Need a hand hold -Part 3

[Imbluedalale]

Hi spoonies , welcome to new thread , thank you so so much for supporting me .

It has been cold but quite sunny. Temperatures are falling now and getting colder.
Oh I love gammon and have it with potatoes, veg and gravy.I know some people like it with chips. I also do several meals with a gammon joint and will save some to do a chicken and bacon/ gammon casserole or risotto.
Yay, you have done your first load of washing. I like t try and dry outside if I can, even in the winter as long as it’s dry out. I just love the smell from drying outside.
I have a few favourite mugs and like big mugs. I always take a mug of tea to bed with me. Well done you for getting the lamp wherever it ends up it will always be special as part of your new life.

Hi Laura, I’m fine.
It’s totally understandable, you not wanting to involve police etc! You know what he is like! And what he is capable of doing, It’s not being sad, but being cautious.
Protecting yourself and children, from any more abuse.
Like you said, hopefully, he will get bored, as you aren’t reacting and in a much better frame of mind. That’s something he must be so peeved about.
You are a brilliant mum, you can tell the by the way you write and what you say, about your children, they are your world.
We are so proud of you, we may of encouraged you, but it is you that has gone ahead and done it.

How tidy are your cupboard, I wouldn’t photo mine, I have to hold things back as I open the doors 🤪
You have such an artistic flair for crafting, it’s so good that you can enjoy something that helps you stay in a better place.
Hope you feel much better tomorrow, so you can start on all that cooking you are planning to do. 😋🌺

It’s not been sunny here it’s been dark and cold all day but I haven’t had to venture out luckily . I’m going to have gammon with new potatoes and peas tomorrow so I’m looking forward to that. I like them with m chips too but I’m terrible at making home made chips and I don’t like the smell of chip fat but they are delicious. I’m also going to make a pan of pea and ham soup so I can heat it as and when I fancy. Going to make my mum and dad jackets potatoes on Saturday , I love a jacket potato.
I love drying outside too but I haven’t got a washing line at the moment hopefully I can get one in the January sales cos I want one of those spinny ones. I’m going to have a cup of tea with a cookies (or several) that @nornironlady kindly sent me xx

Hi Laura, sorry to read you're still not feeling great with your throat. I think I read your on steroids? I wonder if they could be causing it? My mum bless her passed away last year and was on steroids, she had a tumour on her trachea and the doctors wouldn't let her stay on them too long as they said they can cause thrush down your throat and oesophagus which can cause swelling/pain in the throat and would have made her struggle to eat/breathe more. Maybe something to get checked out as fluconazole would easily sort it for you.

Your ex is a tosser but I understand not rocking the boat unnecessarily. My mum split with her ex finally after 15 years of abuse 5 years ago and he was the same always taking cash in hand jobs he didn't declare etc and she used to get a bit of joy considering reporting the narcissistic, evil arsehole to HMRC but said she'd never really do it as he'd know it was her and there could be revenge from him and she just wanted him out her life.

Hope you had a nice bath, the cupboard and bobble vase and your first craft are great 😁

The best is yet to come…

The best is yet to come.
There are so many days ahead, golden with sun. It's hard to imagine right now, I know.
But even the most beautiful flowers, need to push through the dark to grow.
And when you do reach the light, you'll be so proud of yourself,
for never giving up the fight.
This won't be your whole book it's just a chapter, please don't beat yourself up for not getting there faster.
Never give up the hope, that these days will soon be done.
Keep believing, that the best is yet to come.

Glad to hear your ok @Nottogetapenny , hope your all nice and cosy in your home.
Oh if the police went to his land to look for him they’d be uproar, I wasn’t allowed the ambulance on his land so the police he’d go ballistic at me. I don’t want revenge because for me the best revenge is living my life with my children and being happy and knowing I have my own home so I don’t have to fear being chucked out into the cold or when I’m feeling poorly I can try and recover without him making me feeling guilty and being called a worthless woman so for me that’s a better feeling then playing his stupid game.
Thank you so much for saying I’m a good mum that means so much because that’s all I want to be. And thank you for being proud of me. I love all you spoonies every single day you pick me up and make me smile . I hope that one day I can do the same .
My cupboards are tidy because they are only 2 days old 😂wait till my children are here they won’t look so neat then 😂 it just gives me something to do and having a clean home for when my children come encourages me.
Im obsessed with crafting since I was in the crisis house , there’s something so therapeutic sticking things on a page and making something although I’ve found about 6 sequins stuck to me since I’ve done it 😂xx

Hi @ChaosHol1 , how are you today? Good I hope.
I never considered it might be the steroids but I’m nearly off them my cancer nurse wants me to do another week and then hopefully I’ll be off them for good.
Im so sorry to hear that your lovely mum passed away, sending you huge hugs ❤️
Thank you for the advice I will ring them if it’s no better tomorrow and see if I can get any medication for it.
Your mum sounds like she was a very strong woman and I’m so glad to hear she finally got out of a horrible relationship. I wouldn’t report ex either but the thought of it does help. He thinks he’s above the law , always has.
Im always here to talk , if your having a difficult day or if you want to vent or talk, always here xx

@Imbluedalale and all fellow spoons, just a quick late check in after a long day, laura your crafting page looks amazing! hope everyone has had a good day, im now chilling with IACGOH xx

It's a very difficult environment for a child who has sensory issues. Interestingly my daughter who has autism had enormous difficulty with sitting down to do her schoolwork. They spent so much time trying to get her to remain seated but in the end they gave up trying so much. She wasn't being disruptive and often wasn't aware that she was stood up. They got her a padded chair, that didn't have a texture that she didn't like, and she was a bit more tolerant of it. She still spent at least a third of the day standing, often when she was focused on her work but it was a compromise that the teacher could live with. Secondary school was a bit easier for her, especially with science subjects because they had classes where everyone was standing at tables.

Hi @spoonfulofmustard , hope you enjoyed IACGOH it took me about 10 mins to realise what it meant 😂. I hope you’ve had a nice day. I’ve had a lovely bath and one last brew before bed xx

haha sorry, i always have a strict rule at work of no initialisms or acronyms (makes things difficult in job) then totally break them myself! enjoying a cheeky 'late' night aa the kitty is curled beside my on the sofa (despite her heat mat being on in the bedroom) so a late start for me tomorrow, sleep well xx

Hi @BeNavyCrab , I’m so pleased to hear your daughter is finding secondary school easier. Reading on here has really made me realise the battles parents go through with school and education . I’m sorry that it’s so difficult and I really hope there becomes more understanding and help available. We could get @Apolloneuro onto it?🤔xx

You too @spoonfulofmustard , I hope you have a lovely sleep. I’m jeolous that your cat has a heat mat , I want one 😂xx

i can imageine us all in the same pose!

Oh lovely puss!

This is my spoilt, strumpet. She tucks herself for bed.

Anyone else got pets?

I know it's a bit unfair to judge people on stereotypes, as we are all individuals but your ex being from a traveller background does explain some of his attitudes. Whether he holds the same ideas or not, he's likely to have been brought up seeing them or under them.
They are much more likely to be violent towards females and expect the males opinion to be gospel. They also tend to expect the women to be there to serve them etc. Education can be seen as unimportant and would also be a reason for him not to value your daughter's interest and aspirations to study criminology.

I think that your mental health team are correct. Often DV tends to increase in frequency or severity over time. The fact that you couldn't access an ambulance when you were seriously hurt, is beyond terrible and shows that he was more concerned about himself than you.

Although you have every right to contact the authorities, I can understand why you don't want to antagonise him or his family. You have to be smart and get the best result for your kids.

I'd also advise you to keep good records of every meeting you have with school and who you spoke to. Email yourself the gist of the conversation and any plans they have suggested. He's actually doing you a favour by manipulating the rules, because it's going to count against him when he's facing a judge. Having a clear factual account, and being able to prove when certain things happen, can be very important. Feelings and attitudes can be disputed, but facts can be proved.

Really sorry that you aren't feeling well. I think I have turned the corner and am starting to beat this nasty cold. Hopefully you will start to feel better soon too. 🤞
I loved seeing your scrapbook page and it will be so lovely to see it getting filled with special memories of you and your kids in your new home. ❤️

Awww how lovely 🥰 she’s adorable and looks so comfy. We will all be asleep like that on book launch night 😂xx

Awww what a lovely name she has . She’s got beautiful eyes.
I haven't got any pets but I do have Harry the spider in my downstairs toilet. I’ll have to wait until Saturday for my dad to take it outside 😟xx

Oh don’t put Harry out in the cold! 😂

Thank you @BeNavyCrab , I have nothing against travellers I gave up my whole life for ex to make him happy it’s what he did and said that was wrong. Also he was absolutely spoilt rotten by his mum so that didn’t help. I wasn’t looking after him properly apparently.
I would have never have brought the traveller thing up if it wasn’t for him using that as the reason to take my youngest out of school. My children’s education is important regardless of what the traveller way is. It was more them that had a problem with me not being a traveller they used to always call me the slang term for ‘non traveller’.
Anyway it doesn’t matter what they think of me anymore all that matters is my children.
Im keeping records of names, times and dates so I can refer back to it when I need to .
Im glad you are starting to feel better . I’ve just made another craft dedicated to all you spoonies (I ran out of 4’s though so had to make my own 4)xx

I can’t go in there @Apolloneuro it just stares at me it doesn’t look very friendly and it’s the size of a 10p piece !xx

I don’t mind spiders actually. Snakes are my phobia.

Love your crafting 🥰

I don’t like either and I’m terrified of octopus’s xx

Good morning spoonies! I was out like a light last night so lovely to catch up on the chat.
@Imbluedalale glad you are enjoying the cookies. I had considered getting you some mugs but thought it would be one if the first things you buy so I didn't bother. Just as well by the looks of those cupboards. I love a Disney mug because they are HUGE!!! Sturdy! One is from 2013 and I got a back up for 6 quid in last year's sale. I have one in work too!
@BeNavyCrab some good insights on SEN. We've never looked at not using table and chair but they have tried many different seating settings. School triggers my child massively. He wants to go but just can't. I hear high school can really make all the difference but at this point he won't be recommended for one if he isn't attending primary. He only does a short day but even that's too much. I'm asking for ED psychology assessment at home and I will take it from there. I feel stuck myself now.

Here's my little furball in keeping with last night's trend.