AIBU for not wanting my partner to watch porn?

[Applecider96]

I'm pregnant and the hormones are probably playing a part but I don't understand why my partner used porn when we both enjoy sex. Some people are into it and there are differences of opinion, but I don't understand pleasure over another person whilst you're in a relationship? I'm due in less than a week so it's really annoyed me tbh. I've been unsatisfied before and I didn't make a point of using it. I'm finding it hard to not see it as an ick and I'm put off him right now. But when this is mentioned, people suggest watching it together, no? It's just another fake thing in this world. Oddly I don't feel this way from being insecure in myself, it is purley finding it hard to see porn as anything other than cringe. It is normalised to be sexually aroused by another person, how can I learn not be frustrated with this has anyone else felt this way? To add, why should I cook every meal and clean whilst pregnant for him to do what he wants.

Happy wife, happy life..

I’m surprised you moderate a support forum for women when it’s clear from your comments here that you absolutely despise women.

I am referring to the lady who was talking about fantasies in their husbands head.
As you keep choosing to ignore that or pretend it doesn’t exist I’ll quote it for you……

Carouselfish • 28/11/2024 19:51
I think if your relationship and sex life is fine, you cannot police someone's fantasies. I mean, even if he doesn't watch it, he can still imagine it………..

thats what I was referring to …..

Seriously some people get so fecking blinkered we are not just talking about Porn we are talking about “fantasies” or do you just scroll to the things you want to talk about and dismiss the rest

You are perfectly entitled to feel this way.

Too many people gloss over the fact that there is a big issue with some of the women and girls in these videos being trafficked/filmed without their consent and/or knowledge.

A lot of porn shows the degradation of and violence against women and that affects how men view women and their expectations of what sex should be like.

Porn is an industry, they don't care about improving people's sex lives. All they want to do is make profit and keep people 'addicted'. That often means more and more extreme videos as men get hooked and then slowly desensitised and need to seek new content to experience their thrills...

I really wish people who spin the 'every man watches porn' and 'it is normal and does not affect relationships', would stop and think for a minute about the effect it really has on society.

It really is unhealthy that teenage boys and young men get their views of sex from porn for example and believe that choking and other painful acts are what sex is about.

You are correct that it is unhealthy that some both men and women get their views on sex via porn.
But some consenting adults enjoy making, watching and re acting even choking..
My take on the whole porn thing is consenting adult yes everything else no but unfortunately a lot of time and money is wasted on policing consenting adults instead of directing the energy where it really matters...

Stop kink shaming consenting adults and save the people who want to be saved instead!!!

Ok where do you get that take from????

I moderate on a forum for ladies in the sex industry who have made their own choices and are tired of other women trying to shame them or making them out to be victims.....

So my advocating for a womens right to choose means I hate women 🤔 hmmm interesting ..

Or do not view sex workers as women ????

@Genni01 ·'You are correct that it is unhealthy that some both men and women get their views on sex via porn.
But some consenting adults enjoy making, watching and re acting even choking..
My take on the whole porn thing is consenting adult yes everything else no but unfortunately a lot of time and money is wasted on policing consenting adults instead of directing the energy where it really matters...
Stop kink shaming consenting adults and save the people who want to be saved instead!!!'

I note that you choose to gloss over the fact that many of the women you see in porn video are exploited/trafficked and therefore you are not watching 'consenting adults'.

You only have to look at the track record of companies like Pornhub to realise that it is very naive to think that it is easy to spot what video is made with consenting adults/professionals and what is not...

There is nothing 'kink shaming' about pointing out that porn has brought the misleading view for many men that choking is a regular part of sex and that they can do this to women without seeking their consent first.

Unless you live under a rock you should have come across the surveys and testimonies from women who are being faced by this behaviour from the men, they date.

It is totally disingenuous to suggest that a criticism of porn is driven by wanting to 'shame' people or wanting to 'save them' which suggest preaching.

I am bothered by violence agains women and girls, misogyny and porn selling the idea that degradation and violence is a common part of sex.

It that triggers you, I could not care less. I think more women. need to be more vocal about what porn being so easily accessible and more and more extreme does to relationships, not be told to shut up because they are 'kink shaming'.

What in earth are you waffling on about I've made it quite clear that I am no fan of porn hub and where have I mentioned being triggered????
Id also love you to show me where I have said I'm a fan of men doing anything to women without their consent!!!

Seriously you make it up as you go along!!!!

I have said multiple times that I'm for a woman's right to choose. As long as its legal, CONSENTING ADULTS should be allowed to make their own choices and instead, energy should be directed towards all things NON CONSENTUAL!

Most people would take that as im against anything that is NOT between CONSENTING ADULTS especially as I have NEVER SAID I agree with anything that is NON CONSENTUAL!!!

I am beginning to wonder 🤔 Do you always take women for fools that can not read and lack understanding or is it just the women on MumsNet???

It might not float your boat but some women actually enjoy those types of things. Why do you think the likes of 50 shades of gray etc is so popular???

Maybe you should do some reading on the dynamics of sub/dom relationships or BDSM etc so you can acquire a balance view which will enable you to make an informed choice?

You may view something as degrading which you are totally entitled to do, but I and countless other women are entitled to a differing view.. although, instead of taking my view from anonymous surveys I prefer to form my own opinion after speaking with women who are actually experienced in what is being "surveyed" ie First hand accounts that are given in safe space. !!!!

This may be another out there opinion but I'm actually against violence to everyone not just women. 😲 imagine that,,, how dare I be against violence and degradation to men 😳 in fact it's not just human beings I'm against being violated, it's animals too.... 🤯 What a mind fcuk!!!

Violence and abuse (both sexual and otherwise) are used as a form of control and twisted self gratification in many industries, that includes your cleaners, nail technicians, and the people who wash your car. Unfortunately these forms of abuse are brushed aside as it involves services that most people use.

Basically its a case of "if we can't see it then it doesn't matter"

So yes, I may advocate for "consenting adults" but that doesn't mean that I am not an advocate against all things that happen without consent regardless who the person is and to say otherwise.... is what I consider to be DISINGENUOUS!!!

Oh and I also note that you choose to gloss over the fact that women in porn they have made and uploaded themselves not the bollex you see on the likes of porn hub are not being trafficked or exploited and are doing it by their own choice 🤷🏻‍♀️

You say I'm naive because I think it's easy to spot who's consenting but you are very wrong ... again show me where I have stated that because I haven't....

It's not easy to spot any type of abuse but does that mean we should not try or should we shut down everywhere where abuse can happen including all those industries that make your life that little bit better, maybe we should shut all the schools and churches 🙄

You also say that porn isn't an industry that cares about improving people's sex life and that it's all about PROFIT

May I introduce you to capitalism 🤣🤣🤣

And you say I'm naive 👏👏👏👏

How on earth is pleasuring yourself to another person fine to you?

Ffs, you cannot control who your oh thinks about when he’s having a wank! Are you serious?!

It's people like you who are the problem condoning the whole industry. Relationships and sex should be sacred, and there's a difference between finding someone attractive and pleasuring yourself over them lol

Is this honestly your belief, it’s the most puritanical, naive and controlling thing I’ve heard!

Are you really lol? What an odd response.

Honestly I feel sorry for your partner. Imagine being told you can only picture your partner whilst having a wank for the rest of your life. He won’t even take any notice of you and you’d have no clue!

I don't know any women in real life who would accept it. We tend to surround ourselves with people who share our values. Nothing new about that.

How do you think you’ll stop your partner imagining someone else when they masturbate?!

LMAO imagine diluting something sacred within a relationship with watching trash online

It's not puritanical, how are you normalising something so strange and disgusting. If someone was infront of your partner and he wanked off to her you would find that normal would you? How very very strange

Right, I prefer to hunt with spear and knife than nest, tho I'm multifunctional, unlike your stereotype.

I assume you're male?

"LMAO imagine diluting something sacred within a relationship with watching trash online"

Well you don't have to imagine it do you OP because it's happening in your life right now, still laughing your arse off?

@SwingTheMonkey sorry, I specifically meant porn use. I don't know what he thinks about when he's rubbing one out and I don't care, that's his business.

Exactly my point, my thoughts have changed since I asked the question. You're both wierd lol

Lots of your friends’ husbands are almost certainly watching porn, regardless of how their wives feel about it.

Strange and disgusting! People have been producing porn since the dawn of time, there are pornographic cave drawings, sex is natural and as much as some hate the idea, men especially and also plenty of women get aroused by looking or thinking of others, as long as the core romantic relationship is healthy you can’t police what your partner does in private, they will just lie about it anyway.