Is this lovebombing?

[Namechangeforme88]

So I've heard the term before, but I'm not sure if it fits this situation or if I'm just cold hearted.

Met a guy at work about 6 weeks ago, swapped numbers, had great chats, he's funny and kind and we seemed to have stuff in common. Arranged a date last week. Went well, had a small kiss at the end.

But since then I feel like he's been laying it on super thick. Some things he's said -

I'd give anything in the world to be there with you - after he asked for a pic and I sent him one of me in pj's going to bed

After a mildly flirty message he said- when we do finally do it, its going to be very emotional.

Would love to give you a shoulder massage, but it would have to be from the front so I could look into your eyes - when I said my shoulders were hurting

I can't wait to hold you in my arms - just woke up to this message

You're perfect in every way, inside and out - again out of nowhere, when he doesn't really know me

You've been quiet lately, everything ok? - when I didn't text back because I was in a meeting

I feel like I'm losing you- haven't replied to that one at all

I've been used to quite stand off ish men in the past and I've not dated in a very long time, so not sure if I'm out of touch but this just seems way over the top.

Run 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Its just words. Corny as hell but there you go. It's actions that count, what is he actually like as a person OP?

How old is he OP? Is he good looking? Has he ever had a partner?

I mean it could be tongue in cheek? If Lee Mack said some of this stuff it would be funny. If he is a bit of a recluse or an oddball, not so much.

I would run unless he is the office joker and I enjoyed that banter.

He sounds like an absolute weirdo and a future faker. I'd block him actually his messages really give me a horrible feeling.

Oh my god all that after one date would give me the absolute ick, infact getting those messages even from my husband would. Sounds like a complete creep who thinks messages like that are a fast, one stop track to getting in your pants. I'd throw him in the bin pronto.

Hes 34, hes average looking, he said he's had a few girlfriends but they don't sound like partners more like dating for a few months.

If I'm being honest, everything hes said is coming across as creepy now. In one of his last messages he even said he had found the perfect present for my daughter (I'd mentioned it was her birthday coming up) which is way ott for me when I dont think I've even told him her name.

I've also woken up to another "dont forget your are perfect and amazing" message which is getting repetitive now.

I've had to be careful with cutting him off as I know him through work.

The comment about a present for your daughter is really, really weird...

A young girl he's never met and doesnt know at all, but he thinks he's found the "perfect" present for her?

He's one of those men that project an image onto women, and them falls in 'love' with that image. He isn't interested in the reality of who you are underneath, your personality, your interests, your hopes and dreams. You're just a blank canvas for him to project on to. Ugh, talk about objectification.

I would just be honest and the sooner the better - tell him his messaging is way too intense for you and that you're not ready for that kind of relationship so think it's best you don't go any further. Hope you can stay work colleagues and friends, all the best etc.

Be careful, he's going to pester the life out of you. The needy texts when you didn't reply immediately are a massive red flag. He'll probably turn out to be a stalker

His messages are hilarious. He wants to look into your eyes 👀

I’d have to toy with him for assuming I’m an idiot

Lovebombing you isn’t working so he is going through your child. Keep men like this away from both women and children.

Yeah I think this is more likely the case. He's trying too hard, and possibly expecting too much too soon. Love bombing isn't quite like this. It's more like huge romantic gestures, long, emotional messages - which then stops as soon as he knows he's won your affections.

I would reply 'all this is too intense for me so I'm bowing out, all the best' and get out. This is ridiculous, if it were after a few dates it would be bad enough, but after one, it's just silly. The best interpretation is that he's inept and poorly socially skilled and thinks this is how men 'ought' to react, at worst, he's a stalker in the making. I would body-swerve.

Sounds like things my recent ex would say early on. Believe me when I say, I wish I'd noticed the red flags 10 years ago and ran away then!

At best, he's very clumsily excited at the thought of having a girlfriend. But even in that scenario, is it really you specifically he is pursuing or is he chasing after the dream girl?

I'd be concerned.

Well if he's like that after 6 weeks I hate to think what he'll be like in a few months, I met someone just like this when I was a great deal younger, when he mentioned me moving into his flat on the second date I'm not ashamed to say I vanished from site, even as a rather naive girl I was seeing this red flags lining up.

Quick update- I've backed off considerably and told him I'm not looking for anything deep and not ready for the kind of relationship he seems to want (got be very careful how I navigate this, he's a lot senior than I and I dont want him ruining my career) since then he's bombarded me with text after text after text, sometimes 7 or 8 in a row with no reply from me, several times a day he will say "you're beautiful, you're amazing" blahblahblah nothing of any substance. I muted him yesterday as I want a quiet weekend. Bitterly regretting the whole thing 😥

Ugh this is why you don’t get involved with workmates! Nutters lurk in plain sight!

On the bright side, if he keeps this shit up after you ask him to stop, you’ll have a clear HR care for harassment.

Love it hahahaha

This sounds a bit worrying. Do you have people you can go to if he won't stop?

Yikes. Your last update is worrying, especially as he's so senior to you at work. I think you need to be really clear and ask him to stop messaging you. If he carries on you may need to let someone at work know as this is bordering on harassment. He sounds unhinged. Keep all the messages in case you need them later.

Walk away OP. Actually don't walk.....run! 🏃

Wow! It sounded awful before your last update OP! Definitely showing his true colours there! Does he know where you live? I’m hoping not!

Keep all the messages in case he makes things difficult at work and you have to report to HR!