Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

[Boopadoop90]

Just that really. We were out with friends, going back to theirs. Dh refused to back to theirs but I don't know why. The others left in a cab. I couldn't leave dh alone in the pub. I I said I'm going home. He said OK. Followed me out in a fit and angry, cos he felt obliged to follow me. He's walked home. I'm 2 miles away from homre and sitting in the cold shivering
He messaged me to ask if I got an uber home. I said no, he said good we've spent £x on uber tonight.

He's walked home and I'm sitting on the kerb, 2 miles away in the dark, cold.

He didnt want to go to the friends house but said she should- she chose not to do so because she didnt want to leave without him.
he wanted to stay in the pub and she said she wanted to go home, so he followed her out only to be told to leave her alone?
you’re expecting a lot of a drunk person to keep persisting when someone is being difficult on purpose

You're being a complete drama llama. Get up and walk or get an uber.

Is your DH on something? Because that is the attitude of someone who was either on something, wanted to get on it and got interrupted (first by the plan of going to the friends’ house, then by you wanting to leave) or… is cheating and has mentally checked out. But something is definitely off.

Saying that, you staying out in the cold by yourself knowing full well he’s drunk and he wouldn’t come and get you accomplishes nothing. I assume you were drunk too because sitting out there and just posting here is just????

I hope you’re feeling better today but open your eyes to whatever is going on right under your nose.

So he should have said to her, ‘’OK, you go home, I’ll call a taxi for you and meet you back there in a bit as I’d rather stay out and socialise’’. Therefore, they BOTH didn’t act like adults. She came off worse, yes.

You were being ridiculous and dramatic, why wouldn’t you just keep walking home surely that’s safer than sat crying on a cold, dark curb? I can only assume you’ve been drinking with how childish you are sounding

Didn't realise you could now get married at 14.

It’s all a bit “look what you made me do.”

but that doesn’t mean he is helping the situation by showing up for her when she needs him.
And is their a limit or end to that? I don't understand all the 'oh I'm only horrible and nasty and controlling because I've been hurt so am testing you to make sure you do love me and will show up when I need you'
I mean how abusive is that?!

You don't realise it but you're actually being pretty manipulative and you're annoyed because he didn't do what you thought he would.

Exactly this.

Read about the drama triangle, about how we enable and maintain drama / a situation by rescuing people from difficult feelings and situations.

Beyond the usual behaviour of someone who cares (which he did, he offered to walk her home even though he didn’t want to go home), it is unhelpful to pander to unreasonable demands (‘you should have wanted to walk me home and done it happily’).

She probably had no idea in that moment that she was behaving so badly and felt justified in it but noone should feel that they have to behave in a particular way because a partner is manipulating them. People reinforcing that behaviour by saying ‘if he was better you wouldn’t have to’ is so unhelpful and will not enable her to change.

It is toxic, but I don’t think people who do that sort of thing are really thinking it through to that degree. They just feel insecure and that’s how it plays out. Like I said, she needs therapy and to learn to communicate properly, but it’s also unlikely that her husband is completely innocent in it. It’s doubtful she will have been thinking it through if she was three sheets to the wind!

You sound like you want to punish him "Oh look at me, a poor, vulnerable woman sleeping on the kerb." For goodness sake, you were two miles away, not 50! I walk about 6 miles a day and wouldn't think twice about walking home in your situation - yes, even the dark and cold. It'd take me less than 30 mins. Still far better to sleep on the street eh?
Obviously, Uber is an option if you weren't comfortable walking.

He told you to go with your friends. You refused.
You said you were walking home and then decided to sit on the ground as some kind of test to see if he cared.
If you do this kind of thing regularly, I’m not surprised he couldn’t be arsed with it.

Honestly, if you are daft enough to sit there for an hour and then sleep there, whilst posting on MN, I will plait sawdust.

Bloody ridiculous!

This whole thing is conjecture. You don’t know the OP at all, her husband or what really happened.

All we know is a drunk person starting posting on MN at midnight and was in a mindset that sitting on the kerb doing that was more important than her safety or warmth.

That is all.

I know it is unhelpful, I’m just trying to see it from her perspective. I’m not saying her perspective is right, but 1. She feels insecure and 2. She’s pissed. So I can see why it happened. Not that it’s right, they are two completely different things. I can also see it from his perspective and why he walked away, but my point is you can’t blame it all on her without knowing what her marriage is like usually. They both acted like twats to me, with her worse.

TBH you sound manipulative, dramatic and immature. If you have issues in your relationship with your husband, it would be better to address them when you are sober and safe, not when in a potentially vulnerable situation.

So glad I didn’t drink last night 😂😂😂 hangxiety for you today op!

This thread is a bit batshit but op I'm glad you got yourself home safely

Can you imagine waking up to this thread.

Here for the deletion message.

I’m glad you’re home safe but wow what an incredible amount of immaturity you both have.

What should he have done?
Stayed with the OP while she shouted at him to leave her alone?