Is this lovebombing?

[Namechangeforme88]

So I've heard the term before, but I'm not sure if it fits this situation or if I'm just cold hearted.

Met a guy at work about 6 weeks ago, swapped numbers, had great chats, he's funny and kind and we seemed to have stuff in common. Arranged a date last week. Went well, had a small kiss at the end.

But since then I feel like he's been laying it on super thick. Some things he's said -

I'd give anything in the world to be there with you - after he asked for a pic and I sent him one of me in pj's going to bed

After a mildly flirty message he said- when we do finally do it, its going to be very emotional.

Would love to give you a shoulder massage, but it would have to be from the front so I could look into your eyes - when I said my shoulders were hurting

I can't wait to hold you in my arms - just woke up to this message

You're perfect in every way, inside and out - again out of nowhere, when he doesn't really know me

You've been quiet lately, everything ok? - when I didn't text back because I was in a meeting

I feel like I'm losing you- haven't replied to that one at all

I've been used to quite stand off ish men in the past and I've not dated in a very long time, so not sure if I'm out of touch but this just seems way over the top.

I would describe that as cheese-bombing or cringe- bombing

waaaayyy OTT 🤢

Run! This is way OTT. Wouldn't even have put up with this as a romance obsessed teen let alone as an adult.

He wants to have sex with you and has a very creepy way of going about trying to get it.

'Would love to give you a shoulder massage, but it would have to be from the front so I could look into your eyes - when I said my shoulders were hurting' doesn't even make sense. So if he's doing it front ways he would be massaging your tits? So also wouldn't be able to see your eyes? But can't just say 'I want to grope your tits'. BC it sounds like what a 14 yo would say...

He's a wrong 'un. I'd be sexually repulsed by his almost childlike attempts at getting laid.

It's actually scary to think that any women would fall for this tactic.

He just wants sex. He's desperate for it.

That's way too much after just one date 😬 I'd run a mile!

Awful...

This is a LOT after just 1 date and only knowing each other a few weeks. Way OTT.

Tell him he is coming on way too strong. If he doesn't respect that and back off quite a lot, I'd end it.

The less common multi-faceted ick! Dump this one op if for no other reason than him being completely cringeworthy.

🤮

This is the kind of attitude he's after. Someone who genuinely thinks they're the one for him, because of what he says.

He doesn't know her at all. He might have a crush.

But the implication from his messages are that this is it, they are destined to be together forever.

Only so so every insecure would fall for it.

It's fucking creepy as fuck.

Or someone very young and naive about love/romance.

(Been there, got the t-shirt!)

No I wouldn’t say it’s love bombing, however he’s desperate needy clingy and clearly gagging for a shag .

OMG. Sorry OP but he sounds awful. OTT, needy, cringey .....

Get rid. All that looking in your eyes stuff would give anyone the heebie jeebies!

On re-reading your OP, I retract my suggestion that you tell him he's coming on too strong. He knows. And if he doesn't know, he has the emotional intelligence of a slug. Either way, it's not worth the conversation.

Considering you've only had one date, this is very much over-the-top. I would be completely freaked out by these comments. The 'I feel as if I am losing you', just because you hadn't replied, is a major red flag. It comes across as insecure, needy and potential for controlling, jealous behaviour. I would run for the hills, and quickly.

Agree with previous posters. Major ick. I couldn't deal with someone so clingy and weird!

Out of interest, people who say it's not lovebombing, what do you think lovebombing is?

You don't think, "You're perfect in every way, inside and out" (from someone who doesn't really know you) is love bombing?

It's as much of a cliche as men who say "We have so much in common, it's like you're the female version of me!"

Don’t know about love bombing but it’s absolutely OTT and has given me the ick just reading them😂 16 year old me who was obsessed with rom com’s would probably have been convinced he’s the love of my life, adult me feels slightly sick

This 100%

Ive been there - inside you know it’s too much too soon but you think “oh, he’s just a lovely empathetic guy who isn’t afraid to show his feelings”. It’s often only afterwards (when they’ve completely fucked you over) you realise it was major lovebombing and you should’ve listened to your gut. They target empathetic women who show them reflected glory in their eyes. They mirror you to seem like your soulmate. Next will be subtle stories of how everyone loves him, he does this that and the other for everyone bc he’s so giving and charitable. Aligned with subtle comments about how he’s been done wrong by certain people in his life, his exes were psychos, his upbringing was crap, the people he works with are degenerates who cheat, gamble, take drugs and use prostitutes. Mine turned out to be a pathological liar and I only realised afterwards when a lot of shit had happened that this was major projection about things he himself had done/was doing. They eventually try to alienate you from everyone and think you can’t trust anyone but them. They try to make you feel like it’s you and them against the world - but when they are called out or their needs change they drop you like a hot brick with no explanation.

That’s my experience anyway.

Run is my advice!

is he called Luke and been on Married at First Sight ? Total cringe

🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Depends how you feel. I liked my DP when we first met and thought something merging was special. He was a bit over the top when we first met after our first date. I did say his keenness was killing it for me and off putting. He would text to say why wasn’t I replying. He thought I was amazing and lots of cheesy lines. I was put off and if it wasn’t for a guy feeling that he was different I would have binned him at the start.

I told him it made me feel uncomfortable and cringy. he admitted he was accused of being to quiet by other past relationships so trying to be romantic and show he was interested.

he dialled it down and all turned good. Now being with him for years I realise he gets excited with new things. I was his new thing!!