Honest opinions ... is a UK 14/16 seen as unattractive for dating as a 50 year old?

[lemonepisode1]

I'm online dating for a while. My face is decent and I'd consider myself relatively attractive in the looks stakes but it is my body that men seem to dislike.
As above , I'm that size, 5'7', proportioned except for a wide , flabby meno belly.Im 2.5stone overweight on the scales.
I weight train and walk and run over the week.. so I exercise every day. Look after my appearance/ clothes/ grooming etc but I really believe it's my body that turns them off .
Honestly, especially to men on here, is that size and body type unattractive to you on a woman who is 50?
What are your experiences and more so, what do you find attractive out of interest ?
Thanks.
Lemon

Lose weight because you want to lose weight not because you think men want a slimmer woman. Upload some pictures of you in a more casual look as well as your glamorous look. People don't like deceit, it's not that they don't like curvier women.

What dating sites are you using?
Unfortunately OD has given somewhat average men unrealistic expectations as to what kind of women they can meet (ie. Women in their 20s. My DN even had men in their 60s message her when she was on sites at 19!) however if they are looking for a serious relationship, at your age range, most men just want a decent kind person. Let's face it, most people will be divorced/kids/exes in the background etc and they just want someone to be happy with, body size is not hugely up there when it comes to priorities. Attraction comes in many forms not just body size & weight.

My friend who is late 40s is a size 16/18 5'5, very well groomed (make up artist by profession) and is never short of dates from OD. She is very confident though, it would never cross her mind her figure is what would put someone off.

Now, you aren't obese but here are some more opinions on the matter:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5207629-to-wonder-if-obesity-is-unattractive-to-most-men?page=8&reply=139763297

Oh god, I just lost a bunch of weight to get to that point - and am considering losing the weight of the "D"H ... maybe I just stay?! FFS.

OP, its not you, its them darling.

Yes, absolutely

You need to be a size ten ideally

From the sounds of it you should change your diet.

I just can’t deal with the whole OLD thing. I think you have to have plenty of free time to make it work and I have hardly any.

Im late forties and a similar size. I definitely felt more attractive about 8 yrs ago when I was first out of a marriage and was much slimmer. That was before peri menopause though!

I think I just don’t have the time or energy for OLD so in a sense I have no idea if the fact I’m slightly bigger or older would be off putting. Friends in a similar position seem to get dates!

We can debate all we like, I’m assuming we are all or mainly women. Really we need to ask a wide section of men both married and single because that’s the group you want to date.

@TheDeepLemonHelper I also just asked DH, I am 58 and size 10 and very occasionally a 12 depending on shop. I was an 8 when we got married almost 26 years ago. He also said age wasn’t so much a thing but that he would still prefer slim.

I treat OLD in the same way I flicked through the Argos catalogue as a kid. Something to do when I've got a moment, some things are shiny and I covet them like I coveted a Mr Frosty, others are confusing and strange looking like the homewares section.

Yep. It’s your age, not your weight.

@nam3c4ang3 "It's the age. I know men who are in their 40's/50's who only date women younger than 30..."

And these women are receptive and open to dating men so much older? They must be wealthy men or in seriously good shape without pot bellies and balding heads to pull such younger women.

Most men OLD are utterly deluded as to their physical appeal. They think they are seriously gorgeous. It's really amusing.

I don't go near those OLD sites now. They are not useful at all.

Op, just go out a lot. Don't say no to any invitation to socialise. Have lots of fun. If you meet someone romantically then great. If not then it's important you're ok with that too.

That's normal size but you would need to be willing to date 10-20 years older to expand options

I nodded along to that - I’ve had chickens. They’re a nightmare 😂

It's online dating, isn't it? When you reduce partners down to shopping for parts. Yes, men prefer younger women, that's probably entirely evolutionary. But I don't think that people are so strategic or reductionist in the flesh - when the warmth of connection supercedes the data matches.

Men in their 50s may well be “looking” at women in their 30s and 40s but - unless the man in question is some kind of glamorous tycoon - why would the women in their 30s or 40s be looking at them?

This is not meant to be an attack on you - but I feel this mentality is really damaging and unrealistic.

Certainly things were different back in the day when men had the economic power and women had to “compete” with each other using their looks as bait. But that is no longer the reality. And if men persist in holding onto these unrealistic expectations of a bygone age, it prevents healthy relationships between men and women as equals.

I agree. I’m 42 and have no interest in men 50 and over.

Have you been on any dates, @lemonepisode1 ?

Id be surprised if it’s your size as I am about that, as well as tall and really had no problem with it on online dating at around your age.

I just approached it with no expectations, the hide of a rhino, and had really strict boundaries. I think meeting quickly after starting chat is a good thing and stops the waste of investment in things that aren’t starter.

There are plenty men who want to date someone their own age.

Yes, it's so blindingly obvious it seems silly to say it aloud. No wonder most men walk away from online dating so utterly defeated and rejected with only 10% of men amassing any interest at all if they all think their in the dating pool of thin, beautiful women decades younger than themselves.

So basically men want to date their very young adult daughters friends 🤮

They try to convince us it’s evolution and to keep the population going, but women learn most men don’t even like children once they have them.

Youth is the beauty standard that men love most. That is all it comes down to and naivety of younger women, easier to control and manipulate.

Dirty dicks.

I honestly think that is too simplistic @Lionsdenoffools . I online dated on and off for over 15 years and met plenty of perfectly pleasant men who were not looking to date young women. Of course there are pricks out there, but there are some really unpleasant women too.

Youth is absolutely not the beauty standard that most men love. That's like saying that muscles are the beauty standard that most women love. I think we are all a bit more nuanced than that.

Seriously most men on OLD get very little interest and most of them will not have their pick. It depends on what circles you move in but the vast majority of 50 year olds are not dating women in their 30s and I’d say many of them wouldn’t want to either. Look around at the couples you see out and about - loads of them will have met online.
I doubt it’s any particular thing OP. It’s just quite hard to find people online although given that’s how most relationships start now, definitely not impossible.

So hang on. You are saying that you think they don't want to date you Because of your weight, but then you are actually not prepared to date a guy because they are shorter or any other issues.
That comes across a bit shallow if them guys are decent maybe they are embarrassed about their looks to that's why they try to hide it.

Does it really matter? I mean, if the majority of men you asked (and I don’t think there are very many on here tbh) said yes, would you try to lose weight? If they said they like big boobs (and you don’t), are you going to wear padding? get implants? If they said they prefer blondes would you dye your hair? Even at that, it might not actually work.

So hang on. You are saying that you think they don't want to date you Because of your weight, but then you are actually not prepared to date a guy because they are shorter or any other issues.

^

Yip

🙄