Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

It changed the game for me!!!

So sorry I have only just caught up now but I've been teaching all day and only just got home. Didn't even manage a coffee it was so busy.

Anyway, the VP is so wide of the mark, I can't believe she is the Safeguarding Lead. I did Level 3 Safeguarding a few years ago as I was the Lead for a music group my kids were in. Most teachers need Level 2. You learn NEVER to ask leading questions such as "did Dad do that?" but rather "tell me how you got that bruise". She should not be discussing your injuries with your DD and her backtracking confirms that to me.

You have a couple of choices: definitely escalate this to the Principal and the Governors or Trustees. The Governor/Trustee with the responsibility should be identified on the website. Also, in your local authority, there should be a LADO which stands for Local Authority Designated Officer. Google it and give them a call. I have called my local authority safeguarding team for advice about a student who was known to them and they were really helpful. Also as another Spoonie suggested, speak to your MH team. They too will have relevant safeguarding training and may be able to advise you.

As @Apolloneuro says, we have to be really careful about messaging students. In my school they all have school laptops so I use email (school email address only) or Microsoft Teams Chat which is monitored by school. It safeguards ME - a kid cannot say "Malbecfan wrote X" because it can easily be checked. Having mobile phone numbers is incredibly lax but I work in an 11-18 setting and things may be different in college. More later xx

Sorry @Imbluedalale I'm going to watch Bake Off and will probably be asleep by the end. I'm teaching at 8am tomorrow too - I work 3 long days then have 4 days "off", except I spent 3 hours writing reports yesterday and will no doubt do stuff this weekend too.

I may try to have a quiet work with our DSL as he is a friend and see what the set up is in colleges if he knows. Don't hold your breath but I will see if I can find anything out. I hope all Spoonies have a nice evening.

Wow that's a brilliant explanation and sounds like it could be incredibly useful. I've had a tiny bit of support for coping with a long-term illness, which was useful but not really dealing with the subconscious. I've had the occasional flashbacks before but they were diminishing, until this latest out of the blue news. I'll look into it, thanks for letting me know. It's always great to get recommendations for things that helped someone else. Xx

Here's a picture of today's card. I did some of the work previous days but it's all together ready for the post. I've watercoloured the flowers and leaves. Stenciled the snowflake shapes around them. Then used metallic gel pens for the "flourishes"

Oh that’s a lovely card.

Massive hugs @BeNavyCrab. I hope that your brain can find a way to process all the awful stuff that happened without making you relive it at night. And I hope your family member recovers too.

@Imbluedalale - you are continuing to be very wise about the cockwomble VP! I hope that she worries so much about whether you will report her that not only does she bite her fingernails but she also tosses and turns so much at night that the bedbugs are flung into every soft furnishing she has!

Also @BeNavyCrab - that card is gorgeous!!

Hopefully the VP will carry the bedbugs into work on her clothes and have a meeting with Laura’s husband, who will take them home and they will take up residence in his underpants.

@Imbluedalale Im so sorry about the nightmares, that sounds horrible. But yay for lovely brand new floors! It’s so stressful having a house full of workmen but so worth it when they finally go away and leave you in peace! I’m also so sorry you’re still dealing with the stress and fall out from the stupid VP. What on earth was she thinking, pulling your daughter out of class to discuss your email?? So inappropriate and so stressful for you both.

Do you like horses? There are places that do a thing called equine assisted therapy, I’d never heard of it before but someone I know started working in one, they use various combinations of therapy and contact with horses to build confidence and reduce anxiety. I thought it sounded lovely and wondered if it might suit you and help with your recovery when the time is right.

@Apolloneuro that’s a great description of EMDR. Glad you made it home safe!

@BeNavyCrab your medical memories sound extremely traumatic and distressing, I’m sorry you have been having such a hard time. My neuro consultant referred me for an 8 week mindfulness course for people with chronic health conditions a few years ago, it was brilliant and really helped me see things differently and get out of the stuck state I was in after being diagnosed with a degenerative disease. It was funded by the LA mental health budget I think, and based on this programme that was originally developed for people living with chronic pain. https://mbsrtraining.com/jon-kabat-zinn-mindfulness/

That is a brilliant explanation. I’ve never heard of it before but you’ve explained it so well xx

Night night my lovely spoonies. Xxxx

Evening @RaspberryBeretxx , I hope your feeling ok now , I totally understand about not being with your DS Xmas day if he wants to go on holiday with his dad. This will be the very first Xmas without my children and the first time ever I’m not looking forward to Xmas because I normally love it but I knew ex wouldn’t let me have them this year so I agreed he could have them this year even before he thought of it . What gets me through that when I think about it is that I know they will be having a lovely day and I’m sure you’ll DS will do if he goes but I’m sure he will miss you and his little sister . Sending you big hugs ❤️
My flooring is all done it looks super cosy now and I don’t sound like stompy Pete anymore when I go down the stairs .
That scarf is absolutely gorgeous I love it ! I bet you looked amazing in it and super stylish xx

Sorry pics ….
Btw daughters bed looks flat as I opened her duvet to put on and then realised I got a single one instead of a double so she needs a new duvet xx

Oh those carpets looks so lush and squishy. Love new carpet smell.

Beautiful carpets and flooring Laura! Love that ❤️.

night night xx

Hi @Malbecfan , I hope you have had a nice relaxing evening.
Thank you so so much for providing that information , I found it super helpful. Thank you 🙏 xx

That is absolutely beautiful @BeNavyCrab . You are very talented at making cards xx

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Hi @ChoccieCornflake . That has made me laugh out loud 🤣.
I hope you’ve had a good day and evening . Have your new shay and blue samples arrived yet?xx

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I’m wheezing I’m laughing that much ! Thank you for cheering me up. Thankfully we never married so that’s one big relief. So glad your home now @Apolloneuro xx

Hi @Meanwhile33 , how’s your day been? Good I hope despite it being a Tuesday ❤️
I’m so glad the flooring is all done now , you’re so right about it being stressful. I felt abit like a gooseberry whilst they was here and needed the toilet , after spending nearly an hour plucking up the courage to ask if I could use the bathroom there was a knock at the door and it was a plumber wanting to do something with my toilets and then telling me not to use them for 15/20 mins 😩😩😩
Im still feeling quite unsettled about what the VP has done and I’m still unsure of what to do. I’m trying to get my head round it but most of all I don’t want it affecting daughter as she’s already been through so much.
I do like horses and I will definitely look into assisted therapy , thank you very much. I did read a few months back that horses help reduce depression by up to 33% xx

Good night lovely, sweet dreams 😴 xxxx

Thank you @RaspberryBeretxx .
Good night , sweet dreams xx

Hi Laura @Imbluedalale and Spoonies. Sorry I haven’t been on thread for a while, the last week has been incredibly topsy-turvey, lots of highs and lows.
Oh my word, what a mess the VP made of that. Excellent advice from @Malbecfan . I would escalate as she says with intention of getting the VP support to deal with safeguarding adequately. This has been awful for you and your daughter but I imagine there could be situations where her incompetence could do even worse damage. But as everyone else has said, your daughter’s and your well-being is the priority.
Totally recommend horses for emotional support.
Love the sofa! Looking forward to pictures of crazy fluffy lampshade up 😂

Hi @Ruralretreating , it’s lovely to hear from you. Im really sorry your having a difficult week. Sending you a big virtual hug and always here to talk to ❤️. I don’t like giving myself compliments but I will say I’m a good listener. I hope the next week is a lot more settled for you.
I’ll tell you a funny story to make you laugh , when I was about 17/18 I used to wear these really really high heel boots with everything I wore. They was black suede from a shoe shop called ‘garage’ they was about £20 😂but I loved them and always felt nice in them. So one day I decided to go meodowhall shopping and back in the day I used to walk everywhere so I walked from home to train station. There’s this t junction at these traffic lights and there’s always loads of cars waiting for the traffic lights. So I’m strutting past thinking I’m the bees knees in my high heeled boots and as I’m walking one of the heels got stuck in the pavement and I couldn’t get it out . I’m pulling and pulling but it won’t budge . Looked up and all the cars are looking at me laughing . So I pull my leg out and get on my hands and knees to try and pull the boot out of the pavement but it was stuck! It wouldn’t budge so instead of walking home I decided to still go shopping as was near train station so I hobbled away with one boot whilst the other was in the pavement . The worst thing was and I don’t know why I did this but I kept my other boot on which was about 7-8 inches heel and walked up and down style to the train station , got the train to meodowhall and bought a new pair of boots when I got there. The shame 😳 xx