To stop using Mumsnet for a while because of the constant negative comments about men?

[listsandbudgets]

I've just posted a thread about my missing (now turned up) friend. So many posters assuming that her DP was violent, controlling etc. etc.

Someone else posted about their DP getting a letter from child maintenance about a child he'd never met - again people slagging him of for "sowing his oats" implying he'd been violent and god knows what.

That's just 2 examples. There are some horrible men out there of course there are but it makes me so sad to see this constant underlying misandry here on mumsnet. Men our are sons, brothers, partners and fathers and the very vast majority of them are decent people - flawed perhaps, made some mistakes perhaps but that does not make them violent controlling etc. etc. it makes them human.

Please stop it mumsnet. Certainly attribute blame where it's genuinely due but stop making these awful assumptions it's unhelpful and nasty.

Signing off will be back in a few weeks to see whether or not things have improved - doubt it sadly

Just wanted to applaud this post 👏👏👏

Why do people who hate MN so much continually stick around? Do they get points somewhere for being ardent defenders of men? Does it make them feel special inside that they aren’t like the rest of us hysterical man-haters?

Ah OP gisele pelicot and a couple million other women will tell you you are wrong.
Going just by the stats alone, not estimated, there are roughly 50k rapes of women per year. If you add in estimates its 3 times that. So either 50k men are rapists minimum or a few men are going round raping loads of women.

I forget the child abuse figures but it's around half a million, and we know fine well a lot goes unrecorded, probably 5 times as much goes unrecorded and unreported every year. So again half a million men and more are child abusers.

Male rape (by men as that's the only way in the uk) is about 10k, and apparently under reported so another 10k men are going round raping men or a few are raping many men.

Sexual assault is stratospheric numbers, mostly unreported because women know damn well theres fuck all point reporting, fuck all is done about it.

But yeah, the poor menz

They're warning us before they start WWIII against women apparently.

^^ not spewing but ranting in case anyone wondered

Mumsnet for you

And it's wild that in a post like this, some posters will be most bothered about the 'poor menz' bit.

This is beginning to sound a bit playgroundish and tribal. If youre for women, you're for all women, a house divided against itself cant stand. They are entitled to be here, have their opinions and benefit from the discussion boards, after all the boards cover a wide range of topics, not just the many crimes of men.

I think my abusive exH turned me into a misandrist, and he thinks Mn radicalised me.

NAMALT but many are. I have limited experience with men in general but I work with many men and of course my customers can be male. I've had positive and negative, and downright scary experiences with men in my work.

Women who say "my husband/dad/brother would never do that" are either very lucky or ignorant.

I've had awful things done to me by men but I don't hate them all. I know a lot of decent men

Ah I've been waiting for internalised misogyny! It's a favourite in Mumsnet bingo.

There may be a reason you hear it a lot…🤔

@listsandbudgets

It's on Mumsnet that you will read a woman saying 'He doesn't need to say sorry, just tell me he loves me. ' after he anally raped her.

You are lucky that you and your friend have good decent husbands, many women find / learn they haven't when they are blindsided by something out of the blue.

We offer support / advice / care.

Quite a few "ism"s and "ist"s are rife here.
I don't think many posters are concerned with the morality of their views, they just hate certain groups of people and want to find like minded bigots.

And by isms and ists that refers to racism, ableists, homophobia, etc. And apparently MN is ‘rife’…Why would they wish to be part of a community where the majority of posters, in their mind, are bigots?

I have a husband who I love very much and who I consider a good man. My father was the absolute best example of a Dad and he was my best friend. I have a nephew that I adore and a godson I would die for, I love my brothers-in-law and I’ve had some lovely male friends in my life.

But I really, truly, deeply do not trust men. Whilst I have lived 30ish years without personally being a victim of assault or abuse or being cheated on, I only have to look around me and at the history of the world to see that men do not like women. Yes we can all sit here and give personal examples to us of why that’s not true, but society has bred men to have what I believe is an inherent dislike of women. It’s impossible to have lived through the last few years without realising how much most men hate women - I think for me the tide turned with poor Sarah Everard. After that I felt like I no longer had to bleat on about “not all men”. I don’t care that some men might not be bad, I’m no longer willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. At this point in my life, I don’t seek out friendships with men, I don’t seek their approval in work or social settings. The men I already have in my life and love I still love, but if a woman were to ever speak against them (for example if one of my brother-in-laws girlfriends were to accuse them of cheating or abuse) I would believe them and I would not give the man the benefit of the doubt. Just look at Gisele Pelicot - the most ordinary of men cannot be trusted.

St John Rivers from Jane Eyre has possessed a number of sock puppets here who now are virtuous, masochistic, and violent in their determination to make a site called 'Mumsnet' be less...childish and hysterical. Excuse me from this thread, I'm going to lend Bertha Rochester the matches.

Because they can tune out those they disagree with and find nuggets of insight from other posters. It's what i do on the dreaded stepmum board. 😂

Picking up your last sentence - there are none so blind as those who will not see

One only has to be single, separated, divorced or their favourite state, recently widowed to see husbands, dads, brothers crawling out of the woodwork

This is the predatory nature of man ladies, even the quiet, kind, ‘good’ ones, as
yes they would most certainly ‘do that’ and doubtless justify it.

Ah yes. Can’t deny it so call it mumsnet bingo to try and shut people up.bur nor actually address the point.

Again, the misogyny.

A very substantial minority of men are misogynistic and are fucking awful to women. Statistically it is likely that the men involved are being twats.

This.

A lot of men are not nice at all. Just look at rape, violence and murder stats for men against women.

Somewhat ironically, post after post after post has proved the OP right.

We have lovely men in our family. Really decent men of integrity. But I’m still aware that men as a sex class commit most violent and sexual crime and are top of the power hierarchy.

So no, most men aren’t above reproach and I think you need to spend some time on male dominated forums to see what they really think when no one is looking. You’ll scuttle back to the safety of MN in a heartbeat. However brutal women are, they are never going to dehumanise and brutalise women as much as men.

This.

I don’t find that people’s actual life experiences is irony.

Is this like the Alanis Morissette song? Because it isn’t ironic at all. Criticising harmful male behaviour is not misandry.