To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

the very vast majority of them are decent people.

The vast majority of men are not decent people.

I wouldn't even claim the vast majority of women are decent people.

I read your thread and I am very glad that your friend is safe.
I agree with you though. Maybe it's because people who post on MN have had dreadful relationships...

There’s a Flouncers’ Corner, OP.

Ah @listsandbudgets you’ve had a shocking day and I hope your friend is ok. Mumsnet is not a real place and does not reflect real social dynamics and beliefs. A lot of it is bots and ads and people paid to post forum posts, and now AI generated posts. Just stick to S&B and Telly Addicts ;) see you soon

Why don't you go on male dominated forums and tell them to be nice.

Because I've seen misogyny a million times worse on those than any misandry on here.

Holding women to higher standards than men is also a form of misogyny.

ok then

You don’t need to announce your departure. It’s not an airport.

The vast majority of men in my life are good, decent people - as are the women. My late father, my late husband, all my sons and grown up grandsons have never behaved in the way so many mums net posters describe - it does make me sad to hear such derogatory comments .

🍿

MILs are hated even more.
And older people.

You can step away from MN for whatever reason you want. If it’s because you feel bad for men, then do it.

The issue is, many of us don’t believe most men are decent. Many men don’t abuse their partners. Many men aren’t outright awful. but that doesn’t make them decent. That should be the very bare minimum.

and honestly, any woman going missing makes me wonder if her partner had something to do with it. But then my friend went missing while suffering with PND. She didn’t turn up. He killed her. His her body. Went home and pretended she went missing.

So your point of view is going to depend on your own experiences. I am glad your friend turned up. But can’t blame people for suspecting all wasn’t right with the partner. It’s not uncommon that these things happen and it is something to do with the partner.

You can leave MN for any reason you like.

And may I be the first to wish that the barn door doesn't hit you on the arse on the way out.

(I like a good flounce, but better in their corner )

I heard a US representative of the Democrat Party on the Today programme on radio 4 blaming a major reason why they failed to win the election on the fact that they were demonising men. Endlessly being negative about men and not openly admitting that they have very real issues, turned off just not men but huge swathes of female voters too. It is so dangerous and counter productive.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/nov/09/we-can-rage-about-donald-trump-or-we-can-be-curious-about-why-he-appealed-to-so-many

I don't understand the need to announce this...

Because it is a Discussion Forum. Much better to debate properly and show that everyone has opinions and a right to be heard.

Bye Bye and Cheers

Don't forget step mums

I get it OP. There is a lot of projection that goes on and many assumptions made.

Unfortunately there are awful men out there and the good decent ones aren't speaking up about it enough in my opinion.

Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people

No. Look at the Gisele Pelicot case. Her husband invited around 85 men to rape her and around 80 did it. Anonymous surveys also show most men will rape if they think they can get away with it. This includes your sons, brothers, and partners, and Mumsnet is one of the few places you can talk about it and not be completely overwhelmed by NAMALT responses.

Most men are not decent. The case of Giselle Pelicot is ample proof of that. All those men in just a small area willing to rape a drugged woman. And let's not forget to factor in those who would have done so had they not been worried about getting caught.

I think it is healthy to discuss the issues that men, as a class group, cause both women and themselves.

There are of course, wonderful individual men. However I cannot agree that the “vast majority” are great people.

The vast majority of men are not decent people. The male race has done it to themselves and I have no sympathy for them at all.

Cross-posted. Exactly. It astonishes me that anyone who has heard about this case can persist in blindly chanting that NAMALT.

Unfortunately thousands of women every day are negatively affected by men, rape, violence, coercion. We’re paid less than them, less likely to get proper health care as the studies were for men, not us… and that’s just in this country. It’s even harder being a woman in Africa or even the US… to have a forum where this can be discussed is important. So it probably is a forum where men are sometimes negatively discussed, because if I talked about my sexual harassment at work in real life, I wouldn’t get promoted as he’s the chairman. We need somewhere to vent.

I've known men who do bad things and women who do bad things. Only the men have been upheld by "he's a nice guy" people closing ranks. The man I know who signs up the most to the "men are demonised" rhetoric SA me and got away with it. Pillar of the community, don't you know.

Somehow there's collective DARVO in the air.