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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this lovebombing?

128 replies

Namechangeforme88 · 13/11/2024 15:03

So I've heard the term before, but I'm not sure if it fits this situation or if I'm just cold hearted.

Met a guy at work about 6 weeks ago, swapped numbers, had great chats, he's funny and kind and we seemed to have stuff in common. Arranged a date last week. Went well, had a small kiss at the end.

But since then I feel like he's been laying it on super thick. Some things he's said -

I'd give anything in the world to be there with you - after he asked for a pic and I sent him one of me in pj's going to bed

After a mildly flirty message he said- when we do finally do it, its going to be very emotional.

Would love to give you a shoulder massage, but it would have to be from the front so I could look into your eyes - when I said my shoulders were hurting

I can't wait to hold you in my arms - just woke up to this message

You're perfect in every way, inside and out - again out of nowhere, when he doesn't really know me

You've been quiet lately, everything ok? - when I didn't text back because I was in a meeting

I feel like I'm losing you- haven't replied to that one at all

I've been used to quite stand off ish men in the past and I've not dated in a very long time, so not sure if I'm out of touch but this just seems way over the top.

OP posts:
Cardinalita90 · 17/11/2024 23:27

Ah, then yes I'd rip the plaster off. You'll feel so much better for having done it and then you can focus on practical next steps if he ignores you but you have to take a deep breath and do it. Good luck.

NewBalonz · 18/11/2024 07:40

I agree with PP that you need to send him a message directly telling him to stop messaging you. If you need to take this further, you want to be able to show that you've been clear. The phase-out was worth a try, but its clearly not working.

Ablondiebutagoody · 21/11/2024 11:12

Namechangeforme88 · 16/11/2024 21:02

Quick update- I've backed off considerably and told him I'm not looking for anything deep and not ready for the kind of relationship he seems to want (got be very careful how I navigate this, he's a lot senior than I and I dont want him ruining my career) since then he's bombarded me with text after text after text, sometimes 7 or 8 in a row with no reply from me, several times a day he will say "you're beautiful, you're amazing" blahblahblah nothing of any substance. I muted him yesterday as I want a quiet weekend. Bitterly regretting the whole thing 😥

Get in first. Straight to HR for harassment

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