Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

[lemonepisode1]

I'm online dating for a while. My face is decent and I'd consider myself relatively attractive in the looks stakes but it is my body that men seem to dislike.
As above , I'm that size, 5'7', proportioned except for a wide , flabby meno belly.Im 2.5stone overweight on the scales.
I weight train and walk and run over the week.. so I exercise every day. Look after my appearance/ clothes/ grooming etc but I really believe it's my body that turns them off .
Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?
What are your experiences and more so, what do you find attractive out of interest ?
Thanks.
Lemon

My wife drew my attention to this thread.

The OP had asked for responses from men. Guessing she wouldn’t get many, I responded.

Do you have an issue with that? If so, why?

I made it sound worse than it probably is. It may have been a throwaway remark when i was lamenting my grey hairs, which i got very young. He said something like I don't care about women getting old just not fat. I know he likes slimmer women but I'm not saying he would leave a woman if they got fat. I was just seeing a similarity in what the other male poster said and wondered if it was a pattern for men.

Come now. It was you that said 20s and 40s in order to get your 'strong stomach' line in. If you'd have said 12 years like most would, people wouldn't have assumed, but the line wouldn't have worked.

That was funny! I was like, when have chickens become a deal-breaker in a relationship? Oh wait, chickens?

I think you are putting yourself down you say you are 14/16 dress well attractive you say you are overweight but if you are going by bmi that’s so out of date. You are overthinking this . Not all men prefer younger women op

Being attractive is a state of mind. It's how you carry yourself, and ultimately how you view yourself. We can't be deterministic that this or that attracts people. People attract people. Look in the mirror, ask yourself what your best features are, embrace your flaws, tell yourself no one is entitled to label you. You're 50? Fine. I know people in their 20s or 30s who feel exactly the same about themselves, wondering if they're attractive enough, so no, that's not an age issue. The right guy will like you for who you are and not for what I-don't-know-who decided you should be.

How come you were single in your early 40s? Most people are well settled by that age.

Plenty of people are single at that age, be it because they were settled and are now divorced, or widowed, or never met someone they would set up home with. Or a load of others reasons.

So my only question - and I wouldn’t know the answer - is are you on the right dating apps and sites? They can be geared to different age groups and expectations….(When my son’s long term girlfriend broke up with him and he turned to the main dating app here in NZ he did not get many matches. He was in his late 30s, tall, reasonably good looking but looks his age. It’s an app used more by people in their 20s. Although it worked out in the end - met his future wife who was also in his 30s).

Many people assume, wrongly, that exercise helps you lose weight. It does not. Only diet works. Exercise helps redistribute your bulk. You must eat less, and more wisely.

Men in their 50's are looking for women in their 30's IMO. I only got messages off 65-70 year olds and I'm 55!

I can't be bothered with OLD now, I'll stay single 🥺

I’m 58 and oldest man who messaged me was 79 (and looked every minute of his age) and he got quite abusive and aggressive when I gave him a polite no thank you.

Told me to lose the ageist attitude otherwise I deserve to be single forever 🤣

I wonder what the men in their 50s looking for women in their 30s end up doing when they don't get one? Do you think they just stay on there forever and ever getting older and older while their profile picture never changes like reverse Dorian Greys?

Sad reflection of our overtly image conscious society . What saddens me more is that of the older man seeking a much younger woman , why is it that these men have an inflated sense of their physical appearance . Don’t let those ,hopefully rare, men put you off .

@TTPDTS
I know some men who love their chickens way more than humans 🤣🤣🤣

And 20 was the lowest age possible on the graph….

I’m a size 16 and it certainly wasn’t an issue for men in their 20s when I was dating. I mean I’m sure it is for some, just like it’s an issue that I’m tall or better educated than them or very independent. But it certainly wasn’t an issue for the decent ones. Unfortunately, I suspect there are a lot of rejects in the pool of men in their 50s dating.

Why did your size 6 wife who's much younger than you encourage you to post on the thread of a woman who is 50, a size 14, having a hard time on old, and wondering if it's her size or age etc?

Your wife knew you were going to say you prefer "slimmer" women (size 6 is not slimmer btw) and she presumably knew you'd say you wouldn't go out with her if you were single. She knows this because she's a size 6 and your type, and I'm sure you've discussed your preferences with her.

So now I'm wondering what the motivation of both you and your wife was when posting on a woman's thread only to say "I might possibly be attracted but I would not date you. I prefer slimmer women, my wife is a size 6".

Was it to help her? How do you feel this would help her?

Also did neither of you think the fact that you're a couple with a big age gap & the female half is 4 sizes below average for the UK; might be irrelevant or unhelpful for a woman whio is average size for the UK, and who'd like to date around her age?

If he's so unageist in attitude then he can date 79 yr old and older women, eh

At your height what's the issue, really not big at all? Are the men on the dating app perfect 6 pack?

Why do you feel the need for another man?
Just enjoy ur life. Have friends-male and female.
Maybe if something comes from that then great but dating....ewwww I honestly wouldn't ever do it again.

Yes.

It's pointless to ask about the reasons behind your outcomes when using the apps. Similarly, there's no benefit in inquiring about the opinions of 50-year-old men. DP falls into that age group, and his ex was a 28-year-old size 8 Eastern European. Our age difference is 9 years; we are both lean, athletic, and trim (I'm 5 11 size 8-10 UK).. Neither of us would date someone who doesn't appreciate those qualities.
It's interesting how, in our nation and in the States, being overweight or obese has become normalized. However, there's someone for everyone, regardless of their preferences.

My son once went out with a girl he met online. Se was attractive, slim & well dressed. He drove miles one weekend to meet her. When she opened the door & said her name he was absolutely shocked as she was approx five sizes bigger than she appeared on her profile. However he did go out with her for a short while. She was a big girl but had a lovely personality. The only problem was she drank way too much. He ended it but was quite upset about it all. A girl doesn't need to be like a model to be attractive to a man. Beauty is only skin deep remember.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your age, your size, your height do not make you unattractive as a human being. People are attracted to different things and online dating is a shallow pool. To meet more like minded people, join a running group or a social group that like doing the things you do- that’s where you’ll meet someone who sees you as your truly beautiful self. Do not even for a moment think that because you’re 5ft 7 that men are put off or because you’re 50 or have meno belly. I’m actually really disappointed in those telling you it’s because you’re 50 or too tall. It’s not, your swimming in shallow water, dive into the sea, there are proper grown ups there.

💯

I wonder if the wife is from Thailand as women tend to be petite in Asia.