SIL describing herself as "retired" pissing me off

[SacreBleugh]

I have recently retired. I've worked full time my entire career, as well as bringing up 4 kids. I know. Heroic.
My SIL is a SAHM to 3 grown up kids. She's had the odd temporary very part time hobby job in the 30 years I have known her. She is now also describing herself as "retired". I'm not sure why I find this irritating.

With the OP's logic, would someone who stopped part time work when 55+ be only 'semi'-retired?

A lot of hoo hah about a job status 😂

Can’t we all just be happy that we live in a country where women can work if they must? Or work if they choose? Hobby jobs, part time
jobs, freelance, high pressure career jobs….

We have the freedom to choose and we
ought to celebrate that.

Unlike other countries where women & girls cannot talk, work or go to school.

🤝

You don't have to have worked hard to now call yourself retired. Stop being grumpy.

You do though, it’s literally what the word means in the dictionary.

Absolutely. Mumsnet threads like these are pathetic. Men would really have it coming to them if we just went “cool, good for her” and went about our day.

No, semi retired means you are still working for some of the time.

I brought up my children as a single parent (was lucky I could stay at home for a number of years due to good child maintenance) and if anyone said that wasn’t real work they would have got short shrift from me. It was 24/7, from toddler to teens, no days off at the weekend and no annual leave and no going to their dad part of the time (he moved abroad). There would have been a swift boot up the jacksy for anyone minimising the work and commitment that involved.

It means to have ceased work, no longer work, not going to be working again. Not I worked hard and now I've left.

No it isn’t. There’s no level of how hard you worked regarding retirement. You could have gone in the office every day for forty years, closed your door, put your feet up and slept all day, you still end up being as retired as the person who worked their socks off in the same forty years.

Exactly. Competitive retirement, whatever next!

So true @StormySimon

Reading this thread makes me understand why a patriarchy prevailed in the first place. People do not value work that doesn't bring in money. Men thought they were superior to women because of it, now working women are feeling superior to those at home.

Surely anyone can understand there are significant pros and cons to each option.

Also there are SAHPs who do as little as possible but there are also many employees who do the bare minimum. Lazy people exist regardless of sex or status.

What's the difference between semi retired and part-time worker though?

The semi retired person is usually drawing part of their pension aren’t they?

But by the op's logic, to be retired you have to be paid working first.
So surely if you are only semi working you only get to be semi retired? With the other part still being idle/housewife/ladyofleisure or whatever the op wants to use as a descriptor...

Why can't we accept that different people have different constraints and make different choices? Why the need to not allow a 55+ or whatever to class themselves as retired when they are no longer bringing up children / background support to working partner or whatever?

The people I know who refer to themselves as semi retired aren't drawing on their pensions yet.

I’d feel the same as you OP, she’s not retired from anything as her day to day ‘work’ will be the same Now as it was 5/10 years ago once kids were in school. Although I’m not really sure what the appropriate work would be, housewife?!

Depressing isn’t it, women vilifying other women because they can stay home. Women saying women at home don’t have an identity or a personality or are somehow less worthy, it’s disgraceful really.

@mayorofcasterbridge - my impression from your posts is that you think SAHMs are inferior to WOHMs - is that correct?

I haven't seen any villifying but then again I've hardly read the thread. It's not one I'm interested in other people's opinions on.

You ask why I'd find it irritating @BunnyLake (you seem to have taken over this thread somehow) - it's because I'm a pedant. To be retired from something you have to have been working at something. Being a sahp is hard work but it isn't work.

I guess you retired from work outside the home. Where as she made a career of working inside the home. You never get to retire from that. I'd feel smug if I were you.

'Working inside the home' really isn't a career, come on!

Exactly.

and no one gets to ‘retire’ from it, including those who work.

Your last sentence doesn’t make sense. How can something be hard work but not work. And so what if I’ve been contributing a lot to the thread, is it rationed?

That doesn’t explain why it irritates you.

Did I say every minute? It’s better than pushing paper around an office instead. Hire someone to do the same childcare job and go to work, fine if that makes sense to you. Yes, you have the picture book memory of those days and they go too fast. I looked after my dc til school age, I worked before and after that and I will get a full state pension too.

I knew when I checked back this thread would still be going - and it is! What a load of utter guff. Only on MN!