quite the way you would have gone about it 😆.

@Apolloneuro hope you are ok, long Covid is awful. I know someone in her 40s with it and it really brought her down at its worst. She seems a bit better now so fingers crossed for all long Covid sufferers there may be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope you’re safely in and enjoying your new home Laura 💕💕🏡💐

Munchyseeds2 · 18/11/2024 20:21

I'm hoping @Imbluedalale is tucked up in bed, catching up on sleep in her lovely new home after an exhausting, exciting day xxx

AdmittowearingCrocs · 18/11/2024 20:33

@BeNavyCrab sorry to hear you struggle with pain daily, that can be so wearing and difficult to manage. 🌻 Love what your son did, kids struggle to filter their communication at times and land parents in it lol.
@Apolloneuro Long Covid can be so debilitating and who has been afflicted is so random. Hope you see further improvements in your condition 🌼

Imbluedalale · 18/11/2024 20:53

Good evening spoonies ….
Im sorry I’m only just posting with an update but it’s been a hectic but lovely day .
I have been reading all your posts whilst I’ve been in the van going from place to place but my god my mum can shop!
So they picked me up from the hotel and I had my suitcase with me , my dad said I couldn’t put it in the back of the van which I thought was strange as it’s a big van but I wasn’t too fussed and put it in front next to my mum. We got to house and was waiting outside for a while not realising the letting manager was waiting inside!😂
So he showed us around the house, I absolutely love it. You walk in the front door and there’s a toilet on the left with a gorgeous sink in and then into the kitchen which is my favourite room. The pictures don’t do it justice then into the living room where there’s patio doors and another door which leads to a lovely cubby hole cupboard . We went upstairs and my bedroom is massive and the bathroom is gorgeous. It also has different central heating for upstairs and downstairs so if it gets cold in the night I can turn heating up for upstairs from my bedroom. Anyway I signed all the documents and got my keys. When the man left my mum and dad asked me to come outside with them and they opened the van door and it was full to the brim of stuff for my house. My bed , loads of gorgeous kitchen stuff , everything I need for my kitchen , kettle , toaster, microwave , ninja cooker , tea towels , cutlery , gorgeous table and chairs for kitchen , bedding, bathroom stuff , towels, cushions , cups, plate set just absolutely loads. I was so overwhelmed. Then we went shopping , first we stopped off at the range and had some lunch although I insisted it was my treat. We then went round the craft area as I told my mum I liked doing crafts in the crisis house and she got me loads of craft stuff and one of those scrap books to do it in. She then got me lovely bathroom and downstairs toilet stuff , I’ve gone for a lovely white and green colour and then I got a lovely sideboard for my living room. My dad measured up all the rooms and said let’s go to piece up flooring to get an estimate of how much it’s going to be . My mum and dad asked me what I liked and I chose laminate flooring for my living room and thick grey carpets for all other rooms inc stairs . I said I can get one room done at a time as it was so expensive but guess what? My dad said pick what you want and he paid for me to have every single room floored and for lovely laminate flooring for my living room. He also paid for fitting and I’m getting the whole house done next Tuesday. We then went to b&m and I got some lovely bits inc an amazing twisty mop thing and bucket, more stuff for kitchen and a lovely lampshade for my bedroom. My mum yet again bought everything then we went to a huge Asda and got more home stuff and some slippers and all my cleaning stuff inc wash tablets etc. My mum insisted of getting everything in bulk so it will last longer . Again my mum and dad wouldn’t let me pay for anything so I got spoilt once again. We then got back at tea time and whilst my dad was building my bed me and my mum tried to sort out kitchen . I absolutely love everything they have got me and I’m so grateful. Tomorrow we are going to get blinds and cabinets for bathroom and for a big food shop. My mum and dad said all this will be for my Xmas present from them which was so lovely. I’m going for green and white bathroom and toilet , grey and navy blue bedroom and a grey and yellow living room . Oh I’m so so thrilled with it .
Me and my parents also had lots of hugs today and they seem so excited for me bless them.
I’ll add some pics but they don’t really do it justice and there’s still so much to do wishing will take time but I love it xx
I hope your all ok , sorry to hear your not feeling great @BeNavyCrab I hope you feel better soon.
Love you all xx

Need a hand hold -Part 3
Need a hand hold -Part 3
Need a hand hold -Part 3
Need a hand hold -Part 3
Need a hand hold -Part 3
OP posts:
kittylion2 · 18/11/2024 21:00

Oh this is wonderful news - your parents are definitely stepping up to the plate - and more - for you. The house is beautiful and I hope spoony is in his drawer! You must be tired, but I hope you will update us tomorrow with more - OMG the whole house flooring done! Goold old Dad (and Mum)! This is the beginning of your new life and your renewed relationship with your parents.

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