SIL describing herself as "retired" pissing me off

[SacreBleugh]

I have recently retired. I've worked full time my entire career, as well as bringing up 4 kids. I know. Heroic.
My SIL is a SAHM to 3 grown up kids. She's had the odd temporary very part time hobby job in the 30 years I have known her. She is now also describing herself as "retired". I'm not sure why I find this irritating.

She’s obviously had a leisurely life and is now saying she is retired as it sounds like she now deserves her leisure time. In your position I would also roll my eyes.

Agreed. I'm amazed very few have commented on it. So insulting to stay at home mothers.

@PureBoggin
' The majority of women are somewhere in between and we're mostly all just trying to get through the day as unscathed as possible. So what if someone wants to avoid awkward conversations, judgement and derision. Who actually cares. It will not change the reality of YOUR life.'
For me, this is the most sensible and reasonable comment on this thread.

The bitterness and jealousy on some posts is awful.......live and let live.

I'm not angry at all. I just think you're talking a load of bull. You quite obviously consider yourself far superior to WOHMs and I am one without one single sliver of regret!

I also have a pension. My very well supported pension, savings account and stocks will keep me very comfortable well into elder-hood. And the time I get to spend with my children will be worth more than that.

This, I have a terrible memory. If I’d stayed home with my kids for years I feel the days would all have blended into one in my head!

No it doesn't. It literally doesn't. The people who know @SacreBleugh and who's opinions count all know her work history and parenting history. Another woman saying she is retired doesn't change any of that.

There is not one thing I have said that would imply I consider myself to be better vs. working parents. In fact, I think working parents are amazing. As I said twice, the home keeping and activities that I love doing with my children are much harder to maintain when I am working (which I have also said multiple times that I also do).

You have no idea what lies ahead of you in life! If you are fortunate, the road will always be smooth!

Thank you. This has been a thoroughly depressing thread to read. Vandana Shiva has written and spoken on the topic of how the world has been shaped into a masculine profit and product oriented project, and how the narrative was roughly changed into "women don't work", "women's work is not work", "care is not work". It's just horrible seeing how this attitude persists. Work that's always been dominated by women is STILL seen, even on a site called MUMSnet, as being lesser, the equivalent of having "no success in the working world", and "life of leisure". Christ no wonder happiness levels in westernised countries are so low.

WOW, you make many many assumptions. My life has not been smooth and I don't count on it being smooth. You have absolutely zero idea about how hard I have worked to get to where I am or what I have faced.

I am grateful for where I am now BECAUSE my life hasn't been easy. There isn't one moment that I am not grateful to be alive or have my children, those things weren't always a given for me.

You need serious help with the anger, passive aggression and assumptions you are making.

Can’t agree with you on that.

it just depends on how you look at life. Everyone is different and people gain self-purpose in different ways.

You haven't retired if you've (pretty much) never worked.
I get what you mean Op, this isn't about the kids etc, it's her saying she's retired when she's not grafted in a full time job for decades.

Yes, to all of this.

Yeah, tbh I don't personally know any SAHMs with kids in school who won't be extremely well off as a pensioner. I'm sure they exist - just I don't know any.

Same! I think my brain would have succumbed to mush (it's on its way out as it is!!)

I know two of them cut their first tooth at 5 months and the other at 7 months. I think I know which was which but I couldn't honestly be sure. I kept all their baby teeth but then I mixed the fuckers up and didn't know whose was whose or which tooth was which, then somebody told me it was gross to keep them and I eventually threw them all out! I have to think carefully about their birthdays because they're all similar numbers but I do usually get them right. Probably was the WOHM that did it.... yawn!

I might not have seen their first steps - I will never know - but the first step I saw them take was good enough for me.

But they grew up with lots of love, laughter, support in a happy home with the best that we could provide for them, so I'm fine with that!

Who cares? Live and let live.

You're jealous, admit it.🙄

@pepperminticecream Not one of your posts suggest you think you are a superior parent. Ignore @mayorofcasterbridge their response to you is completely unhinged.

Give over! You haven't got the first clue about me. Keep your nasty opinions to yourself. I am just going to ignore your posts from now on because they are seriously just boring me now.

I find this thread so depressing. We shouldn't be tearing each other down based on what choices we make. I genuinely thought that is what women wanted - to have that choice regarding child rearing and work. And I've no issue with SAHM saying they are retired.

I think of retirement as reaching that age where certain responsibilities are lifted and you can enjoy your golden years. Everyone deserves that.

This is so petty.

Sure! Not going to waste any more replies on you either.

I don't know why I ever get embroiled in one of these stupid threads because there's always people who can't accept that other people think differently to them!

I agree. Also, even if she was unemployed all her life and did very little work at home, nobody else's business unless she is taking benefits unfairly.
Maybe she is saying she is retired to avoid judgements from people like OP and some other posters who look down on sahm.

She's not retired because she hasn't been working but you are not going to be able to control what she says. I would just add 'from what job?' every time she says it in your company.