SIL describing herself as "retired" pissing me off

[SacreBleugh]

I have recently retired. I've worked full time my entire career, as well as bringing up 4 kids. I know. Heroic.
My SIL is a SAHM to 3 grown up kids. She's had the odd temporary very part time hobby job in the 30 years I have known her. She is now also describing herself as "retired". I'm not sure why I find this irritating.

Maybe retirement should have levels. OP (and others who get irate about it) could be Platinum Retiree whereas sil only gets to be called Bronze Retiree.

This whole thread reeks of envy.

What’s a hobby job? Got any examples?

I want one. They sound lovely!

I think our economy would be in a lot worse mess without people who pay tax on their income...

...but I do appreciate part of your post in that there are certainly roles that are unpaid (especially social care) that are highly undervalued.

Yet this is not the situation the OP is describing is it? Her relative is effectively choosing a life of leisure post raising children.

Being a SAHM is often a balance of parenting choice and/personal finance. Once those children are older it changes to being only a preference rather than a requirement (exceptional circumstances do exist however).

So was your DH also working part time in a non-demanding job?

It really does

Bitchy much. Unless you’re being sarcastic and just pretending to be a biatch?

You say you'd hate her?!
Wow!
What an awful, sneery comment.
An identity is more than an 'amazing career'

If she’s being serious I know what I’d be identifying her as.

Define a "successful stay at home mum"??

I can understand why you would be annoyed, @SacreBleugh . We all have small, petty things that annoy us and which most of us only voice to ourselves, or Mumsnet and potentially the Daily Mail.

But how else would she realistically refer to herself in a way that is short, to-the-point and doesn't inevitably invite further questions?

😂

Doubledded123 · Today 21:13
"She's a retired housewife. I'd hate her too.
Thank god I have an amazing career and identity."

Yes thank god indeed because your personality is horrible.

I heard a male colleague talking about "retiring from football" .. I should have berated him for using this word when he has clearly never earned a penny from his Saturday five-asides. 😁

My feeling is that retirement is from paid work only. Early retirement would be finishing paid work before the age of statutory retirement age but after the earliest age that a private pension can normally be paid out (i.e. currently 55). If you decide to finish paid work before 55 and not look for another job then surely you can only describe yourself as unemployed if you have no other means of personal income except from a spouse. If you've got your own private income from investments or something then I guess you're still technically unemployed. Mind you, it's not what a successful business person who sold their business for a couple of million would describe themselves as so who the fuck knows.....it's interesting to ponder.

If you are a housewife all your life, though, then how is anything changing, because all the same jobs in the home will still need doing? I suppose you could farm everything you do out to staff and in doing so declare yourself retired that way. But it's a stretch, isn't it? Most people don't have staff when they actually retire from paid employment so does that mean they never retire until the moment they're so incapacitated that another person is doing everything for them?

I think I'm overthinking it all.😆

I'm not sure about the claims to an "amazing identity", tbh. You do sound like a bit of a blowhard.

I know it's only wiki but this is how I understand it too,

"Retirement is the withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from one's active working life."

If you haven't had an "active working life", then you can't retire from it!!

I agree. There is not one part of me that regrets giving up all of the career success to be home with my toddlers. As someone mentioned up thread, I will not be on my death bed regretting that I didn't work more.

"Maybe retirement should have levels. OP (and others who get irate about it) could be Platinum Retiree whereas sil only gets to be called Bronze Retiree."

😀

Well, I totally understand your irritation. With it all together, especially her criticism of you and your job, I’d find her irritating AF too.

Working people would have done about 7,000+ days work in thirty years. This woman has worked…eight. 😂

Do you really think this?

I'm not even going to dignify that with a response other than, bullshit!

😂

this attitude is all over mumsnet and it’s awful

define successful career? ;)

It's entirely possible she's made voluntary NI contributions.