SIL describing herself as "retired" pissing me off

[SacreBleugh]

I have recently retired. I've worked full time my entire career, as well as bringing up 4 kids. I know. Heroic.
My SIL is a SAHM to 3 grown up kids. She's had the odd temporary very part time hobby job in the 30 years I have known her. She is now also describing herself as "retired". I'm not sure why I find this irritating.

Different DC need different levels of input too.
I have just spent the last year helping my DC who is recovering from mh issues get too and from work experience and english tuition.
If I were in paid work I wouldn't have been able to give her the support she needed over the past few years.
When she is fully recovered and independent I will be able to retire.

She's worked maybe 7 or 8 days in the last thirty years.

I'm not sure why you find it irritating either.

I don’t see anything particularly wrong in it, what else is she supposed to say if asked.

I’m sure people aren’t comparing notes as to who deserves the title of retired more (other than yourself). It’s really not worth getting annoyed about.

We live in a varied world and most people get upset by something that's probably unintentional. I had to give up paid work to look after a severely disabled child (no afterschool club for us) and it used to bug me when other mums would stress that they were 'working mums' as if unpaid care is not work - but really it's just a phrase and it means something in a vague way - like retiring from active life rather than a paid job.

You're irritated because you think only those earning a wage can claim they've retired?

Well, how wrong you are.

Does she have any form of pension? If not, that's the downside of being a sham..

That's what I meant.

I hate these threads.

Just a bunch of people - probably most of them women - tearing other women down. Always.

So what? Are you both up for an award or something and you feel she doesn’t deserve it as much as you? Otherwise I’ve no idea why you care.

Ask her what she’s retired from

I know of a couple of other retired women who feel a bit miffed as you do towards your SIL, and I get that.
For all the reasons you stated.
You worked, I'm sure very hard, while also raising your four children which is no mean feat that's for sure, I'm sure you are proud of your accomplishments.

Your SAHM MIL also ran her household, raised her three children and that was her job, and now she's of an age where she doesn't have that job anymore; she's now retired from this job, presumably after 30 or so yrs of work.

Even though it irks you, I think you shouldn't let it bother you, it has nothing to do with you.

She won't get a penny of pension money from the all the work she chose to do.
I can't imagine how you would expect your SIL to define herself at this time of her life.
Just let it go, be proud of your accomplishments and let her be proud of hers.

It’s almost certainly easier without the added hassle of an actual job! Especially when they reach school age and there are many hours a week of time to oneself involved.

Why?

I hear you OP. I also have a friend who’s been a SAHM for years, now her children are grown and she has had a part time job for the last couple of years and she is talking about retiring. I retired after 40 years in the workforce. It does piss me off.

Being a carer for a child with disabilities is work. Being a SAHM to school aged children without additional needs isn’t.

What on earth difference does it make to you?

What a weird thing to be pissed off about

Caring for them yourself when they are young is work though. While they are in childcare you are not doing the work.

No need to be snarky with your HTH.

I don't know why you find this irritating either. Your "reward" for working all those years is your income - past and future. Use of the title Retired isn't so thing you have to earn
I think she is just declaring that she is 55+ and doesn't intend to get a paid job.
That she is really...well, not working, will be revealed the first time someone asks what she did before she retired 😂

Is raising kids not work? Presumably if you worked - you used day care or had a nanny?

She may have paid into a private pension.

Only a cunt would do that.

Why post incorrect information?