Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

@BeNavyCrab I'm really glad of the the up front approach. Growing up there were lots of little lies on the pretence of not hurting feelings but they were pointless things to lie about. My Mum hasn't changed and would make an excuse rather than just say no!
We did tell our son not to tell other kids but I reckon he probably spilled as soon as he hit the playground the next morning 😂

I'm sure someone will have the authority to allow you to dispute the charge. Especially as the absence was agreed with your ex and without your knowledge or consent. You contacted the school as soon as you knew about it and let them know that you didn't consent. You didn't have any possible way to get your child to school, as had been made homeless. Add in to the mix that you have suffered DV at the ex's hands, it would be impossible for you to make sure your child was at school. The fines are there to stop parents who don't care about taking time off, not people like you. Although I do have some sympathy for those who can't afford a holiday any other way and don't do it near exams etc. I have also heard of people who got fined for taking their kids to a funeral because the school didn't consider a grandparent a close enough relationship. So it's quite arbitrary how the rules are applied.

I’m so grateful Laura has an army of spoonies here now to give such good advice as well as laughs and comfort. I’m appalled at ex’s behaviour and hate how he’s playing the system to his advantage. And I’m appalled at the system which helps abusers yet leaves victims wondering how to pay their rent because they apparently can’t process things immediately- even though we all know how quickly things can be made to happen digitally. What do we do about it? 😰

Good morning Laura and all the Spoonies, sorry to hear you are still feeling really unwell Laura. Hope your appointment with the dermatologist goes well.
You should definitely challenge any fine, even using the phrase from @nornironlady “how many systems keep women under the influence of controlling partners and enable further abuse” because that is exactly what the fine would do. You would be punished for something completely out of your control and it is outrageous. It makes me angry for you.
Sending a big hug to you Laura 🤗

We've had that experience as well with other things. They get so excited about the secret that they just want to tell their friends.😂😂 Then you get the absolute random things like when the teacher asked them to talk about their weekend, knowing we'd visited the science museum in London. Dear son decided the most important part of the weekend was to talk about the fact that he was given some blutak that came in different colours! 🤣🤣

Hi fellow spoonies I have been reading the thread and catching up on Laura’s news and spoon updates.
Then when I venture into other threads, Lord above, it’s tough out there:

1. it seems planning Christmas and being a host is enough to have you running for the hills. From a relative who wants to bring a murderous rescue dog, to elderly PIL who won’t play ball, it sounds like hard work.
2. one person in a relationship treating another person dreadfully. These horror stories walk amongst us.
3. friendship groups causing agg - from trouble in the group chat, to people being taken for granted, what happened to being a decent mate?
4. money worries - usually, gosh my private pension isn’t quite what it should be, and my five bedroom house isn’t quite keeping up with the kids.
5. online dating. It’s a modern day bloodbath. And I’m sitting here in ratty old pyjamas, thinking well I don’t get too arsed about Christmas any more I just want a few potatoes and a nap, I have about 3 good friends and we are too exhausted to argue, and sorry but most of us right now are probably thinking - do I grow broke and put the heating on? In the DAYTIME. What I know about life you could fit on a postage stamp but I do know that being single outranks being in a terrible relationship. A few friends is all you need. The simplest, uncomplicated life is the new luxury, and age is a great leveller. From my more basic friends (me included) to the high fliers we just moan about being fat, shattered and menopausal. This a lovely thread full of lovely people. Nobody flounces off, or gives aggressive advice, or suggests that having 45 different savings accounts changes your world. Friendship is the greatest wealth you can accrue.

Oh my goodness @PeggyMitchellsCameo you have really articulated such an accurate reflection of MN right now.
I never want this thread to end for being the gift that keeps on giving in so many amazing ways. MN has lost a lot of this along the way.
I'm especially thankful for the new friendship of @Imbluedalale which has sprung from the most unexpected place!
There will always be a special place for all you Spoonies in my heart xx

I agree that this thread is very special xxx

Good afternoon @BeNavyCrab , how are you feeling today? Good I hope. Sending you a big hug.
I’m going to speak to my support worker re the school issue and see what she advises. Thank you. My children last year were all declined a one day holiday for their great grandmas funeral so it had to go down as unauthorised.
I feel abit down today as I spoke to my youngest earlier and everyone (ex and his brothers, friends and nephews)in the background was being loud and just generally being dicks so youngest was really awkward on the phone. I hope they all get (apart from youngest) a really bad case of piles.
Im just waiting for my ambulance to take me to my appointment at hospital. Had a long conversation with macmillan this morning which was super helpful.
Im hope your having a good day xx

Hi @TealPoet , are you ok? How’s your day going so far? Just waiting for my transport to hospital . I’ve even put make up on today 😂.
Im so grateful for everyone on this thread too, it really is amazing. It’s so nice that we have all come together and are able to share our highs and lows.
Regarding ex nothing he does surprises me anymore , I won’t say what I think of him because I don’t want this thread to be tarred with his dirty arse kecks .
I’ve sent a message through my UC journal and rang them they said somebody will respond to pay message within 24 hours but honestly please don’t worry one bit about that.
Sending big hugs your way xx

Hi @AdmittowearingCrocs , are you ok? I hope so. What’s your plans for today?
I’ll let you know how my appointment goes , thank you. My mum said not to worry about the fine unless it happens and she said she’ll go to the school herself if they do fine me and let’s just say, god help them if she goes there!
Thank you for the hug it’s much appreciated, sending you a big one back xx

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣bless him xx

My son loves BluTak and masking tape was a big favourite when he was smaller. I'm sure if I looked hard enough I'd find the odd random piece stuck somewhere. He would wrap it around the table and chairs and anywhere else it would stick. I had forgotten about that! 😊We used to buy it in packs of four from the Poundshop, he got one everyday his Dad was working 😂

Hi @PeggyMitchellsCameo , I loved reading that post , you really hit the head on the nail.
I also read a lot of other threads on here and I am invested in a few. But some of them really irritate me. There was one a few weeks ago saying how nice these Christmas jumpers are and added a link. She said ‘they’re so nice I think I’ll get three’. Went on the link and the jumpers were £300+ each! It’s another world .
I have read some of the threads re modern day dating and they sound dreadful. It’s a no from me. The only person I’m shaving for from now on is my dermatologist.
This thread is so very special to me because I haven’t had any friends for years about 10 years to be exact and I didn’t realise how much I missed having friends until I made this thread. A good friend knows your a good egg even though your slightly cracked xx

The shaving for the dermatologist @Imbluedalale made howl! Thinking of you.
You have friends now. That’s for sure ✔️

If the fine is at the discretion of the headteacher, and if she knows your circumstances and still issues a fine ... well all I can say is she must completely lack empathy and shouldn't be a headteacher, and that she fully deserves having your mother sicced on her.

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹my heart ❤️. That’s so lovely @nornironlady . Don’t worry in 10 years time we will be on part 387 xx

Hi Laura, I’m good thanks, plans for today were to give my bedroom a good hoovering as well as laundry etc.
This made me giggle “The only person I’m shaving for from now on is my dermatologist”. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hope the headmistress knows what she is letting herself in for 🫣

Thank you @kittylion2 , how are you today? I’ve just got to hospital with 4 mins left I spare . Phew 😮‍💨
The ambulance men were the most lovely men I’ve ever come across we have just spent 20 mins talking about sausage rolls and port pies 😂xx

Glad you’re good @AdmittowearingCrocs. I never thought I’d say this but I now love doing laundry and hoovering. But ask me again in 6 months I might change my mind.
Well I made sure I was all clean and shaved this time as I didn’t realise on my last appointment they check every Knuck and cranny. Last time I had a shower night before and put on some thick fluffy socks and when I got to my appointment the dermatologist wanted me to take all my clothes off inc socks and she pulled each toe apart to check and between each toe was black bits of fluff from the socks . I was mortified xx

I don’t know how to write this or what to say. I’m sat in the hospital waiting for an ambulance to take me home and I’m crying my eyes out.
I’ve just seen my dermatologist and she did all the checks etc and looked closely at my leg and she’s thinks my new mole is another melanoma so I’m having another operation to remove it a week on Monday and depending on the thickness of it they will decide whether to cut deeper with another operation or look at further treatment . Also she said my throat is extremely swollen so much so that she can’t feel my lymph nodes so she’s going to let my oncologist know ready for when they see me on Monday . She also said that now that she thinks it’s returned I will be on lifelong care with them instead of the 5 years xx

oh laura, i know I've not posted much this week but ive kept up and my heart just goes out to you xx

Not the news you wanted to hear, but hopefully they will be able to remove it, without doing too deep, we will all keep our fingers and toes cross, for you. 🤞

You are so much stronger now, you will get through this, you are amazing.
Just take care of yourself, and we spoonies are here for as long as you need us. We are all your friends now, and really care about you. 😘🌺

@Imbluedalale I've already said it Laura but I'm here. The Spoonies are here. Holding your hand for the next hurdle. You are so much stronger than you know 🥰

@Imbluedalale Oh lovely! Not the news we wanted ❤
It sounds like they are on the case and looking after you tho and treatments have moved on massively.
Try not to worry too much (easy for me to say, I know) xxx