Husband won’t replace his wedding ring

[Luminiiii]

Am I being unreasonable??

My husbands wedding ring came off his finger in the summer on holiday in the sea. We spent hours looking for it but it had gone.
I’ve asked numerous time for us to go together to replace it, make a day of it, or even buy it online. But he just keeps saying it’s not his priority and he’s too busy.

I trust him completely and it’s not a case of worrying about him looking single on a night out. But it’s what it represents and the symbol of it that’s important to me.

Is he in the right or me??

Wearing a ring doesn't guarantee a good marriage. Tbh Being married doesn't guarantee a faithful kr loving husband

There are exceptions to everything - as long as my hypothetical husband wore his ring and was proud to be married to me, and faithful to me, I'd be happy. Same here, id wear my ring with pride, as well as being what i deem to be a good wife.

And I'd be really hurt if he didn't understand the things that matter to me

DH hasn't worn his ring for years - I'm not even sure he knows where it is tbh 😂

I can see why you're hurt but honestly, it's just a piece of metal. Maybe get him a replacement for Christmas if it means that much?

Mine wore his for about a month. He hated the feel of it.

It really doesn’t bother me at all. Men wearing rings isn’t the norm in my family, or his.

We’ve never worn wedding rings but had a black tie smart London hotel wedding with several hundred guests from around the world. My wedding dress came from a Brussels designer!

“Pathetically insecure”. Nice.

Thanks for all the messages. Even the ones that say I’m controlling or insecure 😂
Lots of balanced suggestions and plenty of food for thought. Thanks all x

Ignore the nasty ones, obviously deflecting x

It's not irrelevant because it matters to her specifically, in this relationships. What is irrelevant is how anyone outside this marriage views rings

But did you mock OP for feeling sad that her DH doesn't want to wear a ring anymore?

They're the posters I mean.

It's like a weird competition of not caring about something.

Happened in June. Now November. Did you mean a few months?

Why do things always have to get nasty on a simple question 🤷🏻‍♀️ baffling 😂

@Luminiiii I know just an innocent question !
What happened to being kind
Hope you don't take any notice of the horrid silly responses
It's getting worse on here I've found

Classic MN. I've just had a skim through and I noticed PPs falling over themselves to tell you how they'd happily throw wedding rings into the sea themselves because that's how little they care about them.

Have you considered buying him a new one and giving it to him over a nice meal? I do get that it's frustrating that he doesn't want to look, but maybe it's a simple case that he doesn't find ring shopping enjoyable.

Slightly different perspective. If I lost my wedding ring replacing it wouldn’t be a consideration because a replacement wouldn’t be my wedding ring, it would just be a gold band.

My wedding ring is the ring I got married with, not a random ring I bought if the real thing got lost.

So like 4/5 months.

This isn’t something I’d be stressing about tbh.

I understand a ring is significant for you but it’s not like he took it off and then refused to put it back on, he lost it.

You are still married and to him the ring is irrelevant because it doesn’t prove anything.
Him not wearing it, doesn’t mean he’s not married to you or loves you any less.

He only wears it because you want him to, he doesn’t actually need to wear it at all. So I think you should let him get it replaced in his own time, which for me would be after Xmas.

You say you’re not worried but you must be feeling worried about something to want him to replace it within a certain timeframe.

That’s why I never post… I’m a mere lurker for fear of being shot down! 🫣

My husband doesn’t wear a ring and nor did my dad. Wouldn’t bother me. I don’t actually like jewellery on men much, through.

I like wearing my wedding ring, but I'm happy to let my OH decide about wearing theirs. FIL doesn't wear his ring except when attending weddings. He spends most of his day working with lathes and other machinery and it would be too dangerous.

I like your idea of making a day out of choosing a replacement. Do you have any time when you do things together just the two of you? Would seem a bit weird that you couldn't fit it in. Is he so busy that you don't have any time for the two of you out of the house?

Perhaps he's embarrassed about losing it and the expense of replacing it?

Facts - I'm a solid 5 out of 10, with my ring on that's nudged upto a 6, 6.5 😂

Why don't you buy one for him, OP, as a surprise?

Yeah this is my POV. Like people who have replacement "engagement rings" or who go on "honeymoon" months after their wedding. It's a ring or a holiday, the symbolism isn't there.

My dad has never had a wedding ring and my mum stopped wearing hers due to arthritis probably 20 years ago. They have been married for approaching 40 years and I have never thought anything of it.
If my husband lost his ring and didn’t want to replace it, I personally wouldn’t be bothered.
If it is very important to you, perhaps reflect on why, and discuss with thy your husband.

I can see why you feel upset however I don't think it's right to insist on it if he doesn't want to. I highly doubt it is because his feeling for you have changed or something. If it is to show the world you are married that does come across as a bit insecure on your part sorry. Do you really think he loves you less by not wanting to wear a ring?

I always wear my wedding ring. If I lost it I'd be heartbroken but I'm not sure I'd replace it - because the replacement wouldn't be my wedding ring it would just be a ring.

Can people stop using the word 'controlling' innappropriately. It is insulting and upsetting to those of us who have been in a truly controlling relationship.

If only my controlling XH had just aked me a few times to go out with him to choose myself a ring, instead of keeping me trapped in the house, telling me what I could or couldn't wear, not letting me have any access to money, and physically and sexually abusing me.