Is this lovebombing?

[Namechangeforme88]

So I've heard the term before, but I'm not sure if it fits this situation or if I'm just cold hearted.

Met a guy at work about 6 weeks ago, swapped numbers, had great chats, he's funny and kind and we seemed to have stuff in common. Arranged a date last week. Went well, had a small kiss at the end.

But since then I feel like he's been laying it on super thick. Some things he's said -

I'd give anything in the world to be there with you - after he asked for a pic and I sent him one of me in pj's going to bed

After a mildly flirty message he said- when we do finally do it, its going to be very emotional.

Would love to give you a shoulder massage, but it would have to be from the front so I could look into your eyes - when I said my shoulders were hurting

I can't wait to hold you in my arms - just woke up to this message

You're perfect in every way, inside and out - again out of nowhere, when he doesn't really know me

You've been quiet lately, everything ok? - when I didn't text back because I was in a meeting

I feel like I'm losing you- haven't replied to that one at all

I've been used to quite stand off ish men in the past and I've not dated in a very long time, so not sure if I'm out of touch but this just seems way over the top.

You aren’t imagining it. Him asking if he is losing you etc is him being insecure. Throw this one back, honestly he will be a nightmare. Very clingy.

Most definitely.

I haven't dated in years but these messages would make me vomit! Way over the top given you are virtual strangers. If you are still interested I would ask him to dial it back as he is coming on way too strong.

It's too much, too soon. I agree with PP, throw this one back.

Run and don't look back!!!!!

Run 🚩

Blimey, I have the ick just reading them. Interestingly, it's different kinds of ick. I didn't even know there were different types of ick until I read this post! .

So there's the "Oooh, you're such a weirdo" ick from all the comments about massing shoulders while staring into your eyes type messages.

Then there's the "That's slightly scary" ick from the "I feel like I'm losing you" message.

Then there's the "Red flag controlling wanker" ick from the "You've been quiet".

I'd move on pronto.

Run.

Did he speak like this before? Because honestly it reads like a bot or something from a sad and lonely guide to one liners manual 🤢

That’s love bombing. Not even original is it?

Not really love bombing I think but he sounds really cringy and insecure and I’d be put off by that. It could just be that he’s bad at communicating so maybe have another date and ease off on the texting in between.

Run

I feel like he's suffocating me just reading this.

Way too intense way too soon. Run.

Oh dear, I’d find that a huge turn-off! Hope you can let him down gently without it becoming too awkward at work.

Sounds weird

I'd run a mile

Absolutely OTT.

If you weren't an adult I'd say he was grooming you for naked pictures or videos to blackmail you with worse to come

It reads to me like he's read somewhere that 'being emotional' gets you inside a woman's pants quicker.

None of it seems like genuine caring/thoughtfulness. Apart from the insecure controlling bollocks the rest is all linked with sex.

Definitely bin and walk away.

That would make me want to run so far that I leave planet Earth.

Never doubt your instincts when it comes to dating and relationships. We never regret listening to these instincts, only the times we haven't.

Maybe he's just a bit cheesy & has a major crush on you?

Yuck. Don't go there.

I can only echo the "run" advice. Hes going to be a nightmare.

Your standards are too low.

This is clasic lovebombing. Overwhelming you with excessive attention and overly emotional comments, lots of flattery etc. It is a useful technique for men who are likely to yto be controllign and/or abusive and/or narcissistic to establish early who are more likely to be victims. Women who get the ick are NOT their target. Women who find it lovely, who say things like, "oh, he wears his heart on his sleeve" etc, are unfortunately also the women who, 2 years down the line, are completely dominated by this person whose moods and desires dictate everything they say and do.

This