Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

That's such a funny story. I can see you doing the up and down walk now.🤣 I bet you did it with confidence and panache.

It reminds me of buying my first pair of boots. I've got size 9 feet and in the 80s I don't think they had the range of sizes in women's shoes. My poor mum took me to every shop in Manchester and it was hours and hours before we found anything that would fit. It was the one thing I really wanted for my 18th. I'd never worn heels before as there hadn't been any opportunities to do so, while sailing. I certainly felt like one of the Ugly Sisters and not Cinderella.
Eventually we found a lovely pair of grey leather boots with a sensibly pointed heel. I was absolutely in love.

I had those boots for decades, they travelled all over the world with us. Even when I discovered that a field mouse had used one as a place to hide in during us hunting it down to release it outside, I wasn't put off them!!

@ChoccieCornflake
Thanks for your wishes, it means a lot. Unfortunately it's a terminal diagnosis, so it's more a case of finding a way to support them living the best life possible until the end. We are going through making sure we understand their wishes and trying to advocate for them.

@Ruralretreating I am sorry that you also have had a bad week. There's a few rubbish ones I wouldn't mind losing. Hopefully some of the highs you had were helpful for enabling you to get through the lows? It can be quite disorienting to have the seesawing emotions too.
Sometimes it's a case of getting through it as best you can and giving yourself time to think on it. Us Spoonies are here for you if you ever want to talk.

Good morning @BeNavyCrab , how are you feeling today?
I so have to see a picture of these boots! Do you remember the shoe shop called ‘Barrats’? I used to always go there for my school shoes until I discovered a shoe stall on the market that did spice girl shoes with the big platform. It was called ‘kinky corner’ 😂
So sorry to hear that it’s a terminal diagnosis that must be extremely difficult to process, sending you a big hug xx

Good morning Spoonies. Good catch up. I'm sorry to hear it's not been a great time for you all. Sending best wishes all round ladies 🥰
@Imbluedalale I do hope you feel a bit better about things Laura. It's been a lot to process I'm sure.
I am also a fellow boot lover. When Schuh first opened here in my teens, I went through years if buying the highest heels I could get. Sadly the quality wasn't the best and I had a few episodes of a snapped heel and hobbling home with one flat and one heel! The madness. They were 100 quid a pair. I actually stopped shopping there for 20 years. I've given then a 2nd chance this year on some chunky black Chelsea boots and I'm impressed so far. And only 50 quid 😂

Laura, does your daughter now think the rib breaking etc didn’t happen? In some ways, that’s probably what you’d prefer, from what you’ve said?

Morning Laura and the rest of the Spoonies, sorry that several of you are having a tough week. Glad you got your flooring done, but waiting to use the toilet while the workmen were in is a real pain.
Have you got an appointment to speak with your mental health worker about the VP actions? Hope your daughter is okay. The VP has made a right mess of everything with all her backtracking and changing the things she said and did.
Loving the story with your boots, I can imagine the strange looks you got 😂
@BeNavyCrab having a family member with a terminal diagnosis is difficult and takes some processing. Please also look after your own physical and mental health while providing the support to them.
@Apolloneuro glad you finally managed to get home. Bet your own bed was heaven after the travel woe’s? 🌞
@Ruralretreating sending a big hug and hoping you are having a better week. 🤗

Oh @BeNavyCrab , I'm so very sorry. Massive hugs to you all.

Massive hugs to everyone having a tough time of it - there's a lot of it going around.

@Imbluedalale - your house is absolutely beyond-anything gorgeous! Love it!! No shay and blue yet - fingers crossed for soon!!

Are you okay @Imbluedalale? Getting a bit concerned not having heard from you today. Big hugs 💕

Hi all, sorry I haven’t been in contact @TealPoet I have felt poorly all day and have an upset tummy so I’ve been in bed most of the day.
I hope you’re all ok and having a good day. Big hugs xx

Hi @Apolloneuro , how are you today?
No daughter knows that my ribs were broken as I was in hospital for 8 days with them but now she’s confused as to what happened as the VP has since told her she wasn’t implying ex did that when initially before that she read out the email to daughter from me and then asked daughter for her side of things . And I don’t want to tell her anything over the phone because if she gets upset I won’t be able to be there for her and I’m still unsure of what to do with it all tbh xx

Hi Laura, sending big hugs. There is a lot of bugs going around, I had to look after my little grandson yesterday as he also had a tummy bug and his mummy had to go to school.
I’ve heard he is a lot better today, but couldn’t go to school, as they have this 48hr rule

You are right, it will be so much better to talk face to face with your daughter, if you decide to tell her, what happened. And you will be there if she gets upset. But how awful for your daughter that the VP has twisted things, to make your daughter doubt herself. In doing this the VP is trying to cover up her mistakes. I think in a way this is far worse than the blunder she initially made.

Hope you feel much better, soon. 😘🌺

I'm sorry you feel so poorly @Imbluedalale - there is a lot going round, and it might also be your body's way of saying it needs some time out. Rest lots and don't stress about the VP.

In perfume news, I am wearing the English Cherry Blossom. It's very nice, in an understated kind of way. I can't really pin down what it smells like - just like a nice subtle smell. The sort of thing you'd wear if you wanted to wear perfume, but weren't sure if you wanted anyone else to know you were wearing it!

Laura, sorry you are feeling so poorly. Hope you start to feel better very soon. Sending hugs 🤗

Sending a big hug Laura. Hope you feel better soon. Maybe it’s a bug or the stress of the last few days coming through in some physical symptoms.

you’re doing exactly the right thing not telling your DD the full truth over the phone imo. I think you’ll know the right thing to say when you see her in person. With my ds I always think he’s ready to know the truth when he asks for it directly. So when he straight out asked about Father Christmas (think he was about 10), I was immediately honest. He hasn’t asked for ages about why me and his dad split (I lied when he was 4/5/6) and so many people know his dad had an affair, I think if he does ask I’ll need to be honest. His dad will be furious if he finds out but I dont think I can lie if asked. I know it’s nothing as serious as what you’re going though and that you need to weigh up lots of factors 🌺.

Hope you can take some time to hunker down and recover. 💕💕

hugs to everyone else who is going through hard times ❤️.

@Imbluedalale hope you feel better tomorrow, I'm sure it's just everything catching up with you
There are so many bugs around at the moment but so far I'm doing a good job of dodging them 😂
The carpets look 😍
💯 agree to finding some therapy with horses, I've heard of it before and I think it can be really helpful for a lot of situations.

Sleep well lovely xxx

Love to all of you lovely ladies who are dealing with tough times....its a good job we don't know what's round the corner for sure xx

Evening fellow Spoonies, I'm definitely starting to win with the cold and cough. Just mostly feeling tired out and sore core from coughing.

Thank you so much for your good wishes and sympathy regarding our family news. You are right @AdmittowearingCrocs , it's going to take some time to process and prepare for the future support they will need. It's always difficult balancing multiple people's needs and it's always a risk that you forget about your own too.

Hi all, you are all so lovely with your hugs and support. I appreciate it and am sending some to everyone else dealing with illness, difficult stuff, or sad news (so sorry @BeNavyCrab ) The highs have indeed got me through the lows this week. Am trying to recognise the positives in seemingly negative situations.

Also loved the boot stories! I lived in Brussels for a while and ruined so many high heels as they wedged between the cobblestones outside our office (and was opposite a building site too so the guys could laugh at me every time!)! Took to wearing flats and wedges when I could!

Hope you feel better soon @Imbluedalale

Good morning Spoonies.
@Imbluedalale I hope you get up feeling better today but if not snuggle down and take it easy.
@RaspberryBeretxx while we need to protect our children I also would rather not lie especially when asked directly for the truth. This happened at 7 with the Santa question for me. My son looked me right in the face and said - now Mummy tell me the truth, Santa's not real, isn't he not! While I was a bit gutted to spoil the magic but he clearly didn't believe. ASD and logic! He then went to school and told all the other kids. Teacher rang his Dad as I missed the call and gave out about it. Partner rings me to do the same and I'm like what!!!!! The preference is for me to lie to my child! Well no magic is worth my child losing trust in his Mum! I can laugh about it now but it did blow my mind that the teacher lifted the phone to tell us off for not lying to our child.

Good morning @nornironlady , how are you this morning? I’m still feeling pretty rough but hopefully will feel better soon. I’ve got a dermatology appointment today so I’m feeling nervous incase they do a biopsy or not and then having to wait for results. Was a rubbish day all in all yesterday my Uc hasn’t gone though in time for my first months rent due on Monday and then I received message from school to say they are expecting youngest back yesterday so I rang school as was confused as thought ex had booked it off but he hasn’t as he didn’t confirm it so it’s classed as unauthorised and she said we will both get a fine of £80 each however ex is allowed to dispute his because he can use the ‘T Code’. So I had a google to see what it meant and I’m more frustrated now. I didn’t want my child coming out of school and I didn’t agree to it but I might be fined and ex won’t be, how’s that fair? Anyway rant over .
Have you any plans for today?
Sorry but I had to laugh at your son saying that 😂
I still put out a carrot and cookies for Santa and youngest said last year ‘mam I’ve known Santa’s not real since I was 8’! I said why didn’t you say and he said he didn’t want to upset me 😂bless him xx

@Imbluedalale almost time to start work here. I'm not as tired as I should be for being awake almost 3hrs now!
I wonder if there's a way to dispute the fine as your ex is essentially controlling the situation against your wishes. I'm guessing some expert Spoonies might be able to help. I can't believe how many systems keep women under the influence of controlling partners and enable further abuse. Who is thinking of the child and why aren't they questioning the sudden use of travellers rights. From what I've read these apply to those actually travelling which you've said your ex didn't do.
It saves a lot of hassle when your child doesn't believe with regards to milk and cookies and elves on shelves 😂 I'm no mother earth!! Bless them for thinking we care they still believe 😂
Best of luck for hospital. I will be thinking of you xx
@BeNavyCrab shout out to you too at this hard family time. You are in my thoughts x

At least it’s not Tuesday @nornironlady . It’s middle of the week so you’re halfway there. She said on phone it’s at headteachers discretion but they know the situation so I’m hoping they don’t fine me. I’ve been reading up on the T code and there’s a letter template on there which basically says that no travellers have to show proof of working away or travelling as it’s discrimination.
Oh elf on the shelf was the bane of my life I hated him! He made a right mess and I stressed every morning on what to do with it 🤣xx

@Imbluedalale the more I learn about our social systems, the more I realise how dysfunctional they are. I'd definitely push to have that fine waived and use all of your circumstances if you need to demonstrate how unfair it is.
Wednesday is known as 'hump day' here. That day you need to get over from nowhere Tuesday into Thursday and onto the weekend!
My partner did elf on the shelf but my child didn't buy it for a second 😂

I will definitely dispute it if they try and fine me. I’ve never had problems with the school or college until now , everything ran smoothly before. Daughter got a free bus pass yesterday , I think the VP is trying to butter us both up .
If we had hump day here it would be for entirely different reasons 🤣xx

@Imbluedalale yes it also means the same here so it always raises a laugh 😁
Good news on the bus pass which is what you wanted, let the VP kiss your feet, I think it's very much due!

🤣🤣🤣🤣I bet it does . I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face .
It is good news on the bus pass and a relief 😮‍💨 xx

I totally understand the not lying to a child who's ND. I think the first time I learnt that lesson was when my oldest was around 2: and a half. I was playing the "I take your nose off game" where you pretend you pulled their nose off and show the end of your tumble from between your fingers. I'd played it numerous times with loads of children and it always had them laughing and getting you to do it over and over again.
Well it wasn't my son's reaction. He looked horrified and screamed in panic. He yelled "Put it back on Mummy and never do it again!"
When it came to Christmas we told our kids that lots of people enjoy the story of Father Christmas but they were told it was just a story. We also had the talk about not upsetting other children who did believe the story, so at least they didn't upset their classmates.
Our daughter particularly hated the going to sit on Santa's knee, when he came into school. She didn't like strangers and physically being touched was awful. When asked if she wanted a present from Santa, she said "No!!" and hid under the nearest chair. 🤣🤣

It's got us into a few difficult situations, when you have to tell them the truth always. Both of them have said they really value it, as it was hard enough to work out what others meant, without worrying about their parents lying.