Dh has walked off and left me alone at 1am in the street. 2 miles from home

[Boopadoop90]

Just that really. We were out with friends, going back to theirs. Dh refused to back to theirs but I don't know why. The others left in a cab. I couldn't leave dh alone in the pub. I I said I'm going home. He said OK. Followed me out in a fit and angry, cos he felt obliged to follow me. He's walked home. I'm 2 miles away from homre and sitting in the cold shivering
He messaged me to ask if I got an uber home. I said no, he said good we've spent £x on uber tonight.

He's walked home and I'm sitting on the kerb, 2 miles away in the dark, cold.

She couldn't have dramatically announced she was sleeping on the kerb all night then.

I understand abusive relationships and dynamics but this is the adult equivalent of....

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms

And she needs to grow up and take a bit of personal responsibility.

The behaviour you’re describing is not the responsibility or caused by anyone other than the OP. Excusing it is not helpful.

Anyone who has this level of dysfunctional attachment style would be far better seeking therapy than continuing to test and push away anyone they are in a relationship with.

So you initially said "I'm going home, you don't have to come, stay at the pub". How did you plan to get home in that situation then, and why haven't you done that?

Why does him leaving the pub with you but wanting to walk ahead slightly mean you ended up sat on a kerb sulking, when you originally said you'd happily go home without him at all in the first place?

I haven’t excused it at all. I’ve simply said why I think it might be happening because her husband might make her feel insecure. To be honest, the way he had acted by storming out of the pub in a huff wasn’t great either. I have agreed she needs therapy and the behaviour is toxic. I commented because people were saying how ridiculous it is. It’s childish but not all that peculiar or uncommon.

We've probably all been in your position where there's been a bit too much alcohol consumed, a few cross words shared then someone storms off. It's a lovers tiff, not nice but very normal.

You just get in a taxi or walk home, get some sleep and sort it all out in the morning.

Tomorrow's another day

You don't know the area.
I wouldn't walk home alone in my city.
@Boopadoop90 just get a taxi.

How's the head this morning??

Absolutely.

Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much? It’s clearly affected your decision making.

What a drama llama.

Ffs grow up

He probably expected you to follow him, or to go to your mates. More fool you for wasting all that time freezing in one spot

Quit the drama. What's he supposed to do.

He was being a dick but I don’t see how sitting on the kerb helped. Suspect it was the drink talking 😂 These things escalate quickly in a drink. Maybe give up the booze for a bit and have a sober chat with DH about how it’s not ok to just leave you. Also, you should have just got a taxi to be safe but also piss him off.

You said if her husband was a decent man she would be less likely to behave like this. That’s completely reinforcing her dysfunctional, manipulative behaviour (‘if you were the person I want you to be I wouldn’t have to….’) She is 100% responsible for her own choices, and when he didn’t behave in exactly the way she wanted him to, she chose to sit by the side of a road sulking for however long, checking his location to see if he was going to come back to her. I think that is peculiar and uncommon beyond the age of about 20 and outside of people without particular mental health needs.

That could explain a lot!

Presumably you are home now and feeling a bit silly. Time to be cutting down on alcohol?

I'd like to read DH's thread....

This is ridiculous. YOU left the pub and told him to stay then you're sitting on a pavement instead of walking home?!?

You're just looking for a fight with him. Glad you finally had the sense to walk home but your actions were ridiculous.

“Mrs said we were walking home then chose not to walk, Has turned up three hours later with grazed knees and cigarette ends in her hair after lying in the gutter outside the pub”

Both of you acted immaturely. You have a child together, grow up.

Maddest thread in a long time.

I am slightly confused by what actually happened here but for next time, OP you have options:

(I don't really understand why you couldn't leave your DH alone in the pub but hey ho)

-you go with the friends and leave DH in the pub (he is a grown man who can make his own decisions)

-you stay in the pub with DH and there's an atmosphere and neither of you enjoy it

-you immediately call an Uber and go home leaving DH in the pub, or he decides to jump in with you

None of the options should be sitting on a kerb in the middle of the night. Althugh it seems far, 2 miles isn't that far. And in any case: call an Uber.

Correct she is responsible for her own choices, and she should get therapy, but the point of what I said was that everyone here is saying she’s pathetic etc and her husband is probably sick of her, but clearly he isn’t making her feel secure in their relationship.

That might well be all in her head because of her previous experience of feeling insecure, but that doesn’t mean he is helping the situation by showing up for her when she needs him. Her attachment issues are not his problem but doesn’t mean he isn’t adding to them rather than helping her to feel more comfortable. She probably shouldn’t be in a relationship full stop to be honest. I still don’t think he’s acted like a mature adult himself by storming out instead of communicating properly to her.

I bet his tantrum was about money. 💰 the amount spent on taxis he said?

May be I can see my volatile rude STBX husband who always gets in a state about money? Anyhow glad you made even but never again you need to make sure you are safe even is angry.

also pp saying "aw don't be mean girls being mean"

sometimes a (possibly manipulative, possibly insecure, possibly abused) poster needs that kick up the backside to see how ridiculous/abused they are and make better decisions.